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bpd is romanticized until u cut off everyone who loves u and ur banging ur head against a wall, begging for god to make everything stop

bpd culture is why am i like this?????? why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why a m i like thsi why am i like this why am i like this why am il ike this why an i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like thtos why am i like this whhy an i like this why am i like this why am i like this why an i like this why am i like this why am i like tiis why am i like this why am i liem thsi why an i like this why am i like this why am il ike this why am i like this why am i likw this why am i like this why am i like this why am i like this why am i liek this why am i like this why ak i like this why am i like this why am i like this

BPD is so confusing. I don't want to be in another relationship again, I'm too afraid of them leaving me. But I want to have sex. I can't have casual sex though. Now I want more than that, I want to cuddle and be told that I'm precious and such a good girl. I want someone to tell me how good I'm doing and how proud they are of me. I want to cuddle someone to sleep while I'm wearing a t-shirt and they're completely naked. I want them to spoon me. But I'm too scared to be in another relationship. I can't deal with another person leaving me. I can't deal with anyone else, period. I'm tired of people. I'm tired of being used. I deserve to be alone. I deserve to rot. I deserve everything that comes to me but God damnit deep down I know I just want to be truly, purely, completely loved.

Where is my FUCKING teenage dream?

*blushes*

I miss too many people that don’t even think about me anymore.

I did it again. I ruined everything. Hes going to leave me. Im going to be alone again. He cant leave, he cant- why wont he just stay? I need him- i cant do this without him. Id rather die than be without him. If he leaves i might aswell be dead.