Mumblings and musings

Crowley turns to look at you with a questioning gaze, “What is the meaning of this, Y/N?”

With a sigh, you and Mash take some time to explain what all had transpired in the Ramshackle Dorm since you got in to the headmage, sparing no details.

“But you know, on that topic, I do seem to recall that this dorm had a mischievous ghost problem,” he holds a hand up to his chin in thought, “ah, yes… That’s why it was abandoned, in fact. The ghosts scared away all the students. And you’re saying that you all joined forces to drive them away?”

“‘Joined forces’ ain’t exactly how I’d describe it. More like I drove ‘em away, and the pink haired one helped I guess, while the other human watched. And I only did it ‘cause I wanted some tuna,” Grim crosses his little arms before throwing them up in frustration. “Hey… wait a minute! I never got those cans of tuna ya promised!”

“Could you not have told us before that we’d be dealing with ghosts, or did that just conveniently slip your mind?” You deadpan, running a hand through your hair in exasperation.

Seemingly ignoring you, Crowley continues, “Would you all be so kind as to demonstrate your ghost-eradication methods for me?”

The cat beast scowls, putting his little hands on his hips, “One, no, ‘cause I already wiped ‘em all out. And two, no, ‘cause where’s my tuna?!”

Crowley crosses his arms, sighing as if the answer is obvious, “I will play the part of the ghosts. As for the tuna, you’ll receive it when you defeat me,” he smiles, proud of himself. “Oh, what generosity, Crowley… Now, to chug this transmutation potion!”

The headmage unveils a vial from his sleeve, uncorking it and downing it in one go, and, with a bright flash, turns into a ghost, complete with a little cape, and his signature mask and hat.

Grim looks all too displeased at this, “Ah, you gotta be kiddin’ me. I gotta work together with the humans again?”

You take your chance to chime in, “Hey, think about it this way, Grim, this could be your big chance to show him what you're made of and finally enroll in the school!”

Clearly taking your words to heart, the gray car beast seems more enthused, “All right, but this is the last time. And I better be up to my jowls in tuna afterwards!”

“That’s the spirit! Alright, Mash. Let’s do this one more time! Follow my lead!”

“Understood, Master!” Mash transforms back into her servant gear, shield manifesting resolutely in her hands as you take your place beside her, preparing yourself. Grim readies his stance, warming up.

Ghost-form Crowley pops up behind Grim, “Now, then! Let us see you expel ME as a ghost.” He disappears, only to reappear on Grim’s other side, “Go on! Don’t be shy about striking me. I’m much too kind to be riled over that.”

Shaking off his surprise, Grim locks in, smirking and getting riled up. “Okay, but you asked for it! There better be some tuna waitin’ for me after this!”

Ghost-Crowley reappears, taunting you all. “Now, let us commence!”

Grim closes his eyes, preparing to breathe fire at your command, “Okay, human! You tell me if he so much as blinks, got it?”

Keeping your eyes peeled and staying alert, you wait for any sign of the recently tuned ghostly headmage. Sensing a disturbance on your left, you direct Grim’s flame. “He’s coming up on your left side, Grim!”

“To the left? Got it! Taste my flames!” With closed eyes, the cat beast spits out a cone of blue flames, scorching the ghost of Crowley as he appears.

Mash is careful to protect the flames from spreading across the dormitory, keeping them contained and controlled.

Each time the headmage pops up, you’re quick to order Grim’s fire, hitting the mark every time.

“My, does that ever smart!” Crowley yelps out in pain as he’s doused in flame, flickering away. “You’ve impressed me! I may have to up the difficulty a smidge.” With that, the ghostly headmage begins zooming around the dorm, much quicker than he was before.

This shocks Grim, making him stumble back slightly, “Myah?! Why’d he get so fast all of a sudden?!”

The headmage laughs, taunting you all, “Can you keep up with me NOW?”

Grim rights himself, huffing and smirking, “Hmph, I can and I will! This is child’s play for the great Grim!” Clenching your hand at your side self-assuredly, you nod. “Alrighty, Grim! Time for us to turn up the heat! Let’s show him what we’re made of!”

You continue, undaunted, issuing Grim and Mash directions just in time for them to unleash an attack at Crowley, all of you working reflexively and like a well-oiled machine.

Then, Crowley and two other ghosts surround you all, creeping up on you. “I wonder just how many you can elude at once?”

“Grim, we’re surrounded, do your thing!”

“MYAH-YAH-YAAH!” With three big bursts of flame, Grim takes them all down seamlessly.

“Nice job! You got them, way to go, Grim!” You smile, praising the little cat beast, who smirks under the attention.

Ghost-form Crowley reappears, seemingly wiped out. “Well! I’ll be.”

Panting and exerted, Grim seems pleased with himself, “Hah… hah… I got every last one… Hey, human! You’re killin’ me here! You don’t gotta be so rough, ya know.”

You chuckle softly as he complains, giving him a gentle pat on the head. “Sorry, sorry. I just thought you were tough stuff, you know?”

Mash turns back into her regular clothing just as the headmage returns to normal. Grim looks up at Crowley expectantly, panting. “Well?”

The headmage looks at you, in particular, with eyes wide, full of intrigue and surprise. “Incredible… I’ve never seen anyone bend a monster to their will quite the way you have.” He brings a hand up to his chin in contemplation, “I must confess, my educator’s intuition did sense something about you after that brouhaha at orientation, Y/N. I could tell you had a certain animal trainer-y, beast master-ish quality to you. Oh, yes.”

“Well, where I’m from, I’m certainly no stranger to leading a team of individuals with incredible abilities, regardless of whether these particular individuals get along or not, so I suppose you could say I have some experience in a similar area.” You respond, thinking back to the multiple different types of Servants you’ve had to work with in the past, both willing and less than willing. “That said I…” Crowley trails off into indiscernible mumbling, causing you all to stare at him blankly.

You decide to speak up, “Would it be possible for Grim to stay with me? He really would like to go to this school. I could look after him, you know, make sure he doesn’t get into too much trouble.”

“WHAT? A monster, stay HERE?” Crowley gasps, as if the idea is unthinkable.

