bones jones rules supreme

stanky leg

one of my coworkers (a grown ass man) spilled a drink in the drive through and he said “aw, now y’all are gonna beat my ass” and i can’t stop thinking about it

fellas, is it gay to give someone cpr?

at this hour of 11:20 pm, i find myself craving breakfast foods

i love being the “”smart kid”” at a terrible school because i could turn in some absolutely unreadable bullshit and the teacher would still be like “great work!”

can’t stop thinking about Him (spunch bop) 

i don’t know what homestuck is and at this point i’m too afraid to ask

whatever the exact opposite of a foot fetish is, that’s what i have

i don’t understand how people can go to the bathroom while they’re on zoom..... like doesn’t it make you feel weird to hear your classmates and coworkers voices while you’re taking a piss? don’t you get anxious that you accidentally left your microphone on? how do yall play with fire like that

for legal reasons, i sure hope jeff bezos DOES NOT get robbed

seinfeld is like if friends had only chandler, monica, ross, and joey and all of them were mean and poor

don’t ever disrespect weezer like that again