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Why You Shouldn't Engage Your Sentient Pet Platypus in a Snowball Fight
For @perry-the-platypus-plumber
I am so sorry this is so late and your original Secret Santa didn't work out. I am now your Secret Santa and this is your gift fic! I hope you like it.
...
Though it was fourteen degrees Fahrenheit, and the wind was frigid and a sheet of ice blanketed every non-salted surface, sweat still dripped down Candace’s neck and back. She had done about five laps of the driveway, her shovel scraping against the frozen cement and gathering heaps of snow. Her muscles ached as she lifted the wooden handle slightly, dumping yet another pile of snow to the accumulating hill bordering the driveway.
“I hate Friday night snow storms,” she panted, leaning against the shovel. “A Saturday snow day is so useless.”
She also hated shovelling, but somehow the chore was a bit sweeter with the knowledge that the alternative was six hours of school.
As she caught her breath, she twisted her neck slightly to see how her brothers were doing. Ferb had already shovelled and swept the front and bath pathways of their property. He was on his last task, sprinkling salt over stubborn patches of ice.
Phineas was almost done with the sidewalk, clouds of white powder hanging over his head with each load of snow he slung into the front yard. With one more strip of the driveway to go, Candace rolled her throbbing shoulders back and pushed. She carefully manoeuvred around the car, the shovel rattling against the cement, the sound growing duller as more snow gathered in the blade. With a loud grunt, she tipped the snow into the waist-high pile.
“Finally!” she exclaimed.
“With this much snow, we could make a giant snow fort,” said Phineas, looking at the mounds of white crystals with gleaming eyes.
“Don’t even think about it,” growled Candace, aiming a finger at him. “By the time Mom and Dad get home, your ridiculously massive snow fort is going to magically vanish, and with my luck the snow is gonna avalanche all over this driveway. I am not shovelling again. The snow stays put.”
“Good idea. A snow fort is pretty similar to an ice chalet, anyway, and we already did that.” Phineas shook clumps of snow from his gloves. “Hmm. Maybe we could make snow mobiles made out of actual snow.”
Ferb joined his siblings, flashing a thumbs-up to indicate his chore was finished. Candace stretched, wincing at the tight knots straining in her shoulders. “Can we warm up first before you get into any shenanigans? I can’t bust you if I’m frozen solid.”
Phineas smiled. “Ooh, can we make homemade hot chocolate?”
“Only if you do the stirring.”
“Deal!”
Ferb held his index finger and thumb an inch apart, and Candace smirked. “Yeah, we’ve got tiny marshmallows.”
“Krkrkrk.”
The Flynn-Fletcher kids turned in the direction of the very familiar sound. Perry stood on the roof, leaning casually against the chimney, his fedora tilted slightly over his eyes to block the winter wind.
Phineas grinned brightly. “Hey, Perry!”
Ferb waved. Candace glared up at him. “Oh, look who shows up just as we finished shovelling. What a coincidence.”
Perry raised his right brow. He lifted his shoulders in a ‘not my fault’ motion and Candace scoffed. She crossed her arms over her chest. “You left just as Mom and Dad told us to clear off the driveway and sidewalks. You totally took your sweet time during your mission. In fact, you’re late! Did Dr. D invite you for a hot apple cider or something?”
Shaking his head, Perry knelt against the snow-covered roof and started gathering piles into his paws. With quick motions, he made crude sculptures of snowmen, Doofenshmirtz, and himself. Studying the scene, Phineas deciphered, “Dr. D made a Snowman Alive-inator and attacked you with an army of living snowman?” At Perry’s nod, Phineas said excitedly, “That’s so cool! Not using the snowmen to take over the Tri-State Area, obviously. I mean making the snowmen come to life. Ferb, I know—”
Perry chattered sharply, setting his paws on his hips as he looked sternly at Phineas. His boy rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Right. No copying Dr. D’s ideas. We’ll think of something else. Right Ferb?”
Ferb patted his brother’s back in agreement. Candace rolled her eyes. “So you had to battle an army of snowmen. You can literally punch right through them. It shouldn’t have taken you that long.”