“Whoa, did you just…?” Grim blinks up at you, a softer expression on his face, as if he’s confused as to why you would ever stick up for him.

“Is it really that unthinkable? Besides, what if there are more ghosts? I’ll certainly need help getting rid of them, and Grim’s a bonafide pro at ghostbusting! With only minimal property damage…” You mumble the last part under your breath.

“Hmmm…” Crowley hums as he considers it, “I suppose I cannot deny your plea. Very well.”

“Myah?! Really?” The cat beast’s face lights up, overjoyed.

“Let me be clear!” The headmage interrupts sternly. “Under no circumstances would I admit anyone to Night Raven College who has not been selected by the Dark Mirror-especially not a monster!”

“I feel like that’s kind of racist…” you murmur softly.

“Nor do I intend to allow you, Y/N, to freeload until you’re able to return home.”

“I mean, fair, but I can use magic, I just haven’t really tried it out here yet, unfamiliar leylines and all that…” You grumble, crossing your arms.

“Fou..” Fou nods in agreement.

“Hrmph. Never shoulda gotten my hopes up…” Grim sighs dejectedly.

“Now, allow me to explain. It was the Dark Mirror that transported you here. Therefore this school does bear some responsibility for your well-being. So I will allow you to remain in this dorm, free of charge. However, you will need to pay for your own food, clothing, and incidentals.” You raise your brow at this, as you obviously already told him you came here with nothing.

“As to how you will do so, penniless as you are… Ah. Ah ha. Yes, a fine plan.” He smiles, all too pleased with himself.

“What exactly are you planning to have me do?” You narrow your gaze at him in suspicion, sensing there may be a catch involved.

“You needn’t seem so alarmed. I’m simply going to ask you to do a few odd jobs around campus. From what you’ve done here, (Y/N), I can tell you know your way around a broom,” he tries to reassure you.

“I’ve barely even gotten started cleaning this place… So what, I’m gonna be a glorified janitor or something?” You mumble under your breath.

“So what do you say to you all working together as a janitorial team? If you agree to that, I’ll make a special exception and allow you to remain on campus. I’ll also allow you use of the library, so that you may study, and research ways to return home. How boundlessly charitable I am,” He crosses his arms and smiles, then quickly cuts himself off, “Ah, but only when your work is over, of course!”

“I thought you were supposed to help us search for a way home?” You grumble under your breath, narrowing your eyes at him once more.

“Whaaat? What kinda deal is that? I wanna put on one of those sweet uniforms and be a student, not sweep up people’s junk!” Grim puts his paws on his hips, looking entirely unimpressed.

“If you’re not satisfied with my offer, I can arrange to have you thrown out again,” the headmage responds without missing a beat.

“Myah?! …All right, fine! Let’s do it,” the cat beast grumbles, not at all looking enthused by the prospect.

You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose and shaking your head gently, “What choice do I have, really?”

“Wonderful. Then I beseech you both… To work hard as the newest members of Night Raven College’s janitorial staff!” Crowley looks entirely too pleased with himself. Soon enough, the pesky headmage takes his leave, leaving you, Grim, and Mash to stare at each other awkwardly. You sigh again and shrug, turning to look at Mash. “Now that we’re free from other distractions, finally, would you like to feel out the leylines here? Seeing as this world practically runs on magic, there’s bound to be something good.”

Mash nods in response, “Of course, Senpai! This should only take a moment or two.” With that, she closes her eyes, using her Servant senses to locate a stable leyline point. She reopens her eyes and looks almost a little shocked. “The closest area we should be able to get a connection is actually in this building, somewhere down the hallway, I believe.”

Your brows raise and your eyes widen slightly in surprise as she mentions this. “Well, that’s good. So this place will pretty much be our base of operations then. Let’s go find that connection point!”

Grim looks up at you both with a puzzled expression, “What are both yappin’ about?”

“Just come with us and you’ll see, Grim. I’m about to show you just what I can accomplish with my magic.” You eagerly follow Mash down the hall, excited to finally be able to get some help and see some familiar faces.

Mash stops in front of a door, gesturing to it with her head. “It should be right inside here, in this room.” The lavender haired girl tries the door, but it doesn’t budge. “It seems to be locked, though…”

All of a sudden, the three ghosts from before show up, staring at you all curiously.

“I don’t know how much luck you’re gonna have with that door…” the larger ghost says.

“We tried pushin’ it and pullin’ it. We even threw a chair at it. But that door just won’t budge. It’s a toughie,” the slender ghost shook his head.

“We can’t pass through it, either. It has some kind of enchantment on it,” the small ghost chimes in.

Grim grumbles, crossing his little arms, “It’s got a keyhole right there! How come none of us have the key?”

That gives you an idea. “You know who just might have the key we need? The headmage!”

-timeskip to around 20 minutes later-

You’ve found the headmage and asked him to come check something out in your dorm. You lead Crowley to the locked room, telling him that you need the key as you want to see what’s inside.

“I was wondering why you would pull me away from my very busy schedule. So you’re looking for the key to this door, hm? Well, yes, I have it. As you know, this dorm sat abandoned for quite some time before you all started living here. I’d completely forgotten about this door. Ahh, what memories!” He seems to become quite nostalgic.

“Myaah, memories, schmemories! Just open it already!” The cat beast huffs, putting his paws on his hips.

“Goodness, how impatient you are. All right, I’ll open it now.” Crowley shakes his head at Grim’s impudence, taking out a key ring and searching for a specific key. He nods his head to himself when he finds it, slipping the key off of the ring, and sticking it into the keyhole, turning it and unlocking the door. He then hands the key to you as the door opens with a loud creak.

You all step inside to check it out, only to choke on the dust. It seems the room was previously being used for storage. Unable to handle very long within the room, you all decide to talk out in the hallway, and on the way out, your foot hits something. You bend down to pick it up, examining it as you step back outside the room.

It looks similar to a hammer, but you can tell there’s a magical element about it. “Hey, Crowley, what is this?”

“I recognise that hammer! Why, it’s a magitool!” He seems delighted.

The rest of you, however, are confused. “A what?”

“It’s a magic item used to fabricate furniture. If you have the right materials, all it takes is one swing of that hammer, and poof! You’ve got furniture! And since the hammer itself is enchanted… You don’t need magic to use it!”

