rest easy triv. i don't really want to go to california anymore
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@ratbastardmaeve
rest easy triv. i don't really want to go to california anymore

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the illusion was always that we just had to do it. just âdoâ the homework. the meal prep. the college application. just write the email, send the homework, follow up with that interview, clean your room. these are easy things, one-click things, two-hours-max things. we had so many people in our lives shout it at us. âwhy didnât you just do it!âÂ
often my answer was a soft i donât know. an i-got-tired when actually it was more like - i couldnât. i just couldnât. it feels like everything is covered in snow. donât you know that iâm mad at myself too? i want this stuff just as much as you do. i want to live in a clean house with good food and have an okay job and know iâm not disappointing the people iâm coming home to. i donât like missing opportunities and having to scramble in a panic about last-minute things.
iâm a fully grown adult. she is posing for a pic on insta. if you want a life like this, go out and get it. itâs 2pm and i havenât eaten breakfast. i am staring at the space where i should be working.Â
her video has a laugh. âjust do it!â
F*g is a slur and no amount of quirky posts is gonna make you cool for using it
You have rights because faggots and dykes fought for them. Respect that you cunt
You have rights because
faggots and dykes fought for them.
Respect that you cunt
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
oh haiku bot. i thought i couldnât love you more
âWhen the handle has snapped off the basket that held all your eggsâŚâ gone girl tier monologue

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Does free will exist?
yeah
âWhen the handle has snapped off the basket that held all your eggsâŚâ gone girl tier monologue
i love words like âacquireâ and âacquitâ etc⌠itâs such a treat to see c and q together like that. theyâre such an odd couple. itâs like if you were in high schoolš and one day you saw the blonde overachiever valedictorian² hanging out with the weird friendless goth girl with the siouxsie siouxÂł hair and you realized theyâd been childhood friends all along
š stage of education in the united states, commonly portrayed in a romanticized manner in films and tv shows. ² untranslatable; a type of warrior-priest. ³ english singer who was an important figure in the emergence of the gothic rock genre in the late 1970s.
the rise of âaestheticsâ as a common way to describe literally every facet of yourself is like the most destructive thing Iâve seen on social media this shit is crazy. it is the most beauty obsessed thing in such a subtle and evil way.... it goes down to the books you read the chicness of your clutter the music you listen to how you decorate your water bottle like literally every single thing you do is scrutinized and defined into egirl or cottagecore or dark academia or vapor wave or baddie or whatever and it just forces you to quantify yourself and criticize every thing you do without break ..... am I sitting down in an effortlessly cute way? Is the mess on my bedside table whimsical? Is my shampoo luxurious and glamorous? And itâs all just a way to sell shit and profit off of your insecurity!!!!!! You watch yourself from an outside perspective, making sure youâre not just beautiful but you fit exactly into whatever box you strive to belong to, and it leaves no room for mistakes!!!! You canât be embarrassing or cringey or gross or ugly unless itâs in an ironic way that fulfills a meta identity that is also quantifiable. Everybody has a uniform now that theyâre trying to fit into. If you take care of plants youâre cottagecore if you play video games and like pastels youâre an e girl if you like sweaters and reading (classic white people books only!!!) then youâre dark academia youâre tailoring every single aspect of yourself and isnât it tiring????? Isnât procuring yourself tiring????? Iâm going to rip a phone book in half
When "Franz Kafka" wrote "there are times, dearest, when I am convinced I am unfit for any human relationship". I felt that.
"Days I feel like a human being, while other days I feel more like a sound. I touch the world not as myself but as an echo of who I was."
â "On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous" Novel by Ocean Vuong

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Romanticizing school to avoid dying in the school year
-Celine and Julie Go Boating (1974)
âBeauty is rarely soft or consolatory. Quite the contrary. Genuine beauty is always quite alarming.â
-Donna Tartt
"You are killing me and you are keeping me from dying. This is love."
-Mahmoud Darwish
You are the knife I twist inside myself; that is love. That, my dear, is love."
-Franz Kafka
"I would split open my heart with a knife, place you within and seal my wound, that you might dwell there and never inhabit anotherâŚ"
-Ibn Hazm

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"I was growing less and less attached to life. If I kept going, I thought, I'd disappear completely, then reappear in some new form. This was my hope. This was the dream."
-Ottessa Moshfegh, My Year of Rest and Relaxation