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@ratlombot2

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UNDERTSTANDING HOW CRUSHES WORK!
By
Ross E F Lombardi .
FUCKING CRUSHES! They are not magical They are not mystical They are just the brain being lazy. There is a reason most people have ‘a type’. .
TRY THIS! Make a list of all the similarities good and bad between your present crush and the all the last emotionally charged relationships you ever had. It does not matter whether the relationship was good or bad, only that is was emotionally charged, In fact, past toxic relationships get double points when you make you similarity with your present crush list!
Dull or less emotionally powerful experience barely count at all! - IF at all! – Even if those experience are good positive ones!
The brain is lazy and the whole human body is designed to reduce any resource use.
.
When you have a series of strong emotional experiences, especially the bad ones, it creates mental pathways, not unlike Pavlov dog conditioning.
Carving these hormone trenches is a heavy expensive business and gets ever more expensive the older you get.
When your brain is seeking a new partner, to keep trigging its addictive endorphin love fix.
It COULD (but it won’t) look for a more suitable partner – One that is logically good for you.
Creating new pathways from scratch, using a load of new resources…
OR As it has all these unused pattern pathways that are already well trodden and kinda just sitting there but not being used,
INSTEAD,
It could just recycle the old pathways and slap a different person’s name on the label.
And guess which way is easier?
Guess which one saves resources?
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You hindbrain will just shrug its shoulders and say,
“I mean, I do happen have all these perfectly usable ready-made paths just lying around,”
“It seems a shame, just to waste them!”
“Why bother making any new ones?”
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Your hindbrain does not give two shits if you make the same mistakes over and over again,
Just as long as it can generate its internal chemical love potion fix with the minimum of effort!
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So, you develop “a type”.
You find yourself attracted NOT the person that IS actually There,
But instead, you are secretly attracted to all the similarities to past romantic experiences that you imagine THIS person has!
.
Same hair colour? Same eye colour? Same curly hair?
You want to know my physical type?
Look at a photo of my ex-wife of 30 years!
Want to know my romantic personality type,
Learn how all the large overflow ducts were carved into my mind, from the people that have affected me the most!
Same feelings of being unworthy of them? Perhaps? Let’s tick that box!
Similar education level?
Same tilt of the head?
Are they condescending while at the same time seeming both patent and understanding? Let’s tick that box to!
BINGO!
Yep, sounds like most of my entire past love life to me!
It all adds up,
And like a flow of water the little electrical pulses take the path of least resistance, making those same tired, well-worn, brain gutters even slightly deeper and easier to use again for next time.
.
Tick all the right boxes and guess what!
YOU WON A BRAND NEW CRUSH!
A crush that you never wanted! – Slapped together clumsily from reused broken parts in a new bullshit packaging claiming, “New and improved”
No magic! Nothing mystical! Just that crappy brain of ours being lazy. – Again!
.
Understand THIS!
We humans are NOT divine!
We were never divine!
We are just yet another beast species with self-deluding gimmicks!
All hormones, and basic instinct with shitty masks of intellectual justification and thin veils of self-licencing.
.
So, if you have a stupid crush?
But - Surely knowledge is power? Right?
How does knowing this help?
Sadly, it doesn’t!
You can’t fight biology!
Mother nature always wins!
And to her – Mother Nature - You are just another one of her mere dumb, disposable beast. – No different from any wolf, cow, otter or pig.
.
So, when I get a crush,
Despite knowing stuff! – It wont matter!
It WILL STILL feel magical, It WILL STILL feel mystical,
And it Still WON’T be!
I know this shit!
Yet, I will STILL feel helpless, and silly, and giddy, and be epically stupid beyond all rational reason!
.
Because us all humans are dumb arses.
And I am stuck being human.
Therefor, despite knowing the science, I am just as stupid about this crap as everyone else!
But I am unfortunately get to also be smart enough to know that I am being stupid,
So, I get to beat the crap out of myself for being a dumb ass!
.
Your only hope is to “wait it out”.