“So we can make all the fancy furniture we want?!” “Only if you have the correct materials, mind you.” Grim starts, only for the headmage to cut him off, correcting him.

The smaller ghost speaks up after a moment, “Say, I just had a thought. There are plenty of empty rooms in this place, right? Why don’t we use the magitool to make ourselves a guest room? You two can do it up any way you like.”

You turn to the headmage to address him, “Is it okay for us to remodel one of the empty rooms?”

Crowley smiles, looking entirely too pleased, “I think it’s a grand idea. Personally, I’d be delighted to see you work your magic and smarten up this dorm. By all means, go right ahead!”

So with that, you say your goodbyes to Crowley, and get to work on cleaning and straightening the room up. Within a good 45 minutes, you’re able to clean out most of the dust, throw away rubbage, and fashion some basic furniture around the room, like a table, a chair, and a small sofa.

Mash comes up to you, just as you stand to observe the room with an accomplished grin. “Master, shall I get things set up for the leyline here?”

You turn to look at her and nod, “Yeah, let’s do that. Then, we’ll hopefully be able to contact Chaldea and summon some more help.”

Your kouhai nods, summoning her shield, and getting to work on connecting to the leyline. Once she deems there’s a stable enough connection, she calls you over. “Good news and bad news, the bad news is that I haven’t been able to reach Chaldea yet, the good news is that I believe we’ll be able to connect to the Throne and summon Servants.”

“Hmm, well, something is better than nothing. I’m glad we’re at least able to summon. Okay, I’m going to try to reach out to the Throne.” You decide as you step closer to her shield, extending your hand with your command seals out to it.

You take a deep breath and close your eyes, feeling out for the magic stored within the leyline, connecting your own to it, as you begin to chant:

“Let silver and steel be the essence. Let stone and the archduke of contracts be the foundation Let rise a wall against the wind that shall fall Let the four cardinal gates close. Let the three-forked road from the crown reaching unto the Kingdom rotate.

I hereby declare. Your body shall serve under me. My fate shall be your sword. Submit to the beckoning of the Holy Grail If you will submit to this will and this reason…Then answer!

An oath shall be sworn here! I shall attain all virtues of all of Heaven. I shall have dominion over all evils of all of Hell!

From the Seventh Heaven, attended to by three greet words of power, Come forth from the ring of restraints, Protector of the Holy Balance!”

A bright light fills the room, magical energy crackling like electricity around you, winds of power surging through the space, blowing your hair back as your mana forms their body in the circle. You’re only able to see the silhouette of their form as the light dies down and the wind settles, leaving a certain magically produced fog behind. From within the fog, a distinct voice calls out to you:

Riddle proceeds to put his hands on his hips and a smirk crosses his face. “Until I deign to remove that collar, you won’t be using any magic. You’re naught but a pet cat now.”

Grim frowns and crosses his arms, before throwing them out to his sides. “M-meoWHAT?! I ain’t nobody’s pet-NOTHING!” Grim growls out.

Riddle frowns again, “Oh, you’ve nothing to worry about there. I certainly have no interest in having you as a pet.” His arms return to his sides as he speaks again. “The collar will disappear once you’re removed from campus.”

From what you’ve seen of him so far, the redhead seems plenty responsible and strict, some rather admirable qualities. He quickly got Grim under control with the spell he cast. You wonder what kind of effect, if any, his collar would have on your magic; though, you’re not hoping to find out any time soon.

“Ha-Ha! Good show as always, Riddle. Your signature spell locks down any magic. It’s quite handy. I’ve just GOT to have it- ah, I mean, I’ve just got to have respect for it.” Azul slips a bit, but quickly corrects himself. He seems recovered enough from his impromptu exercise.

You turn to whisper to Mash, “He mentioned a ‘signature spell’. Could that be akin to a Noble Phantasm essentially?” 

Mash hums, bringing a hand to her chin in thought. “I’m not sure. We’ll have to investigate some more to find out, Senpai.” She nods to you.

Your attention is promptly stolen by the headmage who is, once again, scolding you. “Y/N! Was I not clear that you are expected to take responsibility for your familiar? Now discipline your-”

“For the last time: he is NOT my familiar!” You cut him off with a shout, frustrated with his inability to grasp this concept.

“What’s that?! It isn’t yours?” He looks dumbfounded, shocked even.

“How many times do I have to tell you? NO! He isn’t mine; I’ve never even seen such a creature before today!” You shake your head, facepalming at his dense nature. “And this is supposed to be the headmage?” You mumble to yourself.

“Oh? …Is that so?” Crowley clears his throat. “Then I shall have it expelled from campus. I shall even spare it from being served as dinner,” he says with a joyous expression. “My, but I AM kind. …Someone take this away, please.” 

You frown slightly at Grim’s objectification by the headmage. He’s a sentient creature, so you think he should be treated with at least some modicum of respect.

“Nooooo! Let me goooo!” Grim cries out as he’s dragged away. “You fools better remember my name! Cause I’m gonna go down in the annals of magic history! Just you wait!” The cat-beast was promptly booted from the institution.

You can’t help but feel bad. The poor thing was just excited to learn how to control his magic, and inadvertently caused trouble because of his enthusiasm. Mash puts a gentle hand on your shoulder and phases back from her servant’s uniform. 

“Well, that was quite the unexpected fracas. I hereby declare that orientation has concluded. Housewardens, please escort your students back to the dorms.”

Under his instruction, the housewardens start rounding up their students and escorting them off.

“...Hm? Come to think of it, I don’t see Housewarden Draconia of House Diasomnia anywhere,” Crowley muses aloud.

The guy with long hair and lion ears turns his head and speaks in passing, “And that surprises you? Dude’s a total recluse.”

The nice boy with red eyes whose uniform caught fire speaks up, “Wait a sec… Did anyone even invite him?

“If you’re that worried about him missing out, maybe you should have told him yourself.” The handsome guy shoots back, a hand on his hip.

The red eyed boy hums, closing his eyes and crossing his arms. “Maybe, but I don’t know him too well either…”

Murmuring breaks out among the students present. “Draconia… Like, Malleus Draconia? THAT Draconia?” “So it’s true? He really does go to school here?” “Yikes.”

