𝗢𝗛 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗛𝗢𝗥𝗥𝗢𝗥!

"so you don't like it?" phai's face cringed in clear disappointment her ruddy, red cheeks pinching with upset. she'd never been one to take care of herself well back before the world had ended so attempting to take care of others after had been a learning process. the soup she'd so valiantly tried to make was slop slightly resembling something like broccoli and cheddar. incensed she picked up the bowl and tossed it back into the sing spilling electric yellow cheese over her sleeve. "whatever i'm not cooking ever again. i'll just wither and die."

"this stuff kind of stinks." phai said her face obscured through a curtain of tawny curls. she propped herself upon on her elbows staring deeply into a barrel of beer. "i thought that it would be more like earthy but it's just kind of acrid." she'd traveled a lot as kid, she knew there were only really four important ingredients to beer and yet she couldn't help but yearn for the days of fruited sours and hipster microbreweries that served fourteen dollar nachos and beers named after obscure star trek characters. "what'd you put in here bell?"

as the buzzing of cicadas swelled to a symphony rafael de la vega thought he might have finally gone crazy. his sanity had been in question on several occasions ever since the world decided to end and modern society imploded in a lovely, terrible atom bomb. there was the time after his parents died he hadn't been able to get out of bed, only coaxed by val's gentle hands and the promise of death if he stayed. or his tenure in the qz when he spent a whole night staring at a crack in the wall willing it to fissure and for a second he thought it might have. under the scorching new mexico son sanity is a relative thing. which is why when he saw berlin, hazy and distant on the border of novac he turned away. the universe is sick with its delusions because berlin is dead. he saw that runner in her apartment with her umber hair and ochre eyes, knew then that he'd lost her forever. a sound like a dry heave whizzed from his throat as he keeled over pressing his dirt-caked palms into his knees. there was no way she was real so it wouldn't hurt to look one more time, just to remember her face for a fleeting second. but when rafael stood her visage was there clear as day unwavering against the heat. she took a step forward and his knees buckled. before he could even process what was happening his feet were moving, tripping over rocks and pits of dirt he flew forward his voice catching up behind him. "berlin?" and then again more urgently. "berlin!" when they collided it was romeo and juliet, psyche and eros, every gorgeous and tragic love story that had survived through history. he gripped her too tight unwilling to let her go in the fear that she might disappear. "berlin, berlin, berlin." he chanted her name like a prayer-an oath to a long forgotten god and a tattoo of psalms on his ribs. when he finally saw his face he could feel tears springing from his eyes. his clammy palms shook against the nape of her neck staring at her in utter disbelief. damn any history they had, anything she'd said to him before she left she was here. when he kissed her she tasted like salt, dirt, and life. the rough pads of his thumbs caught against her cheekbones and he kissed her harder. please don't be a dream, he begged. "please don't be a dream." he said.

"i'm telling you i'm probably not gonna be any help." rafael frowned leafing through another set of papers, a dark grimace souring the turn of his mouth. he liked to help with everything. he at least thought he'd always been helpful around novac. it was rare what they had here, the kind of peace and freedom hand in hand. if he shut his eyes he could almost forget runners lurked just outside the rickety walls separating them and the rest of the world. "i'm looking for what you mentioned jas but i'd lose my head if it wasn't attached. i used to clip everything i owned to a carabiner before i went out."

there's probably a fine line between suspicion and confirmation bias that raf hasn't been able to delicately walk in about a decade. he kind of feels bad for aaron in the most empathetic way he can these days. the guy always seemed one wrong move away from a breakdown which while unfortunate put him on edge in a way that made his spine go ramrod straight. hands tucked into the pockets of his faded denim jeans the last vestiges of life had cleared out of the tap room. grim-faced he approached aaron, heavy boots slapping against the concrete. "you doing okay buddy? it's getting kind of late."

drunk and shiny-eyed phai can almost remember what life felt like before the apocalypse. of course a gin martini would have been much preferred to the homemade toilet gin that burned the back of her throat. still sprawled out in the grass, lara's hair brushing her shoulder she could still stare up at the moon and laugh. a crackling bonfire popped in the distance, the wayward hum of conversation littering the air. phai had closed her eyes pressing the heels of her palms against the hollows of her skull. "lala," she groaned stretching her thighs against the wet earth. "i think i had too much to drink."

weighing the measure of his own pride versus the efficiency of helping novac had become a dark habit in his five years in town. raf's deep, tanned skin shone with sweat in the august heat. the dry flats of new mexico had siphoned any relief from the wind back into the fluffy, cumulous clouds that hung low in the sky. he wiped his forehead on the back of his head and frowned. four planks heavy oak planks sat in front of him propped against the corner of the building where a wheelbarrow had flown into the motel at full speed. turning back to look out at the expanse he saw adam's now familiar pretty-boy face under the beating sun. "hey kid!" he called with a small note of trepidation. "gimme a hand?"