petrichor

feeling like i lose all sense of myself with people i am attracted to

To that little voice in my head reading these words as i type them. How did you get here? and when?

I understand why we need to be educated. If we weren't i would not be typing my thoughts at the moment...or would i? I would like an explanation of why we have to stay in class room for 10 months a year for 8 hours a day.

Are we lying when we say "I'll see you tomorrow!"

Money. That's how i will travel the world. A tree was cut down, paper was made, and we have a very valuable piece of paper. Not everyone has it. Some people have a lot of it. Everyone wants it. Do we need it? Would are world fall to pieces if our paper had no value? The thing is our paper will have always had value. When it was whole and when it was nature, it would help us to breathe!

I had a long shower and it got me thinking. Thinking about the things i would like for my future and the things that i won't. For one, i want to have a pet but at the same time i don't. I have a goldfish. Its name is Gibby and he's four years old. I got him at our town fair and it's been swimming ever since. Gibby is amazing but am i trapping him? Occasionally i wish he would die because i feel Gibby deserves better. Gib is confined to his tank and it breaks my heart to know that he was bred just to die. Then again, that's all of us. We were bred and brought into this world to...? I will honestly never understand. To go through this cycle and follow societal norms that a person created? I don't think i can do it. Human interaction is what a human needs. Yes, when i go to school i am surrounded by living breathing humans but there just aren't enough of them. The amount of people on this planet and i can only account for a bag of m&m's worth. I want to see, feel, and experience the world. Can i?

Maybe I should pack my things and move on? Maybe I'm foolin' myself and you're already gone? Watching the flames wither and fade. Trying to make sense of the look on your face. I'm down on my knees Just prayin' that I can hold on.