“What’s so bad about this Draconia guy?” You tilt your head as you mumble to Mash, who shrugs in return.

A smaller student pipes up with a voice not quite befitting of his stature. ”Ah. Just as I’d expected. I figured I’d come down and see for myself whether Malleus had made an appearance.” He crosses his arms, looking rather disappointed. “But once again, he was evidently not informed that his presence was required at an official ceremony.”

Azul apologizes, looking dejected; you’re not sure he actually is though. “You have my sincerest apologies. I assure you, this oversight was in no way intended as a snub.” 

“I mean, you must admit, he’s not exactly the easiest person to strike up a conversation with,” Riddle reasons.

With a hand on his hip, the smaller student responds, “No matter. All who were assigned to House Diasomnia, follow me.” Turning around, he murmurs, “I just hope he doesn’t sulk about this.”

And, with that, all of the students take their leave to their respective dorms, which just leaves you, Mash, and Crowley in the Mirror Chamber. The headmage raises a hand to his chin in thought. “Well, Y/N, Mash, this is a most unfortunate turn of events.” His hand lowers back to his side as he looks at you both with a serious expression. “I’m afraid that neither of you will be attending Night Raven College after all. Surely you realize that I cannot very well admit students that are unfit for my academy. But worry not. The Dark Mirror will see you safely home. Now, step into a gate, and visualize the place from whence you came.”

Maybe this all was just a dream? It certainly felt very real though. The stress from having to save all of humanity must be getting to you. Maybe Archer can make you some pancakes or something when you get up. Turning, both you and Mash step back into the gates. The doors close and you're encased in darkness once more.

“O Dark Mirror! Return these souls to where they belong!” You hear Crowley’s voice outside. 

You close your eyes and think about Chaldea, about your room, about Da Vinci. Everything is quiet as you concentrate. Minutes pass, and nothing happens. You blink your eyes open again. 

The headmage clears his throat. “L-let us, er… try this again. O Dark Mirror! Return these souls-”

He gets cut off by the Dark Mirror’s deep voice. “There is no such place.”

This makes your eyes widen in shock. What does it mean “there is no such place'? Are you still dreaming? Or, if this is a singularity, did humanity actually get erased? Did you fail in your mission? 

“What?” Crowley sounds just as stupefied as you feel.

“There is no place in this world where these souls belong. None.” 

“How can that be? My, but today is a veritable cavalcade of impossible phenomena!” You crack open the door and see the headmage looking at his open hands, frustrated and confused. The Dark Mirror simply stares quietly. Crowley crosses his arms. “This has never happened throughout my long tenure. I must confess that I am at something of a loss.” He then motions for you and Mash to step out of the gates. Now, he’s frowning, exasperated. “Tell me: From what land do you hail?” 

You look at Mash, then back at Crowley. “Uh, yeah, we’re from Chaldea. Our headquarters are in Antarctica.” You tell him plainly, shrugging softly. 

Crowley brings his gloved hand to his face in thought, humming. “Chaldea? Antarctica? I’m afraid I’m not familiar with such a place. I am intimately acquainted with the origins of every student who has ever come here, and yet… This mysterious homeland of yours eludes me. Let us go to the library and look it up, shall we?” Then, he turns on his heel and begins walking in the direction of the library you saw earlier.

“So, wait, let me get this straight. You’re saying you’ve never heard of Antarctica? The continent? Chaldea, I would understand never hearing of, but Antarctica?” You ask, bewildered. 

He simply shakes his head no. “We’ll look at a map when we reach the library.”

It doesn’t take too long for you all to return to the library. The lights are on this time, however, making it a lot easier to see. Crowley pulls out an atlas and several maps, laying them all out on a table. Yet, when you look at the maps, none of them are familiar to you. There’s no Asia, no Europe, and least of all, no Antarctica. Your mouth gapes in shock, you’ve never heard of any of the places on these maps. Sunset Savanna? The Shaftlands? None of these places exist in the world you know, at no point in history. 

“Mash, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.” Looking over at her, her brow is furrowed in confusion as she inspects each map carefully, coming to the same conclusion.

“Just as I’d expected. Nothing. Not only is your homeland not listed on any map from any point in history.” The headmage crosses his arms. “Now, are you QUITE sure that you come from such a place? That wasn’t some sort of lie, or jape? Because if so, the only explanation is that you’ve come from another planet. Or perhaps you were summoned here from another dimension?’ He puts his hands on his hips. 

You merely blink at him. “Just where in the world did we land ourselves and how? Is this a Psuedo-Singularity or? This feels like we’ve been sucked into a fairytale or something; don’t tell me a Caster like Anderson, Shakespeare, or Nursery Rhyme have anything to do with this…” You murmur, a deadpan expression taking over your features. 

Mash speaks up from beside you. “Neither of us can recall rayshifting, so I am unsure as to whether this is truly a Singularity or not. Regardless, we should take the necessary precautions and treat it as such until we find out more about our situation.”

You nod to her just as the headmage speaks up again. “Show me everything that you brought here with you. Do you have some form of identification, a driver’s license perhaps? Or even a..shoe? You do seem a tad bit…empty-handed.”

Sharing a look with Mash, you both run your hands over yourselves, patting yourselves down, checking for anything that you may have brought with you only to find nothing but Mash’s glasses and the Command Seal you possess, along with the magic thrumming through your being. Well, that, and Fou, who pops back out of the hood of the robes you’re wearing with a soft yip. “Uhhh… yeah, I got nothing. Not a saint quartz, leyline stone, holy grail, or mystic code to be found; not even my cell phone.”

He stares at you blankly for a moment. “Saint quartz? Huh?” He shakes himself out of his stupor, then brings a hand up to his chin in contemplation. “Well, this is quite the predicament. I cannot have someone with an unknown and unsuitable source of magic bumbling about my magic academy. And yet, as an educator, I am loath to expel such young persons without a cent to their name, or any ability to contact their guardians…”

“I mean, I’m sure we could take care of ourselves,” you interject quietly, waving him off casually, thinking of your experience of being dropped in foreign situations, with and without the ability to contact Chaldea. 

