Ratla @ratlovera - Tumblr Blog

he deserved a better reference sheet

#furry #my art #gwizdo #dragon hunters #chasseurs de dragons #reference sheet

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rabbitkinglune777

makes me sad that most YouTube art videos are about "how to make your ocs interesting", "how to grow your account in social media", "how to not make mary sues" like what happened to just drawing for fun and sharing it- oh wait I forgot this is the result of lolcowing people for their technical art skills and or clout related things.

rabbitkinglune777

we are in an era where people openly and harshly judge people's creative output because of the normalization of having a "freak" of the week. it makes me sad cuz as artists we should be having fun, not treating social media like an art competition or forcing our art to be "perfect" and digestible.

rabbitkinglune777

another thing is the constant need to market yourself and assimilate into a squeaky clean brand via treating social media like full time job rather than hobby you put your art on and occasionally get paid for. it's not a moral failing but I swear it's another form of art being controlled and governed by capitalism.

mmyea

#my art #furry

ratlovera

i dont use tiktok at all but some of my friends showed me some kinds of video edits with their favorite characters in it

so i made this as a response

enjoy

ratlovera

I FORGOT I MADE THIS WITH A 4LUNG TRACK OHGHNDGH I HAD A GALAXY BRAIN BACK THEN

emilicorail

What the hell

emilicorail

clients love them

ratlovera

... clients love them

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emilicorail

He's holding him like a baby

emilicorail

Comment ne pas aimer leur duo ?

luliqwq

Hello! I have open commissions on my Vgen!!! If you commission me there and you tell me you come from my Tumblr I'll do you a free painted sketch of two character (max)!!

Thank you so much for your consideration 🫂!

tropicoflove

#you cant do this to me

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ratlovera

Visit Original Link

isdmfjh i am so extremely amused by this track im making for a friend

ratlovera

the bass from the second half of the arrangement is destroying me and then the fucking MIDI SAX AND BRASS COME IN AND I CHOKE

Visit Original Link

isdmfjh i am so extremely amused by this track im making for a friend

#my music

ratlovera

decided to go back online to scream to the ether about how not fine I am this time lmao, so today somehow a thought has manifested in my head for absolutely no reason, it was "what if I'm plural" which I think must be very common in most traumatized neurodivergent peps just going through their day, like it's something that just happens kinda sometimes I guess. imagine my fucking surprise after my body seemingly just freezes in time as I stop doing what I was doing (which was miserable work I'll talk about later) and then something resembling a divorsing couple fight starts happening inside my fucking brain, like an actual dialogue, couldn't place a "that's me" on either of these, but I remember the first opinion that came here was immediate denial, but with an extremely terrified and unaccepting attitude, it just screamed that I don't have this, I don't need to have this, this doesn't have to be real if I choose not to believe it. and the other one was just so. angry. extremely mad that it never gets any attention and "I" never take care of it. and so i just kinda sat on the floor staring into nothing trying my best to process what the fuck was that about, and in a few moments all i could figure out was "oh shit was that ratla and gwizdo fighting who wins out an opinion" and it made me actually cringe in real life which is an emotion I pretty much never feel cus I like to think I'm immune to that at this point, but GOD it was SO uncomfortable in the moment

okay so for a few years I was only joking about gwizdo living in my head rent free for 8+years, he was occupying the "main character I'm hyperfixated on currently" spot in the brain, and I actually didn't know any specific reasons why I fell for him in particular, only a year or two ago I very heavily connected with his role/occupation/life challenges in his universe and not just him being, uh, cute i guess, but after today, is it even possible to materialize an actual alter identity in your mind just by attaching yourself to a character too much oooor was the alter always there and then chose to represent itself as gwizdo as I imagine him in my mind, not the actual canon character

like what the fuck is happening, what is this, I don't want this??? I'm already soooo over dealing with my other mental health issues, like I seriously thought I got myself totally sorted out especially now when I'm in a very stable living situation again after 7 years of pure survival mode, AND YET, there are still layers of unresolved issues apparently, now with a barking chihuahua for good measure, thanks

(that being said, I'm still in denial and will try to ignore this fuckery as hard as I can because I really really really don't want this. but I'm writing this because the dog is crying and i feel like I have to. sorry)

ratlovera

oh fuck okay I forgot I wanted to talk about what "miserable work" I was doing that make my head crack like this lol,

after breaking up with my ex, I think(?) I was taken advantage of by him basically forcing me to create a fursuit head for him JUST SO I get to keep my work computer where I do 95% of my job, which he paid for 4+ years ago voluntarily by his own choice, and so I have to eat that shit now.