Perry gave her a pointed look. He gestured to her, tapped his beak, and then punched one of the miniature snowmen. “It is not easier said than done,” insisted Candace. “They melt! All those gadgets O.W.C.A. gives you, and you don’t have a single flamethrower? Nope. Not buying it. I want to see your mission minutes.
“I don’t think O.W.C.A. has enough organization to draft mission minutes,” remarked Ferb, his voice muffled through his purple scarf.
Perry’s chortle was drowned out by the blast of a horn. They turned to see a snowplough barrelling down their road, pushing a massive pile of snow as it went. Candace’s jaw dropped as a wave of dirty snow cascaded over the curb, spilling onto the once-clean sidewalk, and forming a wall at the end of their driveway.
“Hey!” Candace shrieked.
Phineas patted her arm. “It’s okay, Candace. It’s just a little more work.”
“No way, we did our part. It’s Perry’s turn.” She whirled around, seizing her shovel and brandishing it the platypus. “Mom and Dad will be home soon, so you better hurry up!”
Perry reached up, his fingers flicking the dial of his translation collar. With a smirk, he said, “I’ve already done my job for the day, kiddo. Besides, that’s not exactly a platypus-sized shovel. I’ll submit a request to Monogram for one, along with a flamethrower. I’m sure he’ll love that.”
Candace was tired and cold, and beyond irritated to see Perry standing there, nearly waist-deep in snow, and not giving the slightest shiver. With narrowed eyes, she marched up to the front stoop and, with such force it made her brothers jump, she banged the blade against the bottom of the roof.
A startled chatter escaped Perry’s throat as he was suddenly carried from the rooftop by several feet of snow. He landed with a soft ploft, only to be buried a millisecond later. He hastily dug his way out, gasping and spitting out ice and snow.
“Candace, that wasn’t nice,” said Phineas with a frown, hurrying to Perry’s side and helping him from the snowdrift. “You could’ve hurt him.”
“It’s gonna take a lot more than a mini snowslide to hurt me,” Perry growled, shivering slightly as he brushed snowflakes from his fedora. “But your sister has made a very big mistake.”
Candace backed up slightly, her nerves jumping at the dangerous glint in Perry’s eyes. “What does that—”
Her vision was suddenly obstructed by a wall of white. She yelped at the ice-cold sensation seeping into her exposed cheeks and swiped at her face, her red mittens coming back covered in snow. She glowered at Perry, who shook the lingering ice crystals from his fingers, his gaze holding a silent challenge.
“Oh, it’s on!” declared Candace.
She dashed over to the haphazardly-stacked driveway snow, seizing a fistful and forming a quick snowball. When she whipped around, Perry was nowhere in sight. She scanned the frozen, white landscape, her heart pumping in her chest.
Thwack!
A snowball hit her thigh, startling her into tumbling back into the snowbank. Perry flipped seamlessly onto the top of the family minivan, a smug grin on his bill. Candace struggled to sit up, lobbing her snowball at the platypus. Perry twisted his body, the snowball sailing past his torso, not one snowflake touching his skin.
And that’s when Candace realized that Perry was indeed correct—she had made a horrible mistake in engaging her secret agent platypus pet in a snow fight.
But her pride refused to allow her to admit defeat. She would not surrender, especially not so soon into the battle. She stood up, grabbed a fistful of snow, and chucked it at Perry. He dodged it, leaping off the car and landing on the driveway. He sprinted over to the snowbank, grabbing a clump of snow and twisting on his heel. He whipped it at Candace, who lunged to the ground, grunting when her body hit the hard cement.
The snowball sailed overhead and she scrambled back to her feet. Her attention focussed on Perry just as a snowball struck him dead in the back.
Giving a startled chatter, Perry turned to see Phineas behind him, tossing a snowball up and down. “Traitor!” Perry exclaimed dramatically.
“Sorry, Perry, but we gotta even the odds,” said Phineas.
He lobbed his snowball at Perry, who flipped to avoid it, but wasn’t able to see Candace’s snowball careening straight for him. It smacked into the back of his head, causing the platypus to grunt. He slid slightly along the stray patches of snow stuck to the driveway and he set down a hand to balance himself.
“Ha! Phineas likes me more!” crowed Candace, reinvigorated now she wasn’t fighting against Perry by herself.
