RATED-AHRT

Carousel of memories, It kept on revolving so vast. That made my visions blurry, Absquatulated in the past.

We were at both ends, So far I couldn't reach thee. Constantly wishing for our— Bodies to meet its propinquity.

I continued to wait, Bore all excruciating pain. Of such a strong desire, For us to soon transpire.

The carousel per se, Is a vicious cycle of "almost"s. If I could trade my tomorrows, For a moment of yesterday. Without hesitation, I'd do it. Because we "almost" had it.

Words: Juxtaposition by Bowee Collantes (@collantesbowee)

The memories we share, Is what stifles me to sleep. Because it still hurts so much, The wounds are that deep.

You don't belong here, You reside in my distant past. Cease appearing in my head, Even if you stay it won't last.

Exhausted in trying— To forget us, yet I always fail. I was attached like a shadow, Which explains why I'm frail.

Begging on my knees, Stop me of hearing your name. It revolves around my mind, Stuck to when you were still— Mine.

                                                  Art by Tim O'Brien

Music has greatly evolved generation after generation, the process of writing remain similar. But, how about the composition of music? In the viewpoint of today’s music culture, songs are written, sounds are produced and put together mainly to express thoughts, feelings, and ideas onto an enthralling, paperless avenue. Captivating the audience has never been so easy and difficult at the same time, especially when there’s a world wide web in existence to help promote one’s work of art all around the globe. Musical savant, Wolfgang Mozart, and the rest who lived hundreds of years ago, never had this technological advantage. How we listen to his music today is completely different from how people of his generation heard it. Back then, fame was hard-earned. Their own compositions were not easily known, unless one would go on a tour, presenting in front of royalty or the archbishop, and eventually get noticed by the greater public. To get noticed at a larger scale meant realizing what kind of music various audiences leaned to, what languages they wanted music to be written in, which stories to adapt, and other factors that have gravely affected the artistry and the process of music composition in the century Mozart lived in. 

In Peter Brown’s “Amadeus” and Mozart: Setting the Record Straight, he mentions how, in the eighteenth century, the prerequisites of being a composer was “the craftsmanship and the ability to provide new music appropriate to an occasion.” When we listen to his compositions today, we hear a different sound, and instantly compare or associate it to something of born of this generation’s standard. Back then, they didn’t just appreciate the sound. The music always had to be appropriate for the occasion. It was strict, yes, but that’s where Mozart’s renowned skills come in, working around what is considered to be “appropriate” by society at the time, and putting his own touch to the sounds the audience will surely find astounding and different. Was Mozart’s personality really adapted into his music? I think not. Although a musician  is said to give away a piece of himself in every artwork, it may not always reflect their personality. In Mozart’s case, his  artistic products were not complete reflections of his personality, but rather, a reaction and reflection of the period he lived in—what kind of audiences he played for, what these audiences’ taste was when it comes to art, and what kind of culture he was immersed in. An example of an inconsistency in the portrayal of Mozart in a film biography, it was heavily implied that the composition he wrote for the man in the Janus-faced black mask was in memory of his deceased father. But in reality, there was no basis for such thing. He simply wrote it because of the money it paid.

Blue Valentine goes back and forth in the course of Dean (Ryan Gosling) and Cindy’s (Michelle Willams) relationship throughout the years. Dean is a high school dropout working at a moving company when he meets Cindy at her grandmother’s nursing home. The two eventually date and, soon, Cindy finds out that she is pregnant with her ex-boyfriend’s child. Unable to continue with the abortion, Dean tells her that he does not mind that the child is not his, as he would like to start a family with her. Dean is beat up by Cindy’s ex-boyfriend after this discovery. Five years later, they are living in a rural Pennsylvania home with their child, Frankie (Faith Wladyka) while Dean works at painting houses and Cindy as a nurse at a doctor’s office. Their relationship is souring and is not as colorful as it was so Dean decides to take Cindy to a motel to rekindle their romance but the two end up in a fight. After a bad confrontation at the doctor’s office where Cindy is working, Cindy decides to ask for “a little space” from Dean, which ends with him walking away from their home and their child running after him.

From the unrequited and non-reciprocating affection, to the greying and disintegration of a seemingly picturesque portrayal of young love, Derek Cianfrance’s Blue Valentine takes its audience’s hearts out and rips them into a tiny million pieces. It’s painfully beautiful yet honest and true. Stephen Whitty perfectly sums up what watching it feels like—like coming back from that final session with the divorce lawyers and making yourself watch your wedding video to reminisce on a relationship that was bound to end. A lot of films of similar genre have been done in the past but unlike Blue Valentine, fails to deliver a story as emotionally poignant and veracious as Derek Cianfrance’s masterpiece.

The constant shifting, and back and forth cross-cutting of scenes in Dean and Cindy’s relationship gives the film a much more authentic feel. This, I believe is a strength of Blue Valentine because although romance movies in the past have made use of this technique, Blue Valentine perfectly fits into the mould. This technique aptly portrays love’s fleeting nature—that it isn’t always as romantic and perfect as most love stories would depict. The film also heavily uses still shots of minimal movements and more conversations. The very warm and blue color grading of the film perfectly captures not just the title of Blue Valentine, but also the story of Dean and Cindy.

"Life has a gap in it... It just does. You don't go crazy trying to fill it."

"The body does whatever it wants. I am not my body; I am my mind."

"I needed you to stay, but I let you drift away."

"Listen, if you’re going to leave, that’s fine. and I know you promised you wouldn’t seven months ago while I was crying into your neck but I also know that sometimes it rains even when it’s not supposed to and sometimes boys kiss girls they shouldn’t and we tear flowers out of the ground just to watch them die and things change, so I understand if you’re done, but please, when you’re packing all your old sweaters and books, don’t forget to take all your three AM phone calls, and photographs where we’re smiling so wide it looks like we’ve never known that feeling in the pit of your stomach when someone screams “I don’t love you anymore.” Take back every kiss, every night you fell asleep next to me, every poem I wrote you, every song you sang to me, every “I love you more fight,” every shock I felt in my skin when you brushed against me. I was never scared of ghosts until you left but now I see you everywhere and god if you’re going to kill me please just do it quickly because I see you in everything and it’s making it hard to breathe" — I won’t say I miss you but I think my mother knows anyway

"Do you love me?" I ask. In your hesitation I found my answer.”

"Heartbreak will tear you to shreds and shatter every piece of your being, but you’ll come out of it alive, you just have to believe you will."

“I guess in some people's lives, no one tells you what to be, and so you be nothing.”

"You say my name like there could be an us."

"I say I’m over you, yet I still constantly search for things that remind me of us."

"I am a mess, I am not easy, I am all over the place, but if you ever try to connect these dots, it makes a beautiful constellation."

"The most tragic death you will ever mourn is that of your own youth."

"I never knew I could fall in love with words until I heard them come from you."

"The reason why we can't seem to let go of someone is because deep inside, we still hope."