NADIA STARK

steve took a swig of his beer and then grinned. "i think you playing nice for the day is the best birthday present i could ever ask for."

                     “Well, I can’t chew you out on your big day, that would just be wrong.” hazel green hues dance with amusement as she teases him.

    “Don’t worry though-” She adds, her tone equally teasing. “I’ll be sure to make up for it tomorrow and give you twice the amount of grief.”   quiet laughter bubbles from her throat, a grin spreading across her lips.

“Yeah, it’s only four in the morning. The night is young. Or morning. The morning is… old? Whatever, there’s still plenty of work time left, regardless of whatever time zone you live in,” he said, adjusting the ice pack on his head. “I’m fine, I’m not injured, I’m just… mildly bonked on the head, that’s all. Trust me, my stress headaches are always a lot worse than this.” Maybe that wasn’t the most reassuring thing he could have said to her right now. “I don’t feel like throwing up and there aren’t any black spots in my vision so I’m guessing I’m fine.

That laugh of hers… it was almost like she was siding with the robot. “I didn’t do anything, he wasn’t paying attention, as usual.” Tony sighed and admitted his failure. “I zigged and he zagged, that’s all. And he didn’t kick my ass. My ass is fine, thank you very much,” he said with a smile, knowing how uncomfortable that would make her and hopefully end this conversation about his mishap before he was forced to admit more wrongdoing. “I do talk to somebody. I talk to myself, every day,” he said proudly.

“Oh, no. I’m not telling you my secrets. That’s classified information.” He glanced at the computer and listened to her halfhearted chastisement of the paperwork that she supposedly hated doing so much. “Oh, come on, you love it,” he said playfully, but then his smile faded. He knew all too well her coping mechanisms because he shared them with her. Keeping busy was a way to keep away the bad thoughts, he knew. Hell, wasn’t that what he was doing right now by tinkering in his lab at four o’ clock in the morning? He was wired too. He knew exactly what it was like. 

“Something on your mind? Besides the paperwork, I mean?” Why he expected her to answer him when he has dodged her own attempt to let him talk about what was bothering him not a second earlier, he didn’t know. But just like she did, he teased her about it. “You tell your big brother all your troubles and I’ll beat them all up for you,” he said. “Yeah… I know what you mean. I’ve been wired all night.” In true Stark fashion, however, she deflected instead of answering his questions. As much as Tony knew she really didn’t want to talk about what was bothering her any more than he wanted to talk about his own issues, he cared enough to keep at it until he got an answer. Or at least give it a sporting good try. “No, no, no… I asked you first,” he said, not letting her off the hook.

A snort is all he gets at that, glancing from the laptop briefly to raise an eyebrow, smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. “ Sorry, is that supposed to make me worry less? “ hues roll, shaking her head in an amused manner, she knew better than to push the reasons for his stress, instead she tries a different tactic, albeit hesitantly. “ well, since i’m sticking around for a while, maybe you can find something for me that I can do to take some of that stress off your hands, you know, maybe keep them stress headaches to a minimum? “ 

Smirk turns into a grin. “ maybe give you and pepper some free time together. “ there’s a teasing note to her voice, intent on lightening the conversation, and maybe just a little distracting him from her deshevelled appearance and general jumpiness, she didn’t need or want him asking questions, because not only would he not like the answers, she didn’t want the argument that would come with it, for keeping her ordeal a secret, no, it was better this way, inadvertently protecting him, just like always. 

“And if I were still wrestling angry men covered in baby oil I might take you up on that,” Happy returned easily. The thing was, he might not be having a good time, but the dry banter and bribes were something he was more than familiar with. At first it had been odd, going from pay check to pay check living to a steady income that was considerably more than minimum wage: Happy had adjusted though. What he didn’t think he would ever get used to were the people who just lived in wealth. To be fair, he was pretty happy with his own financial situation right then. 

Some part of him, a big part, understood the distrust. Nadia had been through fuck knows what without Tony being there, and now she was in his life again, and he was having a civilian bodyguard trail her the same way he trailed Pepper Potts- as though Nadia Stark wasn’t practically a superhero herself. He had a brother, he knew what it was like to have someone have their nose where it had no right to be.

“How about, you tell me the floor you’re going to and I will wait at reception on that floor while you do whatever it is you need to,” he offered with a helpless shrug of his shoulders. Happy wouldn’t let Tony down, but he didn’t want to upset any Stark. Chewing the inside of his cheek, he finally gave one last push, “before you knock me out- because that is what it will take to get me to leave my post- why don’t you just tell me you’re going for coffee with a friend; if that was what you were doing, then Tony would never need to know anything and I could do some work on the computer at the front desk.”

