#1 Unreliable Source

walk carefully child, the leaves are listening

Wish I was injured in battle and passed out, and then I wake up in a cabin with a sexy man bed side nurse putting a wash cloth on my wounds being like “don’t move too much, you’ve been through a lot” or whatever shit they say. Thatd be dope as fuck.

i’ve said it before i’ll say it again there’s a difference between lady gaga singing born this way in 2011 and taylor swift singing “shade never made anyone less gay” (whatever the fuck that means) to profit off of it in 2019

The difference is that Lady Gaga is bisexual and Taylor Swift is straight

there’s honestly nothing worse than an apple that’s not crisp like don’t come near me with that grainy soft shit, that weak ass crunch i’d rather die

this is an anti-red delicious apple blog and if you don’t agree you can block me right now

dont fuck with me or ill weld all your joints shut in your sleep

gonna be walkin like a gingerbread man

unless one character in the equation is a heinous asshole or something, i am entirely impervious to love triangles. 

i live by the “____ has two hands” meme motto