“Truly, my grace is boundless,” he smiles, relaxing his arms back to his sides. “Hmmmmm…Ah! There is a vacant building on this campus. It was, in fact, used as a dorm a long time ago. With a proper cleaning, it should be habitable enough. Out of the profound kindness of my heart, I will allow you to live there for the time being. In the meantime, we will investigate other ways to send you home.” He puts his hands on his hips, looking entirely too pleased with himself. “Dear me, but I am a gracious man indeed! A model educator, one might say.”

Looking at Mash, you both shrug, nurturing the idea in your heads. “I mean, it doesn’t sound too bad, and it could certainly always be worse, like, we could constantly be on the run…” You bring up.

“Yes, he seems willing to help us from the start, we’ll also have to find some way to pitch in and help where we can,” Mash nods. 

“Well then, I shall take you to your dorm straight away. It is an older building, but it has plenty of…character, one might say,” he smiles, crossing his arms. 

You give Mash a bit of a wary look, “Something bothers me about the way he said that, I don’t like it.”

Regardless, you both follow the masked headmage out of the library and down a very long, winding path through the campus, passing by several buildings that you ask the names of, Sam’s Store, the Hall of Mirrors, the Alchemy Workshop, and the Botanical Garden, until you finally come upon a large metal gate, behind which is an old, decrepit looking building. The trees are spindly and dead, looming ominously overhead, and spiderwebs cover most things in sight. There are actual tombstones in the yard and the windows to the building are boarded up. 

You take it all in, nodding rigidly as you look upon it in distaste, a rueful smile on your face. You click your tongue and suck in a harsh breath, groaning softly. “Yeah, this place has, uh…character alright. With the way it looks from here, it may need a little more than just a ‘proper’ cleaning.” 

“I think ‘abandoned’ is a better suited word for this building, rather than ‘vacant’, wouldn’t you agree, Senpai?” Mash murmurs softly to you, in which you respond with an agreeable hum and nod of your head. 

The headmaster coos softly, “Isn’t it delightful? Right, scoot inside now. There you go.” With that, he unlocks the door and ushers you both into the building. 

Stepping inside, you immediately are thrown into a sneezing and coughing fit from the amount of dust that has collected over years over disuse. Mash hands you a handkerchief and rubs your back soothingly. There are, once again, spiderwebs everywhere, this time coupled with broken, overturned furniture, and dusty, peeling wallpapers and paintings. 

Seemingly ignoring your struggle, Crowley prattles on. “This should keep the elements at bay for the time being. Now, I should return to my research. Do try to find some way to busy yourself. But don’t let me catch you wandering the campus! Ta!” He turns and makes his way out, shutting the door behind him, leaving you both alone in the ramshackle dorm.

Wiping your nose and face with the handkerchief, you take a good look around, sniffling. “It’s like a desolate snowscape. Only with dust… I don’t even see a clean place to sit. Mash, it looks like we’ve got our work cut out for us,” you sigh, placing your hands on your hips. 

The demi-servant pads over to the light switches, trying them out, and, to both of your surprise, the light fixtures turn on and seem to be in working order. “Senpai, we should try to find some cleaning supplies, if we can, to at least make this area easier to live in. I noticed that the dust was getting to you earlier.” 

“Good idea, while we’re searching for supplies, we can also check out the rest of the building on the way. It’s probably not going to be in much better condition, but at least we’ll get an idea of what we're working with.” You cross the room to begin checking closets when something wet hits your face, causing you to look up and see a hole in the roof. It then starts pouring outside, which creates a steady trickle from the roof. “We’re gonna need buckets while we’re at it.”

“GWAH! It’s pouring out there!” A sudden, whiny, nasally voice cries out, startling you as the creature comes scampering in, shaking off water everywhere, including onto you. 

“AH! WHAT THE-?!” Cringing away from the cold water, you whirl around to get a good look at the creature, groaning as you recognize it as the troublemaking cat-beast from earlier. Fou hisses at him from atop of your shoulders, swatting an arm. 

“Bwahaha! That look on your face is priceless! Like a bat that got blasted by a water gun,” Grim grins mischievously, his tail swishing behind him. “As if I wouldn’t just sneak back onto campus the second I escaped pryin’ eyes. You all got no idea what I’m capable of!” He smirks, putting his little paws on his hips, “I ain’t givin’ up on goin’ here just ‘cause I got kicked out one measly ‘ol time. And if you think otherwise, you don’t know Grim!”

“Guards! GUARDS!!! MASH! The cat is back again!” You holler, clutching Fou to your chest securely, mostly so that he doesn’t pick a fight with the cat, as Mash comes running in, already in her Servant gear. 

Grim yelps and cowers into himself slightly, “Hey! No! Bad human! BAD HUMAN!” He lowers his voice to a conspiratorial stage whisper, “Ain’t you gonna ask what I’m doin’ here? That’s what you people do, right? Talk about feelings and stuff?” The cat beast crosses his arms, looking oddly offended, “Just what kinda human are ya, anyway? It wouldn’t kill ya to listen to me. Right?!” He pouts, whining. 

You sigh, rolling your eyes and shaking your head, “Alright, I’ll bite. Why are you so determined to go to this school, anyway?” 

Mash looks between the two of you, relaxing slightly and setting her shield down as she also curiously listens about Grim’s motivations and motives.

Grim lights up as you two begin to listen to him, “Isn’t it obvious? I was born to do this! I’m a magical prodigy who’s got the makin’s to become one of the greatest mages who ever lived! So I’ve been waitin’ and waitin’ for that black carriage to come for me. And yet…” His whole demeanor changes and his voice gets softer as he trails off, and it actually makes your heart ache. But then he switches back to his arrogant attitude from before, lifting his chin and huffing, “Hrmph! That Dark Mirror’s got no eye for talent! That’s why I took the initiative and came here myself. You humans don’t understand what a mistake you’re makin’! Not lettin’ me in is a great loss to the world!”

