Jay

Have you eaten?

Have you eaten?

Have you eaten?

Thank...you? I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.

Not too mad. Mostly concerned. Did you steal anything?? Which apartment is this anyways? I own a lot.

Did you fuck with my security system at all? You probably did if you broke in without me knowing...of it's faulty- jesus christ.

it's not FAULTY i just know how to navigate it fine

Well it certainly needs to be upgraded then. I hate you Bats.

we love you too jay<3

Whatever. At least you're not begging me to buy a TV for my safehouses like Steph does.

Not too mad. Mostly concerned. Did you steal anything?? Which apartment is this anyways? I own a lot.

Did you fuck with my security system at all? You probably did if you broke in without me knowing...of it's faulty- jesus christ.

it's not FAULTY i just know how to navigate it fine

Well it certainly needs to be upgraded then. I hate you Bats.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

So I named it Percy. I liked it.

Not too mad. Mostly concerned. Did you steal anything?? Which apartment is this anyways? I own a lot.

Did you fuck with my security system at all? You probably did if you broke in without me knowing...of it's faulty- jesus christ.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

You get caught in your room by the Butler with a few empty bottles, a bag of coke, and a couple cigarette buds and suddenly you can’t go out anymore!!! Unbelievable.

…And you can hardly talk you smoke.

Well my life is already gone so really there's not much else to ruin, and I'm old enough to buy my own cigarettes.

Okay well you came back so stop being all emo. As for the age… UNC!!! Also didn’t you, like, die? I feel like the time you were dead does not count. Your ID is invalid!!

Last I checked the legal drinking and smoking age does not account for a person not mentally being over 21. If it did there would be way less drinkers in the world. Also my ID is invalid because I'm legally dead, not because of the age on it.

Which is a MISTAKE!!! They should totally change that. Just so you can’t. Also you are doing it illegally then! Do people ever give you weird looks besides your ID says the name of a famously dead kid? Do you just tell them it’s a coincidence?

...Bella my ID is fake. It has an alias on it. I go by an alias in my day-to-day. A mixture of different aliases actually, I've got a few of them.

WHAT??? What’s the alias? I did not know this and I feel betrayed. It makes a whole lot more sense, though… Can I get one??

No, last I checked you were on house arrest.

BOOOOOOO!!!! I won’t be for long. I’ll ask my Clown to break me out and kidnap me then I’ll be free.

Your clown?? What? Keep that thing away from me.

See reactions like this make me want to let her loose on you just to watch your reaction…

I own like, way too many guns, Bella. I will use them.

Hey!! Don’t shoot my clown. I’m the only one that gets to seriously maim her.

Then don't let her near me?? Why do you have a clown? Does B know about that?

No?? I don’t control her??? She’s like free range. She’s a free range clown. I didn’t MEAN to acquire her. She just kind of showed up and never left. No, B does not know… Yet…. Look, I’m finding a way to tell him. I’m new to this as well!

You just said you'd send her after me like she was some sort of attack dog, and also kept saying you "have" a clown, forgive me for thinkin' you had some control in this situation. What the fuck even is "this" in the first place?

Well she’s mine and I theoretically could control her but I don’t want to. It’s way too fun to see what she gets up to. I don’t know. Some weird situationship that’s not quite a relationship but also is???? Dude, I have no idea.

Right...well tell your clown to stay the fuck away from me. You need professional help.

1) No, it’s funnier this way. I thrive on the mental image of you constantly worried she’ll pop out from nowhere. 2) Yeah, yeah, I’m working on it.

I will shoot her if she does, I do not care that you have some weird Stockholm Syndrome esc gay relationship with her. I sleep with a gun under my pillow for a reason.

That is so weird… Why the hell do you sleep with a gun??!

Also I don't give enough shits to practice proper trigger discipline.

You get caught in your room by the Butler with a few empty bottles, a bag of coke, and a couple cigarette buds and suddenly you can’t go out anymore!!! Unbelievable.

…And you can hardly talk you smoke.

Well my life is already gone so really there's not much else to ruin, and I'm old enough to buy my own cigarettes.

Okay well you came back so stop being all emo. As for the age… UNC!!! Also didn’t you, like, die? I feel like the time you were dead does not count. Your ID is invalid!!

