sarà sempre “uno di noi”, non uno dei tanti

lets’s start with a fun fact (because i don’t think there is another interaction of them before f1, sadly) BUT did you know that they asked seb who would he cheer for if he wasn't in f1 and (shocker, i know) he chose kimi. i don’t think anyone is surprised considering that seb spends half his time in interviews telling everyone how good and amazing kimi is. so real king!!! (also delicious info for any wag au enjoyers out there. like me)

2006: this isn’t directly simi BUT did you know that seb’s suit in 2009 when he was in f3 is actually super similar to kimi’s suit design when he was in rally in 2012? you didn’t? too bad now you do! and yes btw they both look amazing in them <333 pics here if you don’t want to see the post (you definitely should tho)

also did you know that kimi still grunts and slaps his hand like he did when they met. yeah… totally normal thing to say about your best friend. totally

2007: did you know that during the 2007 usa gp, kimi called of his finnish friend at a karaoke and told him to sing because he missed home and felt lonely? how does this