Some of the rain from one of the leaks in the ceiling begins to drip on him and he fusses, jumping shocked. “Mrrao! C’mon, scoot over! I’m getting dripped on here!” He scurries from that spot, taking refuge in another spot, that then also begins to drip on him. “Bwah! Another hole in the roof! These flamin’ ears are like my trademark, y’know? I can’t let ‘em get doused!” 

“Well, I was on my way to look for some buckets when you came flying in like a bat out of hell, dripping water everywhere, mind you,” you grumble as you turn away from him, motioning to Mash to continue your search for supplies. 

“I dunno why ya don’t just magic those holes away. You could have it fixed in half a jiff,” he complains with his paws on his hips. “Ahhh, right. You can’t use magic at all. Pfft. Man, you’re useless.”

“It’s more complicated than that. It’s not that I can’t use magic, it’s more like my magic doesn’t fit in here. I’d explain it in more detail, but, no offense, I doubt you’d understand it. The headmage didn’t even really seem to understand it, himself,” you shrug as you open up a closet, batting the dust away from your face, beginning to sort through it. Finding nothing but old, moth-eaten clothing, you decide to head into the hallway to search there.

The hallway is dark and cold as you move through it, sending a chill down your spine. “Alright, this place is kind of starting to freak me out…” Just as you say that to yourself, your hair stands on end and you catch three shadows moving in the corner of your eye. Turning quickly, you see three ghosts coming towards you. “MASSSHHHH!!!!” You yell as you begin to bolt in the opposite direction of the ghosts, your battle instincts taking over. 

“Yee hee hee… Bwa ha ha ha ha ha. We haven’t had visitors in ages!”

“Oh, I’m just itchin’ for new friends! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!” The ghosts call out from behind you as you sprint down the darkened hallways. 

“MASH! GHOSTS! IN THE HALLWAY!” You can hear her armor clinking as she runs towards you from another part of the building.

“Senpai! Hang in there! I’m on my way!”

You nearly trip over Grim as he appears, but jump over him just in time, not stopping for a second, months of battle experience coming in handy. Fou is clutched tight to your chest as you make your escape.

“Hey! Watch it! And keep it down over- AAAAAH! GHOSTS! GHOOOOOSTS!” The cat beast quickly gets the memo as he sees what’s behind you and starts to sprint alongside you. 

“All the people who used ta live here got scared of us and ran away,” the small ghost says. 

“We just want a new ghost to play with! What do you say, buddy?” The big ghost asks.

“MASH! HELP US!” You yelp out as you see her, dashing behind her as she firmly slams her shield down between you and the ghosts with a resounding thud, stopping them in their tracks as she summons a thick wall of snowflakes, cutting off their access to you all. 

Grim looks upon the swirling wall of snowflakes in wonder, raising his paw to bat at it, before he shakes himself out of the trance. “I’m a master sorcerer! I ain’t afraid of any dumb ghosts! Myahaaa!” He shouts a rallying cry as he spits blue flame at the ghosts, which misses as the ghosts simply disappear and reappear out of the flames’ reach. 

“Nuh-uh. Not even close,” the lanky ghost taunts.

“Over here! Over here! Ah ha ha ha!” teases the big ghost. 

“Argh! They keep disappearing and reappearing!” Grim complains in frustration, spitting out more fire across the hallway.

“Grim, if you keep it up, at this rate, you’re gonna set the whole dorm on fire! Chill out! Let Mash handle it! We’ve got experience in taking care of ghosts!” you peak out from behind Mash, cringing at the parts of the dorm that he’s set ablaze. 

“Shaddup! I don’t need any lip from you, human!” He growls back.

“Hey, maybe Crowley will let you enroll if you actually get rid of them! You know, without causing major property damage while you’re at it?” you murmur, deadpanning. 

“Myah…?! Hmph… I’m Grim, Master Sorcerer! How come I can’t even hit one of these little-”

“Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!” The ghosts laugh in unison, taunting him. 

“Hrmph! Ganging up on us… Yer a buncha cowards!” Grim spits back in frustration. 

“Are you aiming with your eyes closed? That might make it harder to see where they actually are…” Mash points out gently. 

“Myaaah…” grumbling under his breath, Grim turns back to you both, pointing at you. “You, human! You tell me which way the ghosts are!” 

“That I can do! Mash, please make sure we don't accidentally set the whole dorm on fire!” You nod to Mash as you prepare yourself to essentially play whack-a-mole with the ghosts.

“Orders received, Master!” 

“Let’s do this! On your left, Grim!” You shout out, pointing left, to which the cat beast turns and sprays out a cone of blue flames, hitting the lanky ghost. 

“Aaaaah! It buurns!”

“Ha, got one! Keep it up, just like that…” Grim seems surprised at his little victory. “And let’s clear out the whole lot of ‘em!” He pumps his little paw in the air, getting encouraged. 

**I do not own Disney's Twisted Wonderland, Fate: Grand Order, or any of the characters present in either series, all proper rights belong to the proper owners.**

     You're startled out of the dream by the sound of something trying to open a locked door. You open your eyes to complete darkness. Feeling around, you seem to be in an enclosed space. Had you been unconscious in your coffin upon your return from a rayshift? That can't be right, considering there would probably be a lot more commotion had that been the case. So what happened then?

    "I better hurry up and find that uniform before someone spots me…" Somewhat of a nasally, quirky, whiny voice speaks from the other side of the door.

     This is also a voice you've never heard before. Could this be a random staff member you've never spoken to before? Why are they looking for a uniform in your coffin? Why do they fear getting caught?

      "Urggggh… This lid weighs a ton!" 

       Did the coffin door get stuck? You try pushing on it from the inside. 

       "Try this on for size! Mya-ha!" 

        You don't think you like where this is going. Suddenly, blue flames overtake the front of the coffin and you yelp. You kick open the door at the same time it gives way. The first thing that occurs to you is that this is not Chaldea. But that's to focus more on later; more importantly you bat down the bit of flame sparking on your robes, of which you've never seen before. 

        "What?! You ain't supposed to be awake!" You now see that the voice belongs to a gray, cat-like creature with flaming ears and a forked tail. You assume it's a magical beast or something, because last time you checked cats don't look like that, nor do they talk. 

         "What are you? A hellcat?" You squint at the small creature in front of you.