She’s genuinely contemplating knocking him out. It’s a valid option she’d been somewhat contemplating in the back of mind as a last ditch effort to well, ditch him, and now it’s been spoken, she grins a little, a mischeivous glint to her eyes, much like the one her brother got, that said all he needed to know without her saying a word. He really shouldn’t have voiced that.

An amused smile and she glances away again, cupping the travel mug that contains the last of the coffee in her hands before bringing it up to her lips and taking a large swig, only futhering her earlier comment about having her brother’s kitchen of the substance. She mulls over what she’s to do about Happy before finally, moving the mug back to her side and glancing over at him, letting out a sigh. 

Hands still tremble as she taps at the keyboard experimentally, only half listening to the words he says, using her laptop as an excuse to calm herself. A sigh of relief leaves her lips at the confirmation spilling coffee on it had not fucked it up and she finally glances up at her brother, first thing she notices being the ice pack held to the side of his head and brows furrow as a mixture of confusion and amusement cross her features, lips twitching slightly at the sides. Of-course he was injured. Elbows rest on the table, arms in the air and chin rests on her hands as she stares at him. 

“  Tony, it’s- “ pauses, glancing down at the screen. “ 4am- I’ve not seen you at all in the past 24 hours because you’ve been hiding in that lab of yours doing- whatever it is you’re doing that ended up with you holding an ice pack to your head. “ she snorts, brows raising now. “ Wanna explain that? You know we’ve talked about you hitting yourself. “ she teases lightly. “ not given yourself a concusion have you? “ airy concern, head tilting as she watches him making the sandwhich, brushing off his personal issues with a joke, like he always did. Not that she could talk. At the mention of Dum-E, she let’s out a genuine laugh. 

“ He hit you? What’d you do? “ a cheerful grin. “ Remind me to high five that robot. “ she muses. “ He’s smart, certainly knows how to kick your ass, huh, iron man? “ she can’t help the amusement him getting hit by Dum-E and now holding an ice pack to his head causes her. “ Yeah- maybe you wanna, I dunno, talk to somebody about that? “ sarcasm laces her tone, hues rolling, not for lack of concern but knowing regardless of anything she said or did, he would continue any facade he had going. 

They were siblings afterall, they had the same coping mechanisms, the same habit of trying to hide from the other. Trying to protect eachother or some weird sense of not being weak, she wasn’t sure which, at-least for him anyway. For her it was both. Tony didn’t know what happened to her for a reason, she planned to keep it that away. 

“ Lil sis is sat right here waiting to hear all your problems. “ the teasing is heavy on that one. The banter just flowed naturally between the two, because well, conversation, what was that? Head shakes, humming sightly. “ No, thanks, not hungry. “ shrugs slightly, gaze falling back to the keyboard as she begins to type again, picking up where she left off. 

 “Yeah- couldn’t sleep, I dunno, couldn’t stop thinking about all this paperwork they’ve given me- “ she says that like it’s a burden, like she hadn’t begged to do somehing, like she hadn’t already completed everything they gave her once and asked for more. Anything to stop her from thinking. “ too much energy, not used to all this sitting around, been for a run, went to the gym earlier, but I was wired- “ probably because she’d drained his coffee- it’s not like she’d even tried sleep, not after the nightmares the previous night. she needed to move out, needed to go back to her flat, but a part of her liked being here- she rarely got to see her brother because she spent all her time working and they somehow managed to avoid crowding eachother- both doing there own thing- and she really didn’t want to be alone, not that she’d admit it.

          Rhodey called him to let him know that he had called Nadia, and Tony immediately knew he had fucked up. There was no point in calling her now, she would undoubtedly be on her way here to kick his ass. Tony knew he should have called her, he had thought about it a few times, even picked up the phone, before deciding against it. But he had been busy, and distracted, and that was a shit excuse that was only partially true.

          It was easier for him to be alone right now, he already had a hard enough time convincing Pepper that everything was fine. (Which it is, and he will continue to stand by that fact.) Tony had been on edge the past few weeks, on the edge of something big - between the pain and the nightmares, that he refused to acknowledge; building the suit and finding out more and more what he’s been blind to all these years…he’s just a bit tense.

          But Nadia was one of the few people he knew actually cared about him. He waited for her in his lab, easily losing track of time and falling completely into his work. JARVIS alerts him when she arrives, it takes the ai turning off his music to fully get his attention. Leaving the safety and comfort of his lab, he can already hear her as he walks into the room. He barely had time to brace himself before he had an armful of sister. Thankfully, he was able to hold in a pained grunt when the impact hit against the arc reactor.

