Kinder Notions

I put this together because alot of my parents at Kinder have been making enquiries about how to deal with bedtime / sleeptime for their little ones....

SLEEP FOR KINDERS:

Derived From: Angela Oswalt, MSW, Natalie Staats Reiss, Ph.D and Mark Dombeck, Ph.D. Updated: Jan 16th 2008

WHY CHILDREN NEED TO GO TO BED EARLY:

A healthy diet is not the only thing that will help children continue to grow and develop physically, mentally, and socially. Children also need adequate amounts of sleep in order to allow their bodies time to recharge for each new day. Getting children to want to go to sleep is not always an easy task. Many young children need quite a bit of coaxing before they will crawl into bed and shut their eyes for the night. Their compliance can be helped along by setting up a good bedtime routine.

A well-planned bedtime routine prepares children mentally and physically to move from their active, exciting daytime adventures to quiet, night-time sleep. The most important part of a planned bedtime routine is consistency. When caregivers use a routine consistently every night, children will learn to expect it. The routine itself will likely cause a calming effect, as children become comforted by learning to anticipate each step of the experience.

HOW TO APPROACH BED-TIME:

Electronics: The bedtime routine begins by having children stop engaging in their stimulating daytime activities. Parents need to make a rule about the cut-off time for television, computer games, and rough and tumble play. Electronic activities may be less important to preschool-aged children, but setting this limit now will help enforce it into later years.

Bath time: Many families find that starting the bedtime routine off with a bath is a good first step. With the right attitude and some interesting toys or games, bath time can be a lot of fun for everyone. Meanwhile, warm water and specially scented "calming" bath wash (found in many chemists and supermarkets) can begin to lull little ones toward sleep.

Eating and Drinking: As well, caregivers should carefully plan an evening snack. As mentioned previously, young children may not be able to eat a large portion at dinner and may, as a result, become hungry again before bedtime. The appropriate content and size of the bedtime snack will necessarily vary across children, as a little one who is too hungry or too full at bedtime will have a difficult time falling asleep. Furthermore, too much fluid before bedtime can cause accidents, even with toilet-trained children. A night-time wetting accident will rob children and parents of needed sleep.

Books / songs time: Night-time rituals such as reading offer children a perfect opportunity for one-on-one caregiver time. Reading together can help calm children down while fostering their love for books and learning. Some families may also use this time to encourage religious growth or education through prayers or reading of important texts (depending on your family background). Others take this opportunity to sing soothing lullabies or simply hug and cuddle. Each of these activities can help strengthen family love and bonds while creating a safe and tranquil space for preschoolers.

  INDEPENDENCE / BED-SHARING: 

Most experts believe that caregivers should not allow children to fall asleep with adults in their bedroom every night, as this may hinder children's ability to learn to self-soothe and fall asleep easily on their own. Instead, caregivers should help youngsters relax enough to feel sleepy and then say, "Goodnight," and, "I love you," while walking out the door. Often, young children at this developmental stage will feel more comfortable if they have a night light in their room or a comfort object (e.g., a stuffed animal or special blanket) with them in bed. Even with these preparations, nightmares and significant fears are relatively common at this age range.

Some families feel fervently that the best way to ensure the best sleep for everyone is by creating a "family bed" (i.e., allowing young children to sleep in their caregivers' bed or beside the bed at night). Some families believe that the family bed is a natural way to promote family bonding, since this is a traditional practice in many parts of the world. Families need to carefully think through the potential benefits and risks to all parties involved before establishing a family bed, however. Caregivers' and children's sleep needs, as well as everyone's safety, is important. Whatever arrangement families choose, they should be consistent every night (in other words, it is not a good idea to share a family bed on some nights, and then send the children to their own beds on other nights). Inconsistency will only frustrate young children and ultimately backfire when it comes to helping them develop good sleep habits.