          "How… How DARE YOU! I am no mere CAT! I'm Grim, sorcerer extraordinaire!" 

          "Fou!" Out from your coffin pops none other than Fou. Curious how he always manages to sneak along with you. The small beast scampers onto your shoulder and perches there. 

          "That thing is more of an animal than I am! Tch. Whatever. You… human! Just gimme your uniform, and be quick about it!"

          You cross your arms. "I have a name, you know? And why would I give you the clothes that I'm wearing? They're the only thing I'm wearing and they wouldn't fit you, since they're human sized." Fou makes a sound in what seems to be agreement.

         "Oh-ho! You got a lotta nerve talking back to me, human! The name's Grim. Believe me, you won't forget it! Now gimme your uniform, and be quick about it! Cause if you don't… you're going to regret it!" Blue flames flicker to life again and lick at your legs.

          Jumping back, you yell at him, "Hey! Stop trying to roast me, you little rat! You're gonna set this whole place ablaze!" 

          You start to hear a muffled yelp from another coffin, accompanied by some commotion from inside. Next thing you know, the lid flies open and out jumps your dearest kouhai, Mash. 

         "Senpai, are you in trouble? I'm here to help!" She rushes over to you with a determined look on her face. 

         "Hey, come on! I'm on a tight schedule here!" 

          More fire spews forth from the cat-like beast and Mash maneuvers you both away from its reach, grabbing your hand and making a run for it. You burst through a set of doors and dash down an open corridor. You pass what seem to be classrooms and a perfectly trimmed courtyard. At last you both flee into a library. It's like one you've never seen before, and there are a couple of books literally floating around. You take a second to catch your breath.

          "Hey, Mash? Do you happen to know where we are? Cause I have no clue." 

          As soon as you finish speaking, you feel a flare of heat and Mash pushes you away from it again. Standing there, looking smug, is the hellspawn. 

          "Foolish humans! Did you really think you could slip away from ME? Now, unless you wanna get burned to a crisp, take off those– Me-YEOW! That hurt! What gives?"

         Behind Grim stands a pale man, dressed in a suit, holding the offending whip. He hosts a coat with an impressive blue collar and plenty of dark feathers. On his face is a crow-like mask that covers only the top half of his face. The man has beady gold eyes, pointed ears, and wavy black hair. The black top hat on his head has a blue ribbon around the base, with a decorative mirror, keys, and a feather arranged aesthetically. 

        "Consider it tough love," he starts to scold the gray beast. He then turns to you and Mash. "Ah, I've found you at last. Splendid. I trust you both are some of this year's new students? My, were you ever eager to make your debut." He crosses his arms. "And bringing a poorly trained familiar with you? That is a clear violation of the school's rules."

          His voice rings a bell, but you can't tell why. Also, this does seem to be a school, but not any that you are familiar with. 

          "As if I'd serve some lowly human! Now lemme go!"

          "Yes, yes. Rebellious familiars always say that. Do be quiet for a bit, won't you?" The mysterious man places a hand over Grim's mouth.

          "Mmmrrph!"

          "Yeah, he's not my familiar, I've never even seen his species before today. If anything, Fou here is more like my familiar than that little guy." You shake your head, disagreeing with the man's assumption, before motioning to the small beast still perched on your shoulder. 

          Unfortunately, it seems he completely ignores you. "Dear me. Of all the students I've dealt with, you two are the first with temerity enough to open their own gates and step out of them." 

           You go to speak up, but he continues to scold you.

           "Does the very notion of patience elude you? No matter. Your orientation has already begun. Let us return to the Mirror Chamber."

           "Uhhh, student? I don't recall signing up for school." You look over at Mash and she shrugs back at you. 

          "You awakened in a room full of gates, did you not? All of the students here at the campus arrived by passing through such gates. Although typically the students have restraint enough to wait until I open them before waking up."

          "Yeah, so, that hellcat totally tried to cremate me within mine, so no way I was staying in there. Then Mash heard the commotion and decided to help me not get roasted alive."

          "Yes, I helped my senpai evade the flames and we ended up running down here." She nods resolutely.

          "Fou-fouuu!"

          "You're the one who insisted on bringing it, so curtailing its behavior is your responsibility!" He raises a hand to his chin, "But now is not the time for such prattle. You've a student orientation to attend! Go on, now. Make haste." 

           You deadpan. He's been prattling this entire time. "Well, first of all, where are we exactly?" 

           Mash nods. "Yes, this does not seem to be the Clocktower, nor the Atlas Institute." 

           "Hm? Have neither of you fully regained consciousness? The timespace teleportation must have addled your memories… Well, these things happen, I suppose. I shall explain it to you while we walk. Truly, my magnanimity is boundless."

         With that the man turns and starts to walk back the way you came, Mash and yourself following after him. However, you both follow at a distance, so you can speak to one another without him hearing. 

         "So far, our situation seems pretty bizarre, but that's not too unordinary for us. I think I remember going to sleep in my bed last night, so I have no clue how we got here; I assume that's the same for you. We don't know where 'here' is yet, he didn't seem to recognize the Clocktower, nor the Atlas Institute. We seem to be in more modern times, considering our surroundings, and they know of magic,  however not of some of the most famous modern magic institutions."

          Mash nods and enters her own input, "These uniforms are not any I recognize either, and the magical energy feels different here. It's not quite on the same scale as the Age of Gods, but not quite the same as our modern magic either. We need to see if we can set up a connection with Chaldea, so we can communicate with them."

          "Let's prioritize finding the nearest leyline, if any, and finding out more information on where we are." 

           Mash nods in response to your order, "Yes, Master, orders received!"

           You find yourselves back in the courtyard when the man begins to speak again, "Ahem. This is Night Raven College. It is an institution for students the world over who demonstrate a rare aptitude for magic. It is the most prestigious academy of its sort in all of Twisted Wonderland. And I am Dire Crowley. Having been entrusted with its care by the chairman, I serve as headmage.” 

“Twisted… Wonderland?” You question, your expression scrunching up in confusion. You and Mash share an inquisitive look, then direct your attention back to Crowley. “And you have magic here?”