Perry rolled his shoulders, grinning as he flicked his gaze between his kids. “Okay. I see how it is. Give it all you got. Otherwise, you don’t stand a chance.”
Phineas and Candace circled Perry, making sure to stay on opposite ends of the platypus so his attention was diverted. For the first minute, they were able to land some solid hits, but their triumph didn’t last long. Perry quickly got a feel for their rhythm, watching Phineas intently, pinpointing by his motions where Candace was planning to throw her own snowball.
He ducked and weaved with grace and agility, using his tail to send the snowballs flying back towards Phineas and Candace. Phineas spluttered as a snowball struck his nose, and Candace hissed as a snowball smacked her in the forehead. As they continued to get battered by their own snowballs, they quickly ceased firing.
Perry crossed his arms, an amused smile on his beak at his snow-dusted kids. “Well? What now?”
Candace eased her way towards Phineas, keeping wary eyes on the observing platypus. “He’s taunting us,” she muttered. “He could totally annihilate us right now.”
“At least he’s giving us a chance,” replied Phineas lowly, lifting the collar of his coat to wipe snow from his chin. “Okay, we need to overwhelm him. Fire a bunch of snowballs at once.”
“How are we going to do that?” asked Candace in frustration. “Ask him for a five-minute break so we can make a stock of snowballs? He’s just gonna do the same thing and then we’re so toast.”
“Tick-tock,” said Perry in a sing-song tone.
There was the sudden whirring of gears, and the three turned towards the sound. They watched as the garage door slowly rolled up, rattling in its tracks, gradually revealing Ferb, who held a leaf blower in his gloved hands.
Perry blinked in bemusement. “I was wondering where you went. What are you doing with the leaf blower? And what the heck is on it?”
Ferb reached for the switch, flipped it, and Perry found himself barraged by snowballs rapid-firing from the nozzle.
Candace whooped. “Oh yeah! That’s my little brother!”
“Genius, dude!” cheered Phineas.
Ferb sidled up to his siblings. “Good distraction,” he spoke.
“Right. That’s totally what we were doing,” said Candace with a snort.
There was a power tool battery attached to the back of the leaf blower, and Ferb had rigged a funnel for loading snowballs into the machine. Candace and Phineas quickly took up the positions of stocking ammo, with Phineas forming the snowballs and Candace placing them into the funnel.
Perry scrambled across the driveway, but found that the snowballs were coming too fast for him to dodge. He was pelted left and right, knocking him every which way. He tucked and rolled beneath the car, panting for breath, a hoarse laugh rumbling from his throat.
“Well-played.”
Knowing there was no other choice but to try and rush Ferb, Perry shifted his weight from foot to foot, prepping himself for a short sprint. Mentally counting down from five, he dashed out from under the car, streaking to where the siblings were clustered at the edge of the driveway.
He was moving too quickly for Ferb to change the angle of the leaf blower. He would have been met with a full-body platypus tackle, if his sister was not equipped with superior sisterly instincts.
Seeing the teal blur hurtling straight for Ferb, Candace’s mind blared Danger! Though she knew Perry would never in his life hurt any of them, her protective instincts still activated and she seized Ferb by the waist, swinging him out of the way.
The sudden, unexpected motion caused Ferb to let go of the leaf blower in surprise. It smacked into the cement, the base of the leaf blower cracking and causing the machine to stutter to a halt. Instead of tackling Ferb, Perry charged head-first into the snowbank.
“Retreat!” Candace shouted, using her boot to push Perry’s behind, forcing the platypus further into the snowbank.
She ran down the path leading into the backyard, charging through the snow and taking cover behind the big tree. Phineas was quick to settle beside her, and Ferb joined them soon after, using a broom he had retrieved from the garage sweep snow over their footprints.
“You’re really the star of this team, bro,” said Phineas breathlessly.
“How fast can you make another snowball Nerf gun thing?” demanded Candace.
Ferb shrugged and removed his glove so his siblings could see him holding up one finger. Phineas nodded. “Yeah, Dad only has one leaf blower.”
“Come on, you guys are all about your big ideas!” said Candace frantically. “You totally can come up with something to kick Perry’s butt!”
There was the creak of the back gate opening and the three went still.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are.”