ADAPTING SCHEDULES:

Usually, caregivers quickly learn to adapt their schedules to their young children's unique sleep needs. Some children need fewer hours of sleep at night, but must recharge with a long nap in the afternoon. Other kids rarely need naps, but require a long uninterrupted block of night-time sleep. In general, young children ages 2 to 5 years need 10 to 12 hours of sleep each day. Between the ages of 5 to 7 years, young children need approximately 9 to 11 hours. Caregivers should try (as much as possible) to keep their children on a relatively consistent sleep schedule. Allowing children to stay up late or miss naps occasionally due to special events is okay. However, a chaotic, inconsistent schedule will usually lead to missed sleep and cranky and lethargic children.

CHANGES:

Young children in the preoperational stage eventually reach a point where it becomes time for them to sleep in a "big bed." Often, this change is prompted by the expected arrival of a new sibling, who needs to use the crib. If possible, caregivers should attempt to separate these these two important life-altering events. In other words, move your older child to his or her new bed weeks in advance of the arrival of the new baby (if that can be accomplished). Young children who are interested in and able to get out of their cribs should also be switched to a big bed to prevent accidents and injuries. Parents who are concerned about young children rolling out of a new bed can install inexpensive bed rails and/or put long body pillows near the side of the bed.

Most children become extremely excited about moving to a "big bed," as this is an accomplishment that demonstrates that they're growing up. However, if children show some uncertainty about moving to a new bed, caregivers can slow down their transition by allowing them to first nap in the big bed, while continuing to sleep in the crib at night. Later, children can move to full time sleeping in the big bed as they become comfortable.

A good friend, and a beautiful person, (let's call her 'S') needs a great deal of support. She has suffered numerous personal grievances recently, and to top it off, her mother suffered

Today I saw a very interesting story on the News. A woman in Australia has decided to do a Christmas WITHOUT presents for her children. In theory, I am in agreement. Here are my thoughts. Let me know what you think…

A SPOILT GENERATION:

This generation of children is arguably the most spoilt our society has seen. With ‘must-haves’ in many categories, from the latest console/tablet to brands that ‘everybody has’, parents are put under immense pressure to acquire the latest La-la-Loopsie doll or Sylvanian Family furniture set. Parents are viewed as mean and tight and are met with temper tantrums, ‘I hate you’/’you don’t understand’ screams if their children’s wants are not met. And this does not just apply to Christmas. This is all year round. It is often done ‘just because’ or  used as a bribery tool for good behavior as well as punishment by withdrawal of possessions. This is creating a generation of young people who have been conditioned to assume that good behavior will always be met with a material reward, as opposed to kindness for the sake of kindness. Young people of this mindset with receive a rude awakening as they go through school, university, the workplace and a variety of social situations.  In a nutshell, by giving children everything they want, we are creating selfish monsters. For this reason, I love the idea of a 'Presentless Christmas', assuming the parents explains the reasons to children and provides selfless or meaningful alternatives. The true meaning of Christmas is lost on this generation.

COSTS INCREASE:

Children’s Christmas presents are not what they used to be. Gone are the days when a child received a doll, a bike, some books or some puzzles and spent the coming weeks and months absorbed and delighted by them. Now children as young as three (yes THREE) are receiving iPads, iPhones, games consoles and TVs. Not only are these possessions affecting children’s active play, development of social skills, patience and problem-solving skills, but the costs are exorbitant. Parents are pressured into spending upwards of $500-$1000 on a gift (one of many) that is detrimental to a child’s holistic development, likely to break quite quickly and encourages an addictive personality. All I can say is, what is the point?

POSSESSIONS BEYOND THEIR YEARS:

As mentioned above, a boy in my 3-year-old Pre-Kinder class received an iPad from his mother about six months ago, because ‘she got a payrise at work’. Every morning since then, when this particular boy arrives to the centre, he is glued to his iPad from the moment he leaves his house and even walks from his car to his class with his eyes cast down to the screen in his hand as his parent physically guides him. This resumes, but in reverse, the moment he is collected in the evenings.  The necessity for this is lost on me. A child of such a young age should not be encouraged to engage in such anti-social and selfish behavior. Monitoring, allocated timings and a combination of other types of play must be enforced along with these items, until the child is mature enough to self-regulate. Why perpetuate the need for social isolation through the medium of Christmas gift-giving?