Wait for you stupid ‘drug pusher’ mind to eventually realise that its attempt to ‘get you addicted’, is not worth the effort!
As you emotional heart, acts like a crack addict whore, begging for its craved love hormone drug fix!
“Just one more glance!”
“Just one more conversation” – “Just enough ‘bad medicine’ to take the edge off!
“I wont ever ask you again! Honest”
Your heart begs and lies,
And meanwhile you brain moans and whispers,
“Dude! Come on Man!”
“Stop make me work so hard to get my product to my junkie hooker!”
Yep! - Your only hope is to “wait it out”.
And while you wait YOU WILL Suffer!
And dream of “Them”
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Being human sucks!
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THE FICITIONAL FANTASY ‘PIT FIGHTER’ WARRIOR, THE MAGIC POTION
RANTS! PRO: Humanity, Empathy, Against: ALL bigotry! PLUS: Geek Stuff, Stupid Puns! And Humour to make You Both Giggle AND Think!
. While I'm sure sending me death threats might feel good To be effective Yeh going to have to find a way to make me enjoy living First -If you want me to be scared of dying ! ...And I'm a lonely, unlovable, undateable over 50's DWP bedsit-land total loser with no future, terrified of surviving to spending each Christmas alone again, waking up with mental health issue nightmares most nights, disposable fat bloke.
!
I am nothing!
!
Have nothing!
!
Worth nothing! !
- So...? Make me enjoy living first...? If you can! HA! Can't be done...! . Good luck with that one.
.
Baiting violent people like you IS my suicide plan...
...Because I want My death to ruin Your life...
.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
.
Women have the divine goddess aspects,
Mother, Maiden, Crone,
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While Men only get to have the shitty demonic aspects of...
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The "can't be arsed to do fuck all, at all, ever" so-called 'Father'
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The Petulant Adult Whiny Toddler Tantrum Dangerously Violent Man-child.
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and
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The Dirty, "Leering Creeperly At Those They Shouldn't", Gross Old Man
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Title:
"Snowflake has found His sunny spot"
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Size A3
Oil pastels on paper.
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Original will be donated to a local Animal charity shop.
Though I will make copies to order from this photo.
Painted Shorts
#fashion
#homemadefashion
#short
#handmadepainted
#handmade
#oldclothes
I WAS going to start "project eclipse" in August.
Where I give up on everything and everyone and just spend the rest of my life, ignoring social issues, playing vid games and watching TV, waiting to die of old age.... Not aspiring to do anything or be anything.
Just another DWP mental health vegetable waiting to rot, unwashed in my grubby, tapped up, couch.
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No more writing
.
No more art
.
BUT
There IS that "hail Mary pass" official tees valley poet thang...
A last Very unlikely throw of the dice...
...to be anything other than just another skutter podgy old bloke in a bedsit...
So,
I will fill out that application tomorrow afternoon.
Send it in.
And THEN WHEN I DO get rejected for THAT.
THEN I can do "project eclipse" and give up on everything and everyone.
.
THEN, after it is certain, for sure, that I am a true proper failure, I can isolate myself from the entire world, stop trying to go out and stop trying to have a life.
Quit
Grow old alone
Then eventually die.
... I am tired... Trying is hard... Caring is hard... Hoping is hard... and it hurts... I just want to give up on the world now... All the suffering I put myself through, by caring in the world, is not going to change anything, make any difference or help anyone... Why should I needlessly suffer when I can rest instead... and do things like watch all the Gilmore Girls plus the reboot instead... I can't single-handedly stop the far right, help gay equality or even save or help myself... I'm tired and want to stop forever and just play Fallout 4 for the rest of my days instead. I am fed up with pushing and working and researching so hard and THEN STILL feeling that I have not done enough, as if the last domestic abuse murder on the news was somehow my fault because I dared to get some sleep or was weak and had a coffee break. I don't want to carry this weight all the time. It is too heavy, and it is not fair to ask myself to, - So why shouldn't I commit to "Project Eclipse"??