Last I checked the legal drinking and smoking age does not account for a person not mentally being over 21. If it did there would be way less drinkers in the world. Also my ID is invalid because I'm legally dead, not because of the age on it.

Which is a MISTAKE!!! They should totally change that. Just so you can’t. Also you are doing it illegally then! Do people ever give you weird looks besides your ID says the name of a famously dead kid? Do you just tell them it’s a coincidence?

...Bella my ID is fake. It has an alias on it. I go by an alias in my day-to-day. A mixture of different aliases actually, I've got a few of them.

WHAT??? What’s the alias? I did not know this and I feel betrayed. It makes a whole lot more sense, though… Can I get one??

No, last I checked you were on house arrest.

BOOOOOOO!!!! I won’t be for long. I’ll ask my Clown to break me out and kidnap me then I’ll be free.

Your clown?? What? Keep that thing away from me.

See reactions like this make me want to let her loose on you just to watch your reaction…

I own like, way too many guns, Bella. I will use them.

Hey!! Don’t shoot my clown. I’m the only one that gets to seriously maim her.

Then don't let her near me?? Why do you have a clown? Does B know about that?

No?? I don’t control her??? She’s like free range. She’s a free range clown. I didn’t MEAN to acquire her. She just kind of showed up and never left. No, B does not know… Yet…. Look, I’m finding a way to tell him. I’m new to this as well!

You just said you'd send her after me like she was some sort of attack dog, and also kept saying you "have" a clown, forgive me for thinkin' you had some control in this situation. What the fuck even is "this" in the first place?

Well she’s mine and I theoretically could control her but I don’t want to. It’s way too fun to see what she gets up to. I don’t know. Some weird situationship that’s not quite a relationship but also is???? Dude, I have no idea.

Right...well tell your clown to stay the fuck away from me. You need professional help.

1) No, it’s funnier this way. I thrive on the mental image of you constantly worried she’ll pop out from nowhere. 2) Yeah, yeah, I’m working on it.

I will shoot her if she does, I do not care that you have some weird Stockholm Syndrome esc gay relationship with her. I sleep with a gun under my pillow for a reason.

You get caught in your room by the Butler with a few empty bottles, a bag of coke, and a couple cigarette buds and suddenly you can’t go out anymore!!! Unbelievable.

…And you can hardly talk you smoke.

Well my life is already gone so really there's not much else to ruin, and I'm old enough to buy my own cigarettes.

Okay well you came back so stop being all emo. As for the age… UNC!!! Also didn’t you, like, die? I feel like the time you were dead does not count. Your ID is invalid!!

Last I checked the legal drinking and smoking age does not account for a person not mentally being over 21. If it did there would be way less drinkers in the world. Also my ID is invalid because I'm legally dead, not because of the age on it.

Which is a MISTAKE!!! They should totally change that. Just so you can’t. Also you are doing it illegally then! Do people ever give you weird looks besides your ID says the name of a famously dead kid? Do you just tell them it’s a coincidence?

...Bella my ID is fake. It has an alias on it. I go by an alias in my day-to-day. A mixture of different aliases actually, I've got a few of them.

WHAT??? What’s the alias? I did not know this and I feel betrayed. It makes a whole lot more sense, though… Can I get one??

No, last I checked you were on house arrest.

BOOOOOOO!!!! I won’t be for long. I’ll ask my Clown to break me out and kidnap me then I’ll be free.

Your clown?? What? Keep that thing away from me.

See reactions like this make me want to let her loose on you just to watch your reaction…

I own like, way too many guns, Bella. I will use them.

Hey!! Don’t shoot my clown. I’m the only one that gets to seriously maim her.

Then don't let her near me?? Why do you have a clown? Does B know about that?

No?? I don’t control her??? She’s like free range. She’s a free range clown. I didn’t MEAN to acquire her. She just kind of showed up and never left. No, B does not know… Yet…. Look, I’m finding a way to tell him. I’m new to this as well!

You just said you'd send her after me like she was some sort of attack dog, and also kept saying you "have" a clown, forgive me for thinkin' you had some control in this situation. What the fuck even is "this" in the first place?

Well she’s mine and I theoretically could control her but I don’t want to. It’s way too fun to see what she gets up to. I don’t know. Some weird situationship that’s not quite a relationship but also is???? Dude, I have no idea.

Right...well tell your clown to stay the fuck away from me. You need professional help.