Rainbow

One year ago today I posted this miniature Star Wars Andor inspired photo I created. Shot practically using real figures, lighting & a couple of broom heads to create a crop field and a few perspective cheats.

me: im disabled and have limits

when you have been socially punished out of articulating how and why you are struggling with something and what supports you need to do better, and the dominant framework in society is "people fail due to some Inner Personal Defect" well

And it's a shame. Always a shame when Shane Hollander looks away. He is stingy with his glances; his eyes seek surface elsewhere almost all of the time. Then, when he looks at you—really looks at you—you can be sure he means it. You can be sure every part of him wants to see you, and being seen by him—it's a physical sensation that rolls through you like a tidal wave. Ilya misses it every time it retreats.

Like, "unmasking" is a choice that involves intentionally putting yourself in social situations which are likely to induce punishment/are likely to be very aversive, due to the way people are likely to respond to autistic behavior. That's. Really hard. And I don't think you can choose to try to do that without first having the distress tolerance skills and self insight to truly be able to consent to handling the likely outcome of what we call "unmasking." it involves an understanding of the societal sickness that is behavior policing and being able to see just how far that behavior policing reaches into every aspect of our lives... It honestly has just as much to do with learning to understand society/community dynamics and other people as it does with learning to understand yourself, if not MORESO

Something that I really appreciated about HR was that Shane and Ilya were actually rivals, they were actually competitive. Yes it was also more mediaplay and the public pitting them against each other but they did feel the competition in many ways across the years.

My mind is still reeling from the implications of what Taliesin said in that interview about Bolaire being created not only to kill gods, but to overthrow all kinds of tyranny. I mean, first of all, based based based, but also:

I love how greedy and indulgent Ilya is in sex with Shane. He’s so wrapped up in his own pleasure that he can’t even hide how dizzy it makes him. He’s panting, he’s moaning, he’s groaning, his mouth is hanging open, he’s yelling Shane’s last name, his temple veins are throbbing, he’s red in the face and sweating.

Shane once accidentally leaves his silicone wedding ring, that he wears during practice and games, at home. So he's not wearing a ring during one of their games against Montreal. And of course Ilya notices and will not let Shane forget it for a second. He spends the whole match pretending to be offended.