RavenStag

"Us? Oh, of *course* our Dachshund sleeps inside- we just let him out in the morning and make sure he comes back for dinner. He just does his own thing, no worries."

"Um, you know it's not humane to keep a chihuahua confined to an apartment? They're dogs, they're natural predators. They need to experience hunting behaviors or they get depressed. No we don't leash ours, he absolutely hates it, we just let him come and go whenever."

Yall get how fucking stupid that sounds, right? So stop letting your goddamn cats get eaten and attacked and infected and hit by cars

A toddler would probably love full unattended access to the neighborhood too, but we don't do that either, do we

because you’ve got the inside view. 

see, you see all your nasty thoughts as they pass by. you feel all those mean impulses; you catch every terrible thing you think about a friend, you have to watch yourself procrastinate on important stuff and be lazy when you feel like you should be working. you get front-row seats to all the awfulness that comes with being a person. and you only get that view of yourself, not of anyone else. so naturally, since you can’t see all the internal flaws in everyone else, it seems like they don’t have them–but you do. 

the secret is that everyone has those flaws. 

if being a good person is something you strive for–if you keep those nasty thoughts inside your head instead of directing them at other people, if you support your friends instead of pushing them down, if you try your best at what you do–then i promise you, you’re a good person. and even if you fail at that stuff sometimes, all it takes to be a good person is to keep trying. 

there’s nothing any more bad about you than there is about loads of other people. 

ask your friends if you’re a good person–when it comes to things like this, they probably see you more clearly than you do yourself. trust them. if they say ‘yes, of course’ then you’ll know you don’t have to worry. if they say no, you can ask them why, and then strive to change those things about yourself.

just remember that if it seems like everyone else is a better person than you, it’s only because you can’t see what’s happening inside them. trust me–everyone struggles to do the right thing sometimes. even steve.  

Source

Fiona is married so it's time to reunite with her parents. But instead of marrying a prince, she's married to an ogre. Not just that, but she's also an ogre. (Yes everyone knew she would sometimes be an ogre but that was when she was a child, she didn't know she would be an ogre for the rest of her life, and besides once she met the right prince she would stop being an ogre. She was supposed to stop being an ogre.)

But okay they're both ogres. We can still ask about when they'll have children because even if they're ogres they can still have kids, right? That's what married princes and princesses do so naturally that's what everyone does. Even if ogres might not be great parents (I've heard that ogres eat their young, is that something you people do?) it's still something that should be discussed.

And okay you can stay in Fiona's childhood bedroom filled with all the reminders that hey, everyone thought she was just a princess and princesses marry princes. Her toys left out from the last time she played with them. The prince slays the ogre. The princess offers a token of gratitude for slaying the ogre. Fiona wrote Mrs. Fiona Charming a million times in her diary because what else was she supposed to grow up to be?

And Harold you have to fix this, your country can't be ruled by ogres. You were unfit to rule when you were a frog but I changed you, I made you better, I made you a prince. You know how this works. Think of your daughter's safety.

robby needs to kiss dr abbot