All The Feels.

As I wake up, you are my first thought in the morning then I will search for my phone and send you a message; a simple “Good morning” or “Baby”. Even I am groggy, I still manage to hit send. My day can’t start without seeing your name in my phone. I can always wait for you, I always do. I can even wait longer; I manage to do so. I long for you, I always miss you. We are in such situation that we have to trust each other and I want to thank you for trusting me and even we are in such distance you made me feel more of who I am. You support my passion and you believe in me. You made me feel safe even you are out of reach, you made me feel loved just by asking where I am or what am I doing or what’s for lunch. Its the small things that really count. You accepted my flaws and cherish the sum of my parts. And every time we talk or just juggling numerous topics; you make me feel easy to share my thoughts and I know that you know that its hard for me share stories and I like the way you pull me to do so. I love the way you make me try. Thank you for letting me change my ways to be better. And another thing, I always love your humor, you weirdness, and your nerdiness. I am so blessed that you came back and stayed. All I ever wanted is for you to stay. Thank you for making me happy. Thank you for being so strong, thank you for being you. And I promise you to give more in every way. I will be stronger, I will be patient and most of all; I will give the love and care that you always deserve. I wont let you go and I will never leave you. Cliche, yes; but its true. I want to be the person who will make you happy. I hope I can. Still, I will. Thank you for everything. Have I told you I love you? Because I do. I always do. I love you.

My love, my light and my everything; thank you for being understanding even in our rough times, you didn’t give up on me; on us. I love you for who you are and every bit of you. I love your sweetness, your passion, your mess and affection. You are my favorite, my sunrise and my sunset; you are my everything, You made me stronger and in every way you made me more of who I am. I am here for you, always. I will never give up on you. I understand that we are in such situation that time deprive our needs and wants but here we are; fighting, still loving each other. We will work this out, we can make it. I trust you; I trust us. I love you. And it may sound cliche or whatever. I will love you forever. This is all worth it. You are worth it. 

And you love me so but am I deserving? I love you so much, but I felt i am lacking; of the things I should give, the things I should be sharing, but I keep on taking; taking so much from you, taking so much from us, im complicated, im selfish, i always think of myself; when Im busy, and mad, and hungry for worth, and I forgot that you are there; loving me, staying, caressing my flaws, and my downsides, you love me still; for everything, for all its worth, for us, you are the biggest blessing; a sinner could have.

Imagine you and me attending parties music and booze dancing in blues we haven't been reckless but we can try sometimes lets crash weddings celebrate their endings lets dance to their fave beats snatch guest's seats spin me around and around enjoy how they say their vows for I am sure one day a rebel couple will crash our wedding party with music and booze dance to our beats snatch our guest's seats enjoy how we will say our vows for I am sure our vows will be wonderful infinite and forever imagine that one day.

We; i love that.

with those words I let my guard down and realize that this man is the one for me; my true love. I am sure. I am confident. What we have now will last forever or whatever measurements can be used to tell how i feel for him. Because this man is the one I prayed, wished, and hoped for; finally he is here.

you left but loved me.