. A Woman is not being 'too difficult', She is just being as difficult as any man. . It is, as if, men are allowed to be 80% difficult, stubborn or ruthless. But women are only allowed to be 60% difficult, stubborn or ruthless. Instead of both being allowed to be 100% human. . A man is not being 'too emotional'. He is just being as emotional as any woman. It is, as if, women are allowed to be 60% emotional, gentle and caring or broken hearted. But men are only allowed to be 40% emotional, gentle and caring or broken hearted. Instead of both being allowed to be 100% human. . Maybe the world would be slightly better for everyone. If everyone was allowed to just be 100% themselves. Instead of some bullshit inherited list of gender expectations. . Well I am a man. But more importantly I am foremost 100% human. I Do feel stuff. And I am allowed to feel stuff as deeply and as long as I need to. . I do not owe anyone "more manly", "tougher" "less emotional" or any "macho violent" behaviour. I owe none of you anything. . The fact that I happen to have a dick and that I am sexually attracted to women does NOT define "me". . I will not play the rolls that any of you lot allocate for me. I will long for romantic love not desperately seek bed post notches. I will be against base brutality not glamorouise it. I will be an artist and a healer not a warrior. . I will neither be the 'sleezy sexual hunter' enemy you need - nor the 'blood soaked' hero you think you want. . I will only be "me". And only I get to decide who that is! No grotesque lies behind my back changes that. . You can claim all you want that the sun is made of lemon ice cream - but it still won't make it true - no matter how many people believe you. . I am "me" Deal with it or fuck off! .

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
'IF' I ever call a woman a Bitch
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'IF' I ever call a woman a Bitch
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Then I mean it as a compliment
As for me: Nothing is more ugly than weakness
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In the same vain I am happy to be called a
"Son of a bitch"
Because my mum Jackie was no wussy pushover.
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I spent nearly 30 years romanticly grafted on to a wet noodle.
Stuck attached to a woman with all the moral courage of a constantly frightened pigeon.
To a -
"but - what will the neighbours think?"
- snobby personality.
To a lass that folds like a wet tissue paper bag rather than ever dare question authority or anyone in an official uniform.
To a mentally of a tiny girl in a schoolyard constantly looking for the teachers approval.
A sickening 'god slave' conformist that cares more about only appearing to do what is right - instead of ever risking to actually Do what is right.
Would never call my ex wife (Susan Chapman of Redcar) a "Bitch".
A "weak shitty little civil servant bootlicker", yes.
A "a mean dry shriveled husk of soul" perhaps.
But I'd never call her a Bitch.
As an emotional wimp never deserves such a high praising accolade.
.
So
Trust me.
If you are a woman,
and I call you a bitch.
Then it means that your inner strength and fierceness makes you as beautiful as an incoming dark storm of retribution on sea cliff edge.
Flashes of lightneing in your eyes.
It means I see you as strong, powerful, and someone well worth knowing.
It means I see you as a warrioress!
It means I'm in real danger of falling for you.
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Forget killer bods, bit tits, slinky dresses, and a pound of facial makeup.
Instead,
Show me your ethics, your social justice rage and passion for empathy.
- Instead,
Show me your inner Bitch.
.
Let that female canine of her soul howl and growl and mark me as hers.
Let Luna's long shadow fall upon me as a warm cloke of loving she-wolf fur on a icy crisp dark winter hunters night.
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Someone to fight with for the rest of my life,
BUT - NOT against eachother...
Instead, back to back, United.
Me and Her Vs the rest of the entire world!
.
Weakness IS ugly!
Beauty IS strength!
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Keep your dull trad wives.
(Yawn)
Give me teeth dripping with the blood of our enemies!
Give me the dark side of a full red moon.
Show me your inner power!
.
Give me a Real woman!
Remind me what real love feels like again.
.
Give me The Bitch,
of All Bitches,
In Heat!
.
Never Forget The main thing… …Best at Is violence and murder!
Pain Farmers
By Ross e f Lombardi.
- By Ross e f Lombardi.