and so I've been making this head for like a month and a half straight, trying to get this over with QUICKLY, but of course it takes forever because even though I have to do this for a person I'd now consider "an asshole" minimum, it's still my work and I like to do it well

and welp what might've happened today, after a very long time of more social isolation and terrible overworking on my part, the dog in my head (normally I would consider myself a rat if you didn't notice btw) just started being louder and louder and being super fucking mad that I even agreed to do this in the first place, just, such hard fucking work for a straight zero, got myself bruised and bloodied and cut and burned for NOTHING plus taking terrible care of myself and my relationships just made the past 30 days especially miserable and that's why he decided to jump at me and criticize my actions. as one should

ratlovera

it is also entirely possible that these experiences have nothing or very little to do with my identity being dissociated even if that might sound super compelling and truthful to some part of me, because it is also very likely that I've just fucked myself up with thc and other less horrible shit that I'm just straight up developing delusions or psychosis of some sort, but I don't even want to give those options any attention or I'll just die before I make any progress

at least my new album will bang

ratlovera

I just read this again and i want to give myself credit for how well i managed to put this to words and also I was right but I'm not mad anymore, I think I'm very okay with myself rn. i love gwizdo

ratlovera

decided to go back online to scream to the ether about how not fine I am this time lmao, so today somehow a thought has manifested in my head for absolutely no reason, it was "what if I'm plural" which I think must be very common in most traumatized neurodivergent peps just going through their day, like it's something that just happens kinda sometimes I guess. imagine my fucking surprise after my body seemingly just freezes in time as I stop doing what I was doing (which was miserable work I'll talk about later) and then something resembling a divorsing couple fight starts happening inside my fucking brain, like an actual dialogue, couldn't place a "that's me" on either of these, but I remember the first opinion that came here was immediate denial, but with an extremely terrified and unaccepting attitude, it just screamed that I don't have this, I don't need to have this, this doesn't have to be real if I choose not to believe it. and the other one was just so. angry. extremely mad that it never gets any attention and "I" never take care of it. and so i just kinda sat on the floor staring into nothing trying my best to process what the fuck was that about, and in a few moments all i could figure out was "oh shit was that ratla and gwizdo fighting who wins out an opinion" and it made me actually cringe in real life which is an emotion I pretty much never feel cus I like to think I'm immune to that at this point, but GOD it was SO uncomfortable in the moment

okay so for a few years I was only joking about gwizdo living in my head rent free for 8+years, he was occupying the "main character I'm hyperfixated on currently" spot in the brain, and I actually didn't know any specific reasons why I fell for him in particular, only a year or two ago I very heavily connected with his role/occupation/life challenges in his universe and not just him being, uh, cute i guess, but after today, is it even possible to materialize an actual alter identity in your mind just by attaching yourself to a character too much oooor was the alter always there and then chose to represent itself as gwizdo as I imagine him in my mind, not the actual canon character

like what the fuck is happening, what is this, I don't want this??? I'm already soooo over dealing with my other mental health issues, like I seriously thought I got myself totally sorted out especially now when I'm in a very stable living situation again after 7 years of pure survival mode, AND YET, there are still layers of unresolved issues apparently, now with a barking chihuahua for good measure, thanks

(that being said, I'm still in denial and will try to ignore this fuckery as hard as I can because I really really really don't want this. but I'm writing this because the dog is crying and i feel like I have to. sorry)

ratlovera

oh fuck okay I forgot I wanted to talk about what "miserable work" I was doing that make my head crack like this lol,

after breaking up with my ex, I think(?) I was taken advantage of by him basically forcing me to create a fursuit head for him JUST SO I get to keep my work computer where I do 95% of my job, which he paid for 4+ years ago voluntarily by his own choice, and so I have to eat that shit now.

and so I've been making this head for like a month and a half straight, trying to get this over with QUICKLY, but of course it takes forever because even though I have to do this for a person I'd now consider "an asshole" minimum, it's still my work and I like to do it well

and welp what might've happened today, after a very long time of more social isolation and terrible overworking on my part, the dog in my head (normally I would consider myself a rat if you didn't notice btw) just started being louder and louder and being super fucking mad that I even agreed to do this in the first place, just, such hard fucking work for a straight zero, got myself bruised and bloodied and cut and burned for NOTHING plus taking terrible care of myself and my relationships just made the past 30 days especially miserable and that's why he decided to jump at me and criticize my actions. as one should

ratlovera

it is also entirely possible that these experiences have nothing or very little to do with my identity being dissociated even if that might sound super compelling and truthful to some part of me, because it is also very likely that I've just fucked myself up with thc and other less horrible shit that I'm just straight up developing delusions or psychosis of some sort, but I don't even want to give those options any attention or I'll just die before I make any progress

at least my new album will bang

mousegirlheart

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Anya is LIVE right now

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me

i love you., my friend

#my art #furry #ratla #gwizdo #fursonas

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