Perry’s croon made a shiver that had nothing to do with the cold run down Candace’s spine. She exchanged a panicked glance with her brothers, who were wide-eyed. They huddled against the trunk and Candace prayed Perry would see the lack of tracks and decide to look for them elsewhere.
There was silence. The wind whistled and the snow shifted. Candace’s heart pounded in her chest. No one dared to peek around the wide tree trunk.
Thwack!
The wood behind their backs vibrated and Candace didn’t even get a chance to look over her shoulder before she was doused with ice-cold snow. She was blinded by white and she thrashed her limbs in pure panic. In the next second she was plucked from the snow by the top of her hood.
She spat out snow and blinked rapidly. When her vision was clear, she was greeted with Perry gazing at her with a soft smile, his paw falling to rest on her shoulder. “You good?”
“I’m freezing,” Candace complained, her teeth starting to chatter.
“Not so easy to punch your way through snow, is it?”
He gazed at her knowingly and the pout that formed across her lips made him chuckle.
Phineas and Ferb were plopped in the snow beside Candace, having been yanked out of the snowdrift first. They were shivering and trying to shake the snow from their clothes. “That was a good one,” Phineas said.
Ferb nodded. Perry jerked his head in the direction of the house. “Go inside and get warmed up. I’ll take care of the leaf blower and finish shovelling the driveway.”
“I thought you couldn’t because we lacked a platypus-sized shovel?” countered Candace.
“The leaf blower is pretty platypus-sized, and once it’s fixed it’ll take care of the snow,” returned Perry. “Go before you catch a cold.”
The three kids wasted no time in shuffling inside the warm, cozy home. They stripped out of their wet jackets, scarves and mittens. Too exhausted to make homemade hot chocolate, Candace grabbed a box of hot chocolate powder from the cupboard and made four piping hot servings. She added generous heaps of whipped cream and marshmallows to each mug and carried them into the living room on a wooden tray.
Phineas and Ferb were already snuggled on the couch, covered in three layers of blankets. Candace set the tray of drinks on the coffee table and flopped in between her brothers. “Sorry, guys, this is all I have the energy for.”
“This is perfect,” said Phineas honestly, and Ferb rested his head against Candace’s shoulder.
Perry shuffled into the living room just as Candace put the television on a random movie channel. The light on his translator collar was off, and he gave a thumbs-up to indicate everything outside was taken care of.
“Thanks,” mumbled Candace, giving him a tiny smile.
Perry made a no-worries motion with his paw. He took a seat beside Ferb, tucking himself beneath the blankets and sighing with contentment. He grabbed one of the hot chocolates and took a long sip.
“That was really fun,” said Phineas happily.
“Yeah, but we never stood a chance,” said Candace with a sigh. Perry grinned at her, reaching over to playfully tweak her nose, and she batted away his paw. “We got in a couple good hits, though.”
Perry gestured at Ferb and Phineas nodded enthusiastically. “Oh yeah, Ferb was definitely the MVP.”
Ferb smiled proudly and Candace lightly bumped her shoulder against his. “Don’t let it blow up your ego,” she teased.
They settled against one another, Phineas and Ferb lounging against their sister, and Perry sprawling out over Ferb’s lap. They basked in the warmth and each other’s company, their toes and fingers and noses and bill thawing.
“Note to self,” spoke Candace. “Don’t ever engage your sentient secret agent pet in a snowball fight.”
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Greetings everyone! I am the author of the ongoing UTMV fanfiction, "Stellar Remnants." A Nightmare centric, plot heavy story that I have been working on for a long time. This post includes all the information you might want to know about this story as well as what I post on this blog!
What I post on this blog:
Chapter Updates
Plot Rants
Memes
Reblogs of Fanart or any relevant posts I come across
Official Art/WIP of Official Art
Official Comic Pages
Q&A's
Polls
YouTube Video Announcements
And Probably More
Trigger Warnings for the Story!
So, despite the tags I include and the extra warnings I have before some chapters, I do feel like this should be said.
Stellar Remnants is a story that deals with heavy themes of mental health. Topics such as Anxiety, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts/Themes, Eating Disorders, and so on are written about and included in a LOT of Characters. Though I may not always write them as accurately as some would like, A lot of these are written from my own experiences, and I do my best to make sure I don't represent something in an offensive way.
