Who’s This Clown?

Thank you to the wonderful @dr4gonwriter for tagging me!

1. What's your blog title from?

So the origin story of this blog basically involves me being an academic mess (post finals week at the very start of my master thesis degree project — full story may be coming soon to a fanzine near you 👀👀) and in that I made a post on my main blog about wanting to see more unhinged Gale content. Like running on three hours of sleep and spite levels unhinged (cause that's what I was doing) and people in the notes of that post basically told me to go write the unhinged Gale I wanted to see in the world — so I did!

And then unhinged-academic-of-waterdeep felt appropriate!

2. Latest movie? What did you think?

Does watching all of Witch Hat Atelier in one sitting count as a movie?

If not then I think it might have been Project Hail Mary.. I genuinely cannot remember haha!

Either way, I love Witch Hat Atelier, I'm suffering severe withdrawals, and I hate cliffhangers.

And I have seen Project Hail Mary at least 30 times (I watched it almost twice daily when I was working on my thesis presentation) one of my top comfort movies, and I have nearly finished knitting the fox cardigan!

3. What are you looking forward to right now?

Stockholm pride tomorrow. Going to a bookstore after pride tomorrow to buy a stack of the Witch Hat Atelier manga (I'm coping really well with the cliffhanger ok??)

4. If you could do anything at all today, what would it be?

Genuinely, since I'm still very much on vacation (I technically have work to do but hey, this is the first time I've felt genuinely relaxed in two years so the work is August/September Jo's problem) today has been a day of "anything".

I got up, had breakfast in the sun, practiced a bit with my lightsaber (I learned some moves at Närcon (big con in sweden) last weekend and have been practicing them and also the lightsaber training sequence from the new Maul show)

Then I picked up my latest dumb sewing project (I took one look at Qifrey's shirt in witch hat atelier and went, that's a weird collar, how hard could it be! so I'm making it out of linen — which is a little dumb)

Miraculously managed to have lunch at a normal time (it's me vs. the hyperfixation every day istg)

More sewing, then a nap, then some work on fanzine stuff — check out Fanmade magazine for cool stuff!

Took a walk, and this evening will be more sewing, and chill vibes!

(let's be real it's looking like another witch hat atelier rewatch haha)

5. Drink of choice?

Coffee, all day every day, I need coffee — less for the caffeine moreso because there is too much blood in my coffee stream!

6. Hair routine?

non-lazy: shampoo, hair and scalp treatment, serum for my scalp, curl cream and mousse

lazy: shampoo and conditioner (bonus points if I go to bed with it wet, then I wake up to the most volume literally ever but it's always chaos)

7. Favourite way to travel? Is there another you want to try?

I mostly travel with trains (because climate change is real) but with the Swedish trains being what they are that isn't really my favorite way...haha

Controversially (again because climate change is real) I really love driving, especially on small roads in forests, you just throw some music on and it's so chill and nice. But I don't do it that much because a) car expensive and b) climate change is real

As for wanting to try, I don't know really, maybe to go on an ice breaker again?

8. Favourite month and why?

I like August. It's like the perfect Swedish summer month like it's late enough that all the lakes are warm, and it's just all lovely and calm and cozy, and also my birthday is in the middle of it. The one drawback is that it's also often back to school/work season, but it's still usually some of the nicest summer weather in Sweden!

9. Favourite time of day and why?

Evening, nighttime. It's a little cliche but I like how the world gets quiet, and calm. And you have the sunset and then the moon and stars. And it's just so peaceful. I also love writing at night, just getting myself a cup of coffee or a glass of whiskey, putting on some music and just writing.

10. Do you play or follow any sports?

During the winter olympics I got really into curling and figure skating but other than that I've never really followed sports.

I do pole dance, and I'm hoping to pick up ludosport (basically lightsaber fighting) and maybe some other dance (my dream is to do pole and ballet since they overlap quite a lot in technique) but I've heard rumors that a PhD will eat all of your time ever so we'll see how that goes haha.

11. What kind of music has been stuck in your head lately?

Annabelle Dinda's Whatever You Wanna has been living rent free in my brain for the past several weeks. I love me a sad song that sounds happy. So naturally I've built a playlist with just that vibe!

12. Dishes or laundry?

Dishes. I hate both, but I literally cannot do laundry for the life of me. I will procrastinate it into oblivion until I'm wearing the shitty underwear from 10 years ago that is more hole than fabric. I don't know why, I just absolutely hate it.

