don't be suprised when you get bent over

when will a husband and wife who are widely rumored to be vampires invite me up to their once-gorgeous mansion which has fallen into some disrepair and then serve a beautiful meal that they barely pick at, sipping from glasses of dry red wine instead as they take turns complimenting me borderline-salaciously while shooting each other conspiratorial looks that i don’t know how to interpret before one of them insists that it’s getting far too late for me to be going back home alone and now i simply must spend the night…..

in case the implied ending wasn’t clear enough: and then i get railed.

Every day we stray further from the light of God

I don’t think the lights are supposed to be on for this encounter, maybe a few tasteful candles or a haunting glow from under the basement door

fanfic titles be like “we have not touched the stars (nor are we forgiven)” and then you look at the tags & the first one is “anal fisting”

that was not where I was expecting it to go AND I LOVED IT

Never forget that THIS happened