Cervantes

I was getting lazier, my drive stopped out of no where, and the effort I was putting forward wasn’t enough.. you might say it wasn’t me but in reality, it clearly was .

I have to learn to move on from this even if the wave comes back in reality, I can’t settle for that. When you love someone, you have to do everything you can to give them what they want even if your heart is saying “wait whoa.. what are you saying and doing ?” But being optimistic was #1 for me about the situation

It leaves me with a very uncomfortable feeling prior to when I have felt these feelings before, I’ve always had a backbone (someone or something to go to ) but this time is very different .. it’s just me this time & the loneliness hits right on that spot ❤️

I have to do my best to keep moving forward cause that’s what I know my mind and body need but man , it sure is hard . Today would have been 4 years & but to know “ we “can’t celebrate that .. hits way different. Crazy to know we made it that far but because our paths and differences in life .. it must go the way it is.

Don’t get me wrong , there’s always the future but what if it happens all over again cause one self can not be found in the abundance of life, it takes lifetimes sometimes which I thought I was a great help for that but things change ❤️‍🩹

I will always hope the best for you and wish you everything you want to achieve in your lifetime but I just don’t know if I can bring myself to love you again cause your independence with the destiny and decision you made 🥺