13. Something you learned recently?

How to play Gwent on table top! I've been meaning to try it for ages, and I've played it a bunch in the video game, but never on table top!

Many thanks to the witcher meet-up at Närcon for letting me try and be really bad at it (although I didn't actually loose so I wasn't that bad haha)

14. What would you talk about if you could give a TED talk on anything?

I think either history of queerbaiting or just plainly about Johnlock. BBC sherlock clearly did a number on me and that became the topic of hyperfixation for years and years and years after haha

or like any chaotic crafting, I'm stupidly good at chaotic crafting.

15. Piece of advice you find yourself giving a lot?

I'm quite often the friend you go to for advice, but it's difficult to say advice I give a lot, since my friends all deal with wildly different things. Maybe to slow down, take a step back, and try and give yourself some grace. That usually helps.

Also breathe, before trying to solve anything, sort your breathing out first.

Oh and no big feelings after 10pm, everything feels worse late at night when you're tired.

16. Piece of advice you would give yourself five years ago?

Whooo boy... five years ago... I can't remember much from five years ago (which is totally normal and definitely not a sign that I was depressed haha)

I think that even if it doesn't feel like it right now, it's going to be okay, things will get better.

That, or the advice I would give myself today; stop running.

17. Do you believe in luck and superstition? Do you carry any lucky items or follow any?

I mean, I don't. But I like to carry little tokens nonetheless. For instance I recently (at the con I went to last weekend) bought a replica of the ring of protection from bg3 from a silver smith. And like do I believe it will bring protection? not really, but do I like the way it makes me feel and reminds me to take care? yeah

I tend to overthink a lot, so outsourcing things to a higher power, fate or luck can do wonders for my anxiety.

18. Are you musical (play any instruments, sing)? Would you ever perform for an audience?

I sing, and I do semi regularly perform for an audience with my choir! I have sung solos too but I've gotten a lot more nervous doing that in front of an audience lately for some reason..

19. Write, type or speak?

Write or type. I don't really know why (it's either neurodivergence or trauma or both) but I can express myself way better in written words than in speech. With speaking there is no way to edit, and intent is sometimes more difficult to convey if you don't get your tone right, and don't even get me started on eye contact. Writing or typing though, that's way less stressful, especially if the conversation is important.

Writing or typing are both equally nice though. Some things are made for a notebook and some for a keyboard.

20. What do you wish someone would ask you?

Honestly, I wish people would stop asking me things. I'm always the responsible one, the one with a plan, and it would be nice to not have to carry all of that.

Especially when I don't feel great, I got to a part of my thesis where it was better to just be alone because if I had to deal with the "how are you? can I do anything to help?" thing one more time I'd snap.

gentle tagging: @optimisticgrey @astarioffsimpmain @thoughts-of-bear @twilicats @autismandwizardry @red-dragon-11 @penguintreblemaker @roguishcat

And anyone who wants to be, can consider themselves tagged!

Questions:

sorry the formatting is missed up. I wrote out everything nicely in my notes app and now it is not behaving

What's your blog title from? Twilicats is a name my parents gave me when we were making my first video game account. It's from my favorite Zelda game, Twilight Princess, and my long-time favorite animal. So they mashed them together. It's so good that I've kept it for so long. I can't imagine swapping it up now.

Latest movie? What did you think? The last movie I watched was Iron Lung. I totally loved it. I didn't really grow up with Markiplier, but it was really interesting to see his movie! And his haircut and tiddies. I almost started Project Hail Mary the other day, but I didn't think I'd have time to finish and think about it before my dnd session.

What are you looking forward to right now? I honestly can't wait for artfight to end so things can be back to normal with my art stuff. I've felt really creatively clogged this month. I'm also really excited to continue the Brigmore Witches Dishonored DLC lmao. I try to only play when my dear friend Green can watch so I don't get lost (and lonely) playing alone.

If you could do anything at all today, what would it be? If it was REALLY anything? I'd like to read. It's been so long since I've actually been able to sit down with a book and finish it outside of a school environment. Something about schools are so different for reading. No book I ever finished at home had the same impact even when I used to like, ONLY read. I started PHM and I never ended up finishing it in time to go see it in theaters.

Drink of choice? For a really long time, it was hot chocolate, but lately I've been really hooked on strawberry lemonade.

