RANGER DAWSON.

return to self-loathing

‘  no more doing things separately. from now on, we fuck everything up together.  ’ ‘  i’m not doing cocaine. i just have a feeling i would be unbearable.  ’ ‘  what, you hear that? that’s the sound of the tables turning.  ’ ‘  i just wanted your vomit. why’d you have to make it weird?  ’ ‘  our kitchen looks like the inside of a shark.  ’ ‘  i had such a good day at the asylum.  ’ ‘  kidnapping. why don’t governments do more to stop them?  ’ ‘  we’re hand models and we have to protect our assets from sun damage.  ’ ‘  killing people is hard. i used to think that was a good thing.  ’ ‘  he worships you. you’re the queen of his spank bank.  ’ ‘  sweetheart, you bought a car and now you’re grinding on the neighbors. this is not who you are!  ’ ‘  i’ve been wanting one ever since this morning!  ’ ‘  i feel like whatever i say is going to make you push harder against my vagina.  ’ ‘  i really want to make this work.  ’ ‘  sometimes you do shit you never expected for the people you love.  ’ ‘  oh god, you’re in to sports? this relationship is getting even more untenable.  ’ ‘  what a cute, weird couple you make.  ’ ‘  i like not killing people – i’ve always liked it. i just forgot how much.  ’ ‘  killing people is hard. i used to think that was a good thing.  ’ ‘  we’re not good at murder. i happen to think that’s a positive quality.  ’ ‘  oh no, my finger’s oozing again.  ’ ‘  no, he’s fine, he just saw something on television and now he’s living his life by it.  ’ ‘  i think he spent too much time in a hot car.  ’ ‘  you could’ve slapped bloody hands on who knows how many dead asses.  ’ ‘  whoa, hey, wow, look at your face!  ’  ‘  you look amazing! like a sexy raccoon!  ’ ‘  i am not a murderer! okay, technically i am. not even technically. literally. but i refuse to be defined by that one time i murdered somebody.  ’ ‘  you bailed so you don’t get to have an opinion, okay?  ’ ‘  nobody likes a backseat arsonist.  ’ ‘  yes, it’s fun to be carefree and spontaneous and less hirable in a depressed job market.  ’ ‘  oh my god, are you serious? you’d kill me with a bat?  ’ ‘  you know what’s cool? i’m never surprised anymore.  ’ ‘  i feel like a bus station shit in my mouth.  ’ ‘  well, we can’t start killing people.  ’ ‘  we’re getting life back to normal and killing people isn’t normal, sweetheart.  ’ ‘  i love this idea. you’re an evil genius.  ’ ‘  act casual.  ’ ‘  you see? i’ve known you, what, five minutes and already i’d rather have you kill me.  ’ ‘  new lesson: if at first you don’t succeed then blast his ass with tear gas.  ’ ‘  just because something’s changed doesn’t mean it’s not still beautiful.  ’ ‘  if you miss eating pizza, eat a man who just at pizza.  ’ ‘  i just threw up. like a fair amount.  ’ ‘  i know we have to kill somebody today, but we have to be parents every day.  ’ ‘  i just stuffed a man in a meat freezer. cross that off my bucket list.  ’ ‘  i am so glad this is not one of those diseases that dries your skin out.  ’ ‘  here’s a solution: let’s all stop talking until i can think of what to say next.  ’ ‘  god, there’s so many ways to mess up your children.  ’ ‘  everyone is afraid of change, but when life is screaming ‘this is your new truth,’ you need to accept it.  ’ ‘  be bold, be brave, and live your new truth, no matter what it is.  ’ ‘  how do you have so much testosterone without balls?  ’ ‘  i’ve just been lying here, successfully throwing a ball up and down.  ’ ‘  i mean, he’s giggling a lot now, so that’s new.  ’ ‘  i’ll let you do the math because he couldn’t.  ’ ‘  you keep talking shit about us and i swear to god i will drop kick you.  ’ ‘  try it and i will kick your twat so far up your throat that you’ll get pregnant giving blow jobs.  ’ ‘  we’re gonna kill people, sweetheart.  ’ ‘  we’re gonna kill people so you can eat them.  ’ ‘  we’ve been us since high school. i’m not gonna bail on you now.  ’ ‘  would it be weird if i took his watch?  ’ ‘  don’t come at me with that weak tea.  ’ ‘  whoa, buddy, there’s a lot to unpack here.  ’ ‘  i’m panicking so my lizard brain is making a lot of the decisions.  ’ ‘  well……. bye!  ’ ‘  i started thinking about that nervous smile of yours.  ’ ‘  you gotta stop saying that to people.  ’ ‘  nice try blending in, you handsome, thick-haired, son of a bitch.  ’ ‘  ‘i love you very much’? what the fuck is that supposed to mean?  ’ ‘  sometimes i feel like you’re batman and robin and i’m… alfred.  ’ ‘  damn, you still have that new baby smell.  ’

1x11 - Veteran

ARLO  DAWSON.     do  not  reblog  unless  partner.