ALTERNATIVES:

I am in agreement with the ‘Presentless Christmas’ in theory but in order for it to be effectively put into practice, parents must make it age appropriate, explain the reasons behind it and provide alternatives. Toddlers will not grasp this concept, but it can be introduced alongside gift-giving in order to make it ‘the norm’ to be selfless at Christmas time. As time goes on, parents must verbally enforce the reasoning behind this and ensure that their children can relate to it and get them involved. Exposing children to stories about children less-fortunate than them, working with them to create a ‘giving’ gift for a child of their own age and locality and be open to their children’s ideas. Simply taking Christmas presents away without immersing children in the alternative will not support children in assimilating these concepts. Other alternatives could support quality family time, such as a gift of an experience as a family, or ‘vouchers’ to each other for selfless and social acts such as breakfast in bed, or playing a particular game for a while afternoon etc.

Lately I have been witness to a very strong obsession in Superheroes by my Kinders…. Such as Iron Man, Spiderman, Superman, Batman, etc. Many of them have gone so far as to not even respond to their own names. Initially I found this to be harmless role play which was all part of children’s exploration of identity, creativity and imagination. My kids have always had a strong interest in role play in general. Ironing, cooking, social interaction, reproduction of personal experiences etc… This was always very constructive and positive and I have extended on it and encouraged it to the best of my team’s and resources’ ability.

But lately, this Superhero obsession is becoming worrying. One child in particular (let’s pretend he’s called Timmy), when asked why he wanted to be Spiderman, told one of my colleagues that he can’t be Timmy anymore, because Timmy is dead. This set off alarm bells in my head. Other incidents occurred involving extreme violence by the children while they were ‘in character’. I began to further closely observe conversations between the kids surrounding this topic and many similar threads began to emerge. I began to discuss this with my director and broached subject with parents.

Following lengthy conversation, research and observation, I made the following decisions and plans to implement (some are already there, but will be emphasized further):

1: To have Superhero costumes and outfits banned from the centre (many children wore them all the time)

2: Group time conversations surrounding real-life heroes such as doctors, police and fire fighters. Including family members

3: Group time conversations discussing ourselves, our own qualities and importance (to help address Timmy’s remark)

4: Put in place a new dress up corner with police, business people, fire fighters, chefs, construction workers, and many other occupations

5: Introduced a book called ‘Jobs people do’ to explore what constitutes being a hero in reality

6: Discussing and exploring ‘Behind the Scenes’ of Superhero movies to learn how actors and stuntmen play these parts and how they are not real.

7: Conflict resolution strategies to show children that violence is not the answer.

Of course when I got in touch with management at my centre, all they did was send me a print out that discusses ‘the value of role play’. Stuff that I learnt in first year of university and really did not address the issues presented. But anyway, I will see how my strategies go.

Many, many times I have encountered this conundrum. I, in my my Kinder Room, enforce a certain set of rules that I encourage my children to abide by. These rules are there to promote mutual respect among the children with each other and with the staff. They also teach the children self respect, to stand up for themselves, but not to become conceited, demanding or to try to 'pull the wool over the eyes' of the teachers.

The main underpinning of these rules is consistency. In order for a child to assimilate a pattern, or in order for him/her to understand that it is not just a once off, it must reoccur continuously, i.e., similar reactions must be presented without bias. If a child becomes distressed that he/she is not getting his/her own way, educators MUST not relax on the issue. For example, if a child regularly becomes upset because he/she does not wish to pack up the trains once they have finished playing with them, it is essential that an educator see the cleaning-up through to the end. This can be done in many ways, obviously. Such as positive reinforcement (verbal praise and encouragement, reward etc), not being able to move on to the next activity until it is completed, teamwork (asking other children to join in, educator offering to help), or simple command. If this is being enforced as a general rule on a constant basis, it will eventually become habit to the children, with periodic reminders. However, if a child 'wins' this argument even once and leaves the trains all over the floor after refusing to pack them away, without the educator redirecting the child, he/she will now have learnt that if he/she pushes hard enough or becomes distressed enough, the educator will inevitably give in. This gives rise to children pushing the boundaries further the next time around.