Hair routine? Shampoo, conditioner, and a leave-in conditioner spray that my mom gave me for after the shower. I try to do it every time I shower because my hair gets pretty greasy really fast

Favourite way to travel? Is there another you want to try? For long distances? Planes. I get SO carsick it's not even funny I would really like to try by train. they just don't exist near my house 💔

Favourite month and why? October 😽 I love Halloween and the leaves turning to fall colors (because autumn is also my favorite season). I love when everything starts to cool off and it settles in to that peaceful time of the year.

Favourite time of day and why? I like the time between afternoon and evening. And the mornings on good days! I really don't love the middle of the day or the middle of the night.

Do you play or follow any sports? I can folk dance! I don't play any sports or follow any of them.

What kind of music has been stuck in your head lately? I've been listening a lot to "Ash in the Sun" by Vundabar today. For a while "Everybody Wants To Rule The World" was on my mind because I had an animation idea. But because of artfight, I had to put it down for a while.

Dishes or laundry? Dishes, I like doing dishes as long as I'm listening to music.

Something you learned recently? I just heard that Hank Green was using AI and I'm pretty sad about that. I don't really follow him, but I used to watch some of his videos for my classes. On the bright side, there is also so much human art to explore. I was hanging out with my friend who's a few years younger than me and we both analyzed poems together at a new treat place by our houses and that was great. There is so much to learn about people just through our art and how we interpret it

What would you talk about if you could give a TED talk on anything? I was really into expressionist German art for a while, so that or maybe existentialist works of writing? but realistically I'd probably give a presentation on the environment because that's what people need to be hearing and listening to.

Piece of advice you find yourself giving a lot? I tell people to stay away from people who have hurt them in the past because like 99% these people are NOT changing, they just want back in your life. Guess who just did that anyway recently? 😅

Piece of advice you would give yourself five years ago? You still have a Splatoon tournament to win! Keep your chin up and only talk to the people who nourish you and love you

Do you believe in luck and superstition? Do you carry any lucky items or follow any? I do! Like technically I know fate is up to whatever I choose to do but luck does NOT hurt. A few of my teachers have sprinkled glitter on my head before the exams at the end of the year and that is LUCKY I promise you.

Are you musical (play any instruments, sing)? Would you ever perform for an audience? I used to sing when I was in 5th grade (and I was one of the top 3 in my choir group) until 7th grade. I quit in 8th grade to take a year of Orchestra and learn violin. I haven't really properly done either of those in a long time. I don't know if I have any skill with the violin still, but I would love to sing as part of a theatre production if we only practiced it TONS of times before.

Write, type or speak? For communication, speaking is my favorite. I also like sending voice messages to people and using speech to text and imagining what my friends sound like when they send me messages. Something so beautiful about voices

What do you wish someone would ask you? Literally anything. I want to be known so badly and I feel like people don't ask nearly as much as they could to know me better. I also wish people would keep asking when I'm not feeling well. Sometimes I need someone to get in there with surgical tools because it's really hard for me to actually express how I feel just out of nowhere. And then it just stays tucked under my ribs somewhere and like that's not my business I guess

happy ugly crying rn i love tag games

tag game 20 questions <3

1. What's your blog title from?

this meme! if you can even call it a meme. it's one of my favorite text posts.

2. Latest movie? What did you think?

i had a movie night with my niece (5) and nephew (7) where we watched shrek 2 and shrek the third. i, of course, thought the films were fantastic. my niece and nephew were mildly impressed. i credit this partially to their less than incredible attention spans and partially to their harsh standards of what it is to be "cool." i saw them staring at the screen, though. even if they tried to act like they didn't like the movies, i saw their entranced gazes

3. What are you looking forward to right now?

honestly? healing from my eating disorder. i know that's a deep answer for tumblr dot com, but i don't tend to shy away from being honest on here. this blog is my little space where i refuse to fear criticism or judgment. sharing my experiences means someone else may feel a little less alone, and that means the world. part of this answer could be that i'm looking forward to potentially making people smile or feel seen, i guess. i'm also looking forward to finding a job lmao. working on that rn!

4. If you could do anything at all today, what would it be?

i kid you not -- i spen about five minutes typing some abstract philosophical bullshit here and deleted all of it because i realized i was overthinking the question lol. on that note, i'd like to spend a day without overthinking things. a break from the inner mechanitions of my mind would be nice lol

or going to a cool record shop or a live music show. that'd be cool too.

