I'm not lost because I want to be

I think comments like that could help the team in two ways. One, they could laugh them off, together. And by that I don’t mean Tony wouldn’t feel honest guilt (it’s Tony, his guilt issues have issues) but because in a life like theirs you have to be able to laugh it off and move on, that’s the only thing you can do. And they get that. It could help them share this sense of understanding. And through that better relate to Tony.

Then there’s the possibility that they really hear the self-deprecation and realise  how much the self-blame is wearing Tony down. Now whilst that realisation might range from a slap in the face to a confirmation of something they’ve already known (depending their relationship with Tony, their attentiveness etc), understanding doesn’t mean they know how to fix it. Emotionally and mentally stable isn’t exactly part of the usual Avengers’ profile.

So, since comforting isn’t their strength - and this isn’t the sort of problem that’s quickly resolved by a single word of reassurance anyways - they’ll go with distraction. Distracting by teasing Tony about something silly he’s guaranteed to be embarrassed by. Distracting him by sharing their own failures. Distracting by saying something nice to him. Distracting him by talking about the latest crazy shit that’s happened to them.

(Yes, I headcanon that they all have Avoidance issues with a capital ‘A’.)

Tony didn’t “make the law” he was just following them. It is ultimately Clint’s choice to break the law. And Steve is a good boy. You know he gave Barton the option to opt out because Clint had family and he doesn’t wanna take him from that unless Clint is completely willing to break the law for Steve’s sake. Clint made the conscious choice to leave his family below the law and break it to help Steve. The only reason Barton is in there are  his own actions, not Tony’s.

Tony is right in this gifset. Clint is in there for breaking the law. Does Tony want them in there? No. Obviously he doesn’t like seeing his friends in a prison meant for overpowered villains. His friends aren’t villains. He knows that and just because you have an overpowering hate towards Tony doesn’t mean you get to bend and change how he feels about stuff to fit your hating agenda. 

Let’s pretend that this isn’t an Avengers movie, and that this isn’t Wanda (oh sweet innocent child >.>). What if a police officer had just accidentally shot an innocent person, while pursuing a bad guy. 

This is obviously a bad thing, and the cop would be subject to review to understand what went wrong and how to fix it. Now what if the cop refused to be subjected to the board of review, and instead claimed, he had done nothing wrong. 

When told “The public is afraid of you, you have a gun, and you are clearly willing to use it.” The police officer denies all responsibility for the people’s fear. Yet he created it. 

When you are the cause of innocent deaths and you refuse to take responsibility for your actions. You will scare people. That is your fault, and there is something you can do to control their fear. Take some goddamn responsibility. Do not brush off people’s fear as if it was not your problem. When you have power over someone, and they tell you that they are scared, listen. 

To be honest you had me at ‘ace Tony’, anon :) You really can’t expect me to resist that. Seriously, I adore writing ace characters (like half the main characters in my non-fanfic works are ace, just because I can).

Since you didn’t specify on anything regarding the plot I just went with a short scene from one of my many not-ready-to-be-posted headcanon ‘verses. I hope it works for you and that this ficlet will make you feel a little better! Also I turned it into a Valentine’s story because I keep seeing these cute Valentine’s cards on my dash.

[Set in a College AU following the tale of Player!Bucky and Asexual!Tony trying to make it work. Today’s edition: Valentine’s Day. Including slight misunderstandings, declarations of love affection, fluff, and Bucky’s potty mouth.]

‘You know I’m ace, right?’ isn’t the reaction Bucky’s been hoping for, but it’s also not a door slammed shut in his face, so he counts it as a win.

Tony squints suspiciously at the roses in Bucky’s arms—yellow and red ones because those are his favourite colours, and Bucky is nothing if not a huge sap, apparently—and Bucky has no doubt the flowers will end up cut open on a lab table, to be thoroughly tested for any unsavourily additions, before the day is over.

He probably shouldn’t smile fondly at the cruel fate lying in these poor flowers’ future. He definitely shouldn’t.

Damn it. Nat’s right, he’s got it bad.

“Unless ace stands for ‘allergic to roses’ I fail to see your point.” Bucky smiles and hopefully holds the bouquet out for Tony to take. Because continuing to cling to them like a toddler to a plushy might look a little silly.

Tony refuses to take them though, crosses his arms in front of his chest instead and scowls up at Bucky. Which is not adorable, that would just be ridiculous.

sorry, I didn’t make it till Valentine’s Day but here’s Tony presenting Bucky with a plushie for @darkflame :D 

Follow-up to this. Ah, this headcanon is a thing of beauty. Thank you, anon! *sighs dreamily* 

Rhodey would definitely know about it. Tony was probably a lot easier to read back in college, and the whole twisting his hands thing was one of the first ticks Rhodey noticed. 

It was probably Rhodey’s idea for Tony to use flashcards during presentations - Tony initially protested because his memory is great, ok, he doesn’t need notes to remember what to say (actually he’s so nervous, he always practices his presentations until he literally recites them in his sleep) - but their point isn’t to serve as a reminder, it’s for Tony to have something to hold on to.

As they grow older Tony gets better and better at hiding his thoughts and emotions. His face, his expressions, he can’t always control, but he’s very good at playing them off in whichever way he needs them to be. It’s his hands though that are always a genuine sign for his distress. And to Rhodey, that’s also the sign that he needs to intervene. (Or that Tony is serious about whichever topic they talk, it depends a lot on the social context.)

Sometimes that means cutting into a conversation and stealing Tony away for a national ‘emergency’. Sometimes that means taking a hold of Tony’s hands and squeezing them gently, to remind the genius that he has someone to hold on to. Sometimes that means bodily putting himself between Tony and Captain AmericaSteve Rogers.

OMG :D I AM SO HERE FOR THA- *clears throat* What I meant to say was Hey there!  We can absolutely look at this gif. We can look at this gif for hours. We can look at this gif for days. We can look at this gif for the rest of our live- CAN I JUST SAY I LIVE FOR TONY IN HOODIES OK THANKS BYE!!!

It’s the one weakness Tony still hasn’t managed to train out of himself. He can look entirely unimpressed, he has his face under total control, he can keep from flinching or successfully play it off but his hands are the one part of him that always betrays his nerves. He just can’t stop playing with his fingers or fiddling with the hem of his shirt and most times he doesn’t even notice it happening. To combat that he usually keeps something in his hands, like a pen or a cup or whatever, just so he can hold on to something and keep his hands still.

Link to the gif can be found in this post.

Rhodey would not have stood a chance, alright? Alright. He’d have fallen in love with Tony ALL OVER AGAIN, gaping like a fool (Clint has the footage to prove it, and Rhodey’s gonna activate the hidden lasers in the air shafts one of these days). 

Rhodey would spend the entire drive mentally running through all the worst case scenarios he can imagine. And, thanks in parts to his friendship with Tony Stark, he can imagine some pretty bad things. So when Tony, still absolutely mortified and fidgety, finally tells him the entire story, he’d be SO damn relieved. He might laugh himself sick, not necessarily because he finds it all that funny, but because it’s so much less bad than what could have been.