“Ow!”  When she shoves him, he does let out a sound, but he’s able to keep a teasing tone to it, brushing it off with a chagrined smile.  “I know, I know! I’m sorry. Well - I stand by the Iron Man thing. That was the once good decision I made in all this mess.”

          He takes a firm hold of her shoulders, lowering his head a little to look her directly in the eyes.  “I’m sorry, Nadia. You’re right, I should have called you. I’ve been…distracted, but that’s not an excuse.”

There’s moisture gathering in her eyes, a lump gathering in her throat she tries to push down, her hands are trembling at her sides and the relief that he’s alive and he’s here and he’s okay is just a little too much. It had been weeks of worrying, of fearing the worst, of people telling her to just give up. Like she would ever be able to give up on him. The only thing that had kept her going had been pepper and rhodey and the mutual worry. Tony was her only family, that much was true but there were people who cared about him just as much, who cared about her enough to keep her in the loop, to give her that little bit of strength to keep going. 

The high-pitched ring in her voice as she yelled at him always brought him great joy, and that was no different while lying in the bed arguably immobile. His eyes remained focused on the red scene that he had created while he listened to her scramble for anything absorbent, and much to his relief, she was there in seconds putting pressure to his arm with a napkin.

“Sure hope that wasn’t used. Add infection to the list.”

His voice reeked of sarcasm as his eyes lifted to meet hers, and if he wasn’t so numb on the inside, he probably would have displayed that smirk that always seemed to make people even more irritable. Even if he was at his best, however, he couldn’t deny the fact that Pepper needed a break from all of the chaos. He had felt guilty for a while, but as time passed on, that’s kind of what she signed up for when she chose to spend a life with him. He wouldn’t know what to do without her, but he needed to make a mental note to teach her how to move on without him just in case.

He inhaled slowly, eyes threatening to roll either from the annoyance or the sheer fact that something had been in that IV that made his lids droop.

“That time technically wasn’t my fault. I just hadn’t figured out how to navigate this yet.” He moved his index finger in a circular motion over his chest. “You should be thanking me that you weren’t there. Pepper would be jealous. She had to stick her hand inside and play Operation.”

Tony shifted the best he could, but whether he would admit it or not, his body felt like it was struggling. Maybe it was where he lacked the basic nourishment and self-care, or maybe it was because of how he mentally flipped a switch so everything was turned off. Even so, he was on the verge of feeling something upon noting the undeniable shift in the atmosphere. For what seemed like the first time in his life, his lips remained sealed as he was all ears on her. He was one who lived by the whole ‘do now, think later’ thing, and unfortunately, she made a valid point.

His eyes left hers and focused on the bar at the end of the bed; it was uninteresting, but it was better than holding eye contact because he hated it.

“Trust me, if you knew, you’d know why I didn’t think twice about ripping myself apart.”

His voice was softer, but stern. He felt his jaw clench, but it didn’t stay like that for long before he spoke again.

“Did I make my point, though?” His eyes shifted back to hers. “Because if I didn’t, it was all for nothing. Give me something here.”

Perhaps the words could have been sensed as playful, but his tone remained the same. He couldn’t bear the fact that his grand entrance back to Earth wasn’t something successful and memorable.

“You think I’m reckless and off the wall, and maybe I am, but for good reason. No one’s going to get anywhere if you don’t take these risks, and I still lost.”

Those were words that Tony never wanted to hear come out of his mouth. Although it wasn’t the first time he had been defeated, this served as the one time he didn’t see a return.

“That was it; our one-way ticket. Gone. Zip. Na-da.”

He felt his head sink into the pillow behind him as the heaviness clouded his mind. He knew that if he began swimming in the ocean of his regrets, he would sink with weights tied to his ankles.

She says nothing but her gaze flicks to his instantly, conveying just how not funny she found him but it wasn’t just her usual irritation at his stupid jokes and sarcastic nature, at his inability to be serious anout anything, it was the concern lingering on the surface that he’d hit self destruct, that he might do something stupid to prove himself and get himself killed, and that thought terrified her, drove her every expression, every moment into a schooled expression of disapproval. 

“ You kept it from me, you kept it from everyone. “ her voice is perfectly even, but there’s an underlying tension to her tone that dares him to argue with her futher. She was so sick of this all mighty bullcrap, she might lose her mind if he continued with this line of thought any futher. Why couldn’t he just let someone help him for once? “ We could have helped you if you’d only stop being so stubborn for five minutes. “ 

She releases a breath, glancing away from him and leaning back in the chair, she notices the way he carefully shifts his body, but knows better than to react, knows he’ll only refuse any help or any pain relief they might be able to give, she just hopes whatever was in the drip, had enough time to work before he pulled it out, that it might bring him some small amount of comfort.