5. Drink of choice?

diet mountain dew. it's my greatest vice and deepest shame.

6. Hair routine?

depends on whether i'm having sensory issues. i have wavy hair, so if i'm feeling my best, i wash it every other day and use a gentle curl cream to scrunch it, then let it air dry. i shower at night so i usually end up going to bed with damp hair, but i don't mind. if i'm overstimulated/tired/depressed, a simple wash and air dry is fine. my hair isn't too frizzy without a styling product.

7. Favorite way to travel? Is there another you want to try?

i don't like travel... mainly because i'm autistic lol. the last trip i went on, i had to come home after only one night. the sheets were a sensory nightmare and everything was too loud, plus i was sharing a room. not a great time. that said, if i can control the sensory stuff and travel in semi-familiar environments? i love to go! i like cruises because all of the activities, locations, and food are taken care of. i've always wanted to travel on a train, but those trips are usually quite expensive.

8. Favorite month and why?

march. flowers, not too hot, no major holidays. don't mention saint patricks. that's not a major holiday in my book.

9. Favorite time of day and why?

just before/right during sunset. not very busy, nice weather, pretty sunset. when the world winds down.

10. Do you play or follow any sports?

nope!

11. What kind of music has been stuck in your head lately?

all kinds. but a lot of Type O Negative and Man In The Box by Alice in Chains. oh, and Comfortable Liar by Chevelle. but i listen to music so much it's almost a problem. because i have sensory issues, putting on my noise cancelling headphones and ignoring the world helps me a lot.

12. Dishes or laundry?

laundry a thousand percent. no nasty water, no slime on my hands, intervals between phases of the task and not having to just power through the whole thing...

13. Something you learned recently?

that healing is both non-linear and always evolving. what "healed" looked like a year ago isn't what "healed" looks like now, or in the future. each day increases my capacity to grow and experience. which is both inspiring and kind of exhausting, honestly.

14. What would you talk about if you could give a TED talk on anything?

the importance of continuing to learn. the importance of striving for excellence. the importance to treat every day as a gift and not a burden. go, feel, experience. it's what makes us human.

or cultural motifs in Genshin Impact. ive already written essays about that in college.

15. Piece of advice you find yourself giving a lot?

to not give up. to keep trying. even if it hurts like hell. especially if it hurts like hell. and that advice is usually accompanied by an extended hand, if i'm able.

16. Piece of advice you would give yourself five years ago?

stop believing it isn't worth it. stop believing you're not worth it. i still have to remind myself, honestly.

17. Do you believe in luck and superstition? Do you carry any lucky items or follow any?

not really... i do believe in a spiritual realm and stuff, but not really in luck

18. Are you musical? Would you ever perform for an audience?

i can (barely) play the saxophone and guitar. playing a reed/brass instrument taught me to use my diaphragm, so i can kind of sing as well. i love singing along to Amy Winehouse songs. I'd perform an instrument in front of people, but i wouldn't sing in front of a crowd. just in front of people i'm really comfortable around. i desperately want to play guitar and piano well and have considered taking lessons. I LOVE MUSIC

19. Write, type, or speak?

depends on what's being said. confession? writing. poems? writing and typing. i love poems btw. love writing them. i wrote one about astarion that i need to post. just remembered that lmao. supported argument> typing. gushing about something? spoken.

typing if there's a high volume of words, writing if it's something i'm processing or something sentimental, rarely talking. my mouth can't keep up with my words. i don't enunciate well and thinking about speaking is overwhelming when i'm just trying to get information *out*

that said, i own some fancy fountain pens

20. What do you wish someone would ask you?

hmmmm. i love it when people ask me what i think about my special interests (bg3 and genshin impact mainly, but also painting and crafting). and i love it when people ask me for music recs.

bonus fun facts:

i make jewelry, my favorite book is Frankenstein, and i take my coffee with fancy sugar and heavy whipping cream. my favorite smells are white florals and coffee beans, especially if it's a chocolate coffee combo. my favorite color is maroon and i fucking LOVE vampires and vampire related media. i thrift a lot of my clothes and i'm a hoarder.

thank you so very much @twilicats for the tag!!

atheist bad driver: I will rely on my own skill to see myself safely home after a mere 8 drinks