“Only those who the Dark Mirror perceives as having a talent for magic are admitted to the college. Those who are selected are summoned to the campus through those “gates”, which can appear anywhere. A black carriage bearing one such gate should have come to meet you.”

This elicits a hum from your throat as you bring a hand up to your mouth in contemplation. What he’s describing sounds like the strange dream or vision that lingers in the recesses of your mind. “I recall a dark forest…” You mutter to yourself. Mash looks at you curiously.

“Senpai?”

“That black carriage serves to receive a student chosen by the Dark Mirror. It too bears a gate that connects to this campus. And, as you know, sending a carriage to meet someone on a special day is a time-honored tradition,” Crowley says matter-of-factly. 

“Huh? Time-honored tradition? Where and since when?” You shake your head in confusion. Mash looks at you and shrugs, looking just as lost as you are. 

Grim starts to fuss at this, squirming in Crowley’s grasp. “Mmfff! Mmmmmmfff!”

“Now, let us attend to your orientation,” the headmage ushers you all along, bringing you all back to the mirror chamber. 

As your group enters, you hear voices speaking, the first of which being a boy with hair as red as a rose and eyes a striking silver. “We’re done with orientation and dorm assignments? All right, new students - let me be clear. At Heartslabyul House, I am the law. Break the rules, and it’s off with your head!” 

The next to speak up is a dark-skinned boy with long, brown hair, sharp green eyes, and lion ears that occasionally twitch, proving their authenticity. It’s a bit odd, as you don’t quite know what he is, but he’s certainly not a Servant. He yawns, looking extremely done with everything. “Well, that ceremony was as boring as ever. I’m going back to the dorm. If you’re in Savanaclaw House, follow me.” 

“New students! Allow me to be the first to congratulate you on your achievement,” this comes from a boy with glasses, silvery hair and eyes, and a beauty mark near the bottom corner of his mouth. “As dorm leader of Octavinelle House, I am honored to have the opportunity to support you in what I hope will be a fulfilling campus experience.”

Another voice speaks up to address the group, the owner being a very handsome boy with lilac colored eyes and shiny, blonde hair with purple highlights. “Hey, does anyone know where the headmage went? He disappeared midway through the ceremony…”  He trails off.

Before any from your group can announce your presence, yet another voice chimes in. Though, when you look for the origin, you notice it comes from a floating tablet. “Some headmage he is.” 

“Maybe he had a tummyache?” Another boy with dark skin responds; he has short, white hair and ruby red eyes. 

Crowley finally pipes up, “I most certainly did not!”

“Ah, speak of the devil,” the first boy mutters once more.

Ignoring this, the headmage continues. “If you must know, I was searching for the new students who’d failed to show for orientation. You two are the only ones who have yet to be assigned to a dorm. Step up to the Dark Mirror, and be quick about it. I’ll watch your weasel.” 

Grim growls in response to this.

“Again, not mine, but whatever,” you mutter under your breath as you and Mash step up to the Dark Mirror. 

Mash goes first, gazing deep into the mirror as it sizes her up.

“State your name.” A face that looks more like a mask is present within the mirror, a scowl etched into its features. 

“I am Mash, Mash Kyrielight,” she states, clearly and confidently.

“Mash. The nature of your soul is… unclear to me.”

“What did you just say?” Crowley questions in bewilderment.

“Magic resides in her, this much is true. However, it does not suit this place. The sound of it, its color, and its shape are not any that I’ve bore witness to before. Therefore, no dorm would be appropriate.” 

Everything is silent for a moment, then the headmage gestures for you to take your place in front of the mirror.

“State your name,” the mirror states again.

“Y/F/N Y/L/N.”

“Y/F/N. The nature of your soul… is the same, it does not suit this place.”

Silence takes over once more, then Crowley asks, “Are you suggesting that the black carriage went to retrieve two people who are incompatible? But that is absurd! The student selection process has not erred once in its century of existence! How could this have happened?” He brings his hand up to his face curiously.

Grim struggles until he frees himself. “Mmmph! Nnnrgggh… ME! Let ME have this student’s seat!” 

The headmage glares at the small beast, “Not so fast, you hyperactive weasel!”

“Unlike those humans, I totally belong here! So let me be a student here!” Grim crosses his arms with a smirk. “Look, I’ll show you! My spells’re the cat’s meow!”

Almost as if sensing the coming chaos, the red haired boy shouts out in warning, “Everyone, get down!”

With what seems to be his best attempt at a roar, Grim unleashes a burst of blue flames within the room. Mash quickly covers you with her body, materializing into her Servant’s attire and manifesting her shield. 

The boy with red eyes begins to yell. “AHHHHH! HELP! I’m on fire over here!” He frantically hops about, his tail end smoking. You rush over to help pat out the flame. 

“Someone catch that blasted animal before it sets the entire school ablaze!” The headmage shouts out.

The boy with the lion ears sighs, “Ugh. Can I go now, or…?”

“Oh? I thought you fancied yourself a hunter. Go and help yourself to that plump little morsel!” The handsome boy raises a brow with a smirk.

“Too much effort. Do it yourself,” the lion eared boy immediately quips back.

“Allow me to handle this, Headmage Crowley. If none of you are up to the task of catching a small animal, I will accept the responsibility.” Magnanimously, the boy with the glasses offers.

“WTG Azul. Rackin’ up those participation credits,” the tablet sounds off.

The boy with the red eyes looks at you with a bright smile. “Ah! Thank you! You really saved me there!”

“I’m sorry, were my instructions unclear?!” Crowley exclaims, frustrated. 

Entirely uncaring, the green eyed boy responds, “Preeetty sure you can handle catching one mangy weasel all on your lonesome there, headmage.” 

  “How many times do I gotta say it? I’m Grim, spellcaster extraordinaire! I am NOT a weasel!” The offending creature continues to run his mouth, much to all of your chagrin. 

Azul chimes in, “Aren’t you a spunky little fellow? Riddle, would you be so kind…?”

“Furry miscreant. I will abide no rule-breaking. You will be judged by my hand.” 

Riddle and Azul begin to chase after the creature and you turn to look at Mash. “Mash, go and help them. I’ll stay and help out here!”

“Orders received, Master!” And with that, Mash runs off to aid the two mages in subduing the cat beast.