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@randjohnyanez

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Forced Order: āMy Will Never Diesā - Undying Spirit EP (2026)
I hate how I have really post on this. I used to to be good at jotting down my thoughts and feelings in this or even in my journaling. I stopped because most of the stuff I would write about is depressing and it really would be what I am feeling at the time. I can honestly say I and not like that a whole lot it comes and goes and when it come I know how to process the stuff I am feeling toā¦

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Itās been
A gnarly summer let me tell you⦠I really donāt know where to start. I had some mixed emotions on writing this post.. I have been lacking expressing myself lately and I have been bottling up my emotions and I really donāt know where else to express it.. This summer is a summer of growth foresure.. I am learning a whole about myself and my walk with God and personally.. Iāve learned that justā¦
Ok I went on vacation this past week. I went back to Oxnard and let me tell you! I knew it was going to be a unforgettable vacation. Right when I got to the airport I just felt this feeling of change. Itās always weird going back to your home town/city. Well at least I think so. I mean letās be real the environment is what shapes you into the person you are! That with friends and family andā¦
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So I had a thought.. I was talking to my friend about my my business⦠she was like ā why donāt you promote it or talk about it?!ā And it wrecked me.. all these thoughts throughout the day came up and I couldnāt help but think I donāt want to be that guyinsecurities Super busy caught up in my 9-5 Thereās some other stuff as well.. I donāt know why I think the thoughts I think about it. Like theā¦
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NEW YEAR
As I was reading my bible this last couple days and I started Samuel.. man that book.. I love it actually but when I was younger we always had a mentor tell us about the story of samuel and david. So naturally i was like great this book.. lol As I was reading chapter 7 and just coming into the new year I came across this verse.. āAnd Samuel said to all the house of Israel, āIf you are returningā¦
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ZEAL
I have been having a lot of conversations with old friends and reconnecting with them and talking about the past. Music, church, ministry and people played a big role during that time in my life.. We all were a part of the same church and had the same leaders. We all worked at the church wheather it was paid staff or interns. Lots of stuff we talked about here good. God grew us in ministry andā¦
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This time last year
This time lastĀ year
So Let me tell you, you guys this last couple months have been such a transforming season in my life⦠With work and church and the business⦠The joy I once had and that went away has came back.. Itās like a complete 180ā¦I can not help but think about when all that issues that were happening in that season and the depression.. I literally would go to church and i would hear the pastor preach andā¦
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So in the last couple of weeks have been super busy and exhausting! LIKE GOOD BUSY! with work and other projects⦠Also I had a birthday in the beginning of October!!!! What the heckā¦ā¦ Let me just talkking about thatā¦. 30 is not scaryā¦Having a meltdown about turning 30 is normalā¦(Only for the first couple of hours)I am right where I need to be.Reflecting on your 20ās and taking mental notes onā¦
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Breakthrough/Bitterness Part 2
I think this whole month of September I am going to do a series about Breakthrough and Bitterness⦠literally this has been in my heart for about 2 weeks since the first post I have doneā¦. I want to write about the good and bad during this season of processing bitterness into breakthrough⦠I think it will be cool. I am believing for the breakthrough. Lets be honest it is kinda hard⦠it takesā¦
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Breakthrough/ bitterness
Breakthrough Letās talk about this.. Life happens trust me I know that in this season that God had me in this situation right now.. ya know what?? I think I am reacting way way way way better than normal randjohn would act. With my emotional self⦠I so freaking emotional when it comes to life situations.. Iām an over thinker and thatās been my downfall my whole freaking life. May thatās whatā¦
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āI can feel the memories againIn this field of foreign oxygenIām awake without the medicineI forgot the joy of sufferingIād lose it all to find you nowFind you now, find you nowā kings kaleidoscope You know when you are in the same situation as you once was in??? It all feels familiar⦠literally to the āTā and you know what you found the you are finding the whole situation all uncomfortable asā¦
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Today
Sunday fun day Today was a good day I really canāt complain about anything. I really had a hard time sleeping last night I didnāt go to bed til like 4 in the morning! Not the best way to rest on your days off. I couldnāt go to bed because my dog kept on playing with his toy and kept on barking at his bone. Ever since moving to El Paso I canāt help but think that El Paso is such a slow city. Iā¦
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Things that I have to get off my chest now.. My gosh⦠I have to type this stuff and let it go.. I was going to start my blog post for āInthecrate_ā and you know when things bother you and you can not really work good⦠and I have to keep my mind and small business good and I have to be positive with it⦠so I rather just type my crap on here⦠I havenāt really post anything in a while.. and I missā¦
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