I feel the need to raise this issue because of something that happened last week. A three year old girl that attends Kinder was being dropped off one morning by her mother. This particular mother has been at her wits end as to how to convince her child to renounce her milk bottle (it is my belief it is outrageous for a three and half year old in Kinder to still use a bottle - although, naturally, I did not voice this opinion). I spoke to the mother at length about different methods she has tried and could try, afterwhich she turned to her daughter and said 'Jess (me) says that Kinders are not allowed to have bottles in the centre anymore'. This was not what I advised, but I went along with it anyway, as per the mothers wishes. Her daughter nodded and handed the bottle to mum so it could be taken home. A few minutes later, as her mother was leaving, the little girl screamed quite loudly 'Give my bottle to me now, mummy!'. I waited for the response, which consisted of her mother apologising to her daughter and handing the bottle back to her.

What learning outcomes were facilitated for this child during this experience? Only that, as I have previously stated, that if I child pushes hard enough, they get their way. I have seen this type of thing many times with this particular family and others which breaches, what I believe to be a cardinal rule in Early Childhood - CONSISTENCY. Many things may have been at play here, such as the mother wanting to avoid a scene, for example. However, it does not excuse the fact that this child is repeatedly realising that she will get what she wants. 

We are taught in ECE to always respect a child's wishes and so forth, which is certainly important. But, if one applies this to all situations, the child will learn no boundaries, respect for others, or positive decision making skills. This does not support the right of the child to make choices, but rather, undermines it in the long run.

Sometimes the adult does, in fact, know best! A child must be encouraged to learn that when such a decision is made on behalf of the child, it is to be respected. It is to the child's detriment that he/she is allowed to make the rules of their own accord.

Thanks! I know we're not supposed to admit it, but it can be a very challenging occupation! But also very rewarding and doable if we have a true passion for it! I think it's important that we feel we can discuss and vent in a safe environment without fear of consequence. 

So the purpose of starting this blog was to vent about certain frustrations at work and to seek other opinions on issues that I am exploring. But.... this time, a happy entry I shall write!

Today, as the parents were arriving to collect their children, one mother and father came to me and handed me an envelope. I waited until I had some time to myself to open the envelope and read its contents. The long and thoughtful note was a 'thank you' for the work I had done last year with their 3 year old daughter. I have a certain soft spot for her anyway, because she is the first and youngest child that I have taught to write. Some quotes  in the note included 'great teacher', 'wonderful year thanks to you', 'she joyfully talks about you every day', 'amazed and so proud of what she has done under your tuition', etc.

Now I certainly cant take all of the credit for how well this little girl has progressed, because she is a very intelligent child whose literacy and numeracy skills are exceptional; not to mention her wonderful nature and fantastic social skills. But still, it is wonderful to receive such acknowledgement and appreciation.

I will hang that note on my wall to remind me every day to remind that despite the bureaucracy of some ECE companies, the stress of paperwork, and the frustrations encountered in various areas of the job, it is certainly all worth while. If we can affect one, person, child, or family in such a positive way, however frequent or infrequent, then our work means something special.

Welcome to my blog!

Since emigrating from Ireland to Australia in 2012, I have noticed interesting disparities and consistencies in different aspects of the land of Early Ed between both countries. My blog, Kinder Notions, will explore these as I encounter them. One that always rears its head in my work is parents and their role in their children's education. How is it facilitated and how is it challenged?

I will also ramble about my slightly more unconventional musings.... For example, is there room for technology in the field of Early Ed? Most may immediately say YES! I beg to differ.....