Pain Farmers - By Ross e f Lombardi. . Well... I'm over 50. There goes my marriage. That didn't work. Just stonewalling, left feeling useless. Left eating dirt. . The harvesters say Tired of being alone? Times are different today. Try our online dating! Let us show you how! . Well... Ok... That didn't work. Just spending money, left feeling lonely. - Left feeling hurt. . More harvesters claim. Tired of the usual dating sites? Ours is different... - ...Honest! Let's show you how! . Well... Crap... That didn't work. Just spending cash, Still left feeling lonely. - Still Left feeling burnt. . Harvesters are... Making Him scared to grow old. Times have changed today. But She says that she is different. And wants to show you how! . Well... Hot Dam! That didn't even work a bit! Spending credit, Being used. - Left eating shit. . Harvesters are benefiting.. From Her being frightened to walk home. World is scary today. But he says that he is different. And wants to show you how! . Well... Hell... That didn't work. Just danger over there! She is left feeling worried. So instead of 'man', - of course she chooses 'bear'. . Yet more money harvesters! Tired of being alone? Times are so Difficult today. But! - Don't give up on love just yet! Our paid meeting groups DO work! Let us show you how! . Well... For fucks sake... These harvesters just Use us! STILL left being Left knowing That we Are - So very useless. . For you see, The harvesters just harvest. That is what they do. But there is still The warm sun The lovely moon The fresh smelling sky - But - There is still You! . So what... There Was once love in your life! One great love is enough! That moment has past. There are... Good Books Nice food Fun times - music. - Good things never last . Well... Roll up those sleeves. Make it work. Different life phase, Changed season Another time, You are still your own - Very valid reason. . So, Stop looking forward, - to go backwards. Instead evolve. - towards a different kind of life. So, Screw all those Harvesters of sorrow! . No more dating. Be moving on. That bit is over. That part is gone.. . Move on alone Be happy. - Teach Yourself how This time to quit?... ...love life? That time? Well... ...That time! - IS Now.
.
.
NOTE!
Pain Farmers - By Ross e f Lombardi. (Under 100 line breaks date-site comment troll edit heavily reduced version. So DO please feel free to cut'N-paste to any and all Fartbook dating page comments!) . Well... I'm over 50. There goes my marriage. That didn't work. Just stonewalling, left feeling useless. Left eating dirt. . The harvesters say Tired of being alone? Times are different today. Try our online dating! Let us show you how! . Well... Ok... That didn't work. Just spending money, left feeling lonely. - Left feeling hurt. . More harvesters claim. Tired of the usual dating sites? Ours is different... - ...Honest! Let's show you how! . Well... Crap... That didn't work. Just spending cash, Still left feeling lonely. - Still Left feeling burnt. . Well... Hot Dam! That didn't even work a bit! Spending credit, Being used. - Left eating shit. . . Yet more money harvesters! Tired of being alone? Times are so Difficult today. But! - Don't give up on love just yet! Our paid meeting groups DO work! Let us show you how! . Well... For fucks sake... These harvesters just Use us! STILL left being Left knowing That we Are - So very useless. . For you see, The harvesters just harvest. That is what they do. But there is still The warm sun The lovely moon The fresh smelling sky - But - There is still You! . So what... There Was once love in your life! One great love is enough! That moment has past. There are... Good Books Nice food Fun times - music. - Good things never last . Well... Roll up those sleeves. Make it work. Different life phase, Changed season Another time, You are still your own - Very valid reason. . So, Stop looking forward, - to go backwards. Instead evolve. - towards a different kind of life. So, Screw all those Harvesters of sorrow! . No more dating. Be moving on. That bit is over. That part is gone.. . Move on alone Be happy. - Teach Yourself how This time to quit?... ...love life? That time? Well... ...That time! - IS Now.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
A Painting Film . . Title: PAIN-SCAPE . Size A3 . Acylic on canvas .
. Title: PAIN-SCAPE . Size A3 . Acylic on canvas . (Paint still wet at the time the photo was taken) .