Secondly, my villain is gonna villain and do some not-so-nice things and cause some not-so-mild pain. Torture, Physical and Emotional Abuse, and other very asshole like behavior is written about in detail! That being said, you can rest assured that no POV Characters will be killed off by the end of this story.
Keep in mind!
I want people to keep in mind that a lot of effort has and still is being put into this story. It's beta read, and I do my best to make sure every chapter reaches a certain word count.
Also, I rewrote a LOT of backstories for a LOT of characters. Behaviors, motives, and even their outfits have been changed! That being said, PLEASE pay attention to chapters that drop backstories, THEY HAVE BEEN CHANGED and give important context!!!
Discord!
There is an official Discord server that can be joined here. I'm active often! - https://discord.gg/r5Sw8Qum7A
YouTube!
Official Stellar Remnant's shorts and animatics are/will be posted here! As well as other stuff - StellarStudios - YouTube
No me convencía ningún color x"b asi que muestro esos dos
Me imagine la escena en un atardecer en el horizonte apunto de llover. No lo se solo quería hacer algo lindo con shadow cuidando de sonic, espero y les guste :Db
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Thalia: Side quested so hard, Percy's now leading a mortal tour group through an aquarium
Percy: *in his element* and now the stone fish exhibit! Fun fact! Stonefish are the most venemous fish currently known and belong to the genus of four, Synanceia. I know the sign doesn't give his name but he tells me his name is Peter. Now who can tell me the scientific name for stonefish?
Thalia: I am pretty sure Poseidon is in the tour group.
sonic tierlist that's based off how likely they're gonna get along with a human (that isn't apart of the robotnik family. i wouldn't count movieverse.)
Sonic tierlist that's based off how likely they're gonna get along with a human (that isn't apart of the robotnik family)
I never really see what Nightmare’s abilities could’ve done to help others. Everyone labels his powers as monstrous, but negativity isn’t always a bad thing, and it’s needed to keep the balance. We also know if you have the power, it doesn’t automatically make you evil, as Nightmare was the guardian of negativity and was a gentle and kind soul before the apple incident.
I genuinely believe Nightmare’s role from the very start was to help people through their grief and let them process their negative emotions rather than suppressing them with positivity. You need to feel those emotions to confront them- but his soothing aura likely assisted with this fight and could’ve allowed people a safe place to let it out. He was supposed to be a comfort. Dream was there to bring joy and play and have fun- never to be the one with soothing tendencies. Nightmare was supposed to have that role, which is why he was so nurturing to Dream. It was in his essence. His whole goal in life was likely to soothe and comfort and yet the villagers beat him.
If we keep the auras and powers in mind, Nightmare was likely so weak towards the apple incident because he was deprived of his literal job and way to fuel his power. All his essence wanted to do was help and comfort and he was given fists. Meanwhile, Dream was being saddled with Nightmare’s responsibilities by being forced to comfort others and smother their sadness with his powers- which likely overworked him and made him confused on his own purpose. Was he really supposed to do everything? He just wanted to play. He just wanted to see happiness, not pain. It hurt him, and he was nothing but exhausted at eight years old.
I like to think little Nightmare did help one person in his time being alive, because the idea that his life was pure misery and deprivation is heartbreaking. A individual who had lost a family member and couldn’t cry. They felt nothing- and wanted to get the whirlwind of emotions out so they wouldn’t feel empty. They came to Nightmare in private, and he held them in a hesitant hug, and they began to bawl due to his aura. ( I can’t remember correctly, but I believe eating the apples was only a sin due to one of the guardians doing it. I believe Dream passed around positivity apples and they were safe to eat, so it would make since that the other side of the balance also was. They just can’t be eaten a LOT. So he could’ve also given them a apple)
They cried for hours, and Nightmare was terrified this would cause this to tell the village and anger them, but when they were done, they let Nightmare go and thanked him. They left with a bitter smile on their face, but a better understanding of their grief.
He had one chance to do what his abilities told him to do, and he loved it.
I did not expect another mosquito norm post either, but this prompt was there and uhhhh…… if you think about it this could be the swap au prompt from a few days ago too cuz they?? Swapped weapons?? I guess??
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