RIDE ALONG THE ROLLERCOASTER THAT IS MY MIND!

Your mouth tasted like cannabis and Jack Daniels the night you contaminated my mind with cheap love. This should’ve been warning number one but I tend to skip warnings. You see my mother always warned me about boys who are addicted to drugs and alcohol. She told me that I would just become a substance to them too, and some days I’ll just feel like an empty bottle of Jack Daniels to them and they’ll break me to pieces.

If you ever asked me how many times you crossed my mind or how often I thought of you, the only right thing to answer would be “just once”.

Never let anybody else tell you what progress is. You are the only one who knows where you’ve been and how far you’ve come. You are the only one who knows what you were up against. You are the only one who can honestly tell yourself whether or not you’re getting better. So, my love, if you walk out of that presentation thinking you killed it, and get the scoresheet back to find out you “Need more confidence” or “weren’t loud enough” or whatever else it is you struggle with, I urge you to throw that feedback to the wind. The person who gave you that score doesn’t know your life story. They weren’t there for the time in eighth grade when you had a panic attack in english before having to read your writing to the class. They didn’t watch your ninth grade class presentation during which your hands shook so much you dropped your notecards on the way back to your seat. All they know about you is what they saw that one time. They scored you off of what they believe is good, but they haven’t seen how much better you’ve gotten. Just because you aren’t up to their standards doesn’t mean you didn’t just crush your own. You are getting better. You are getting better, and just because others can’t see that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

Hell, how I wish you knew that when we were lying outdoors, under the stars, and our two hearts were beating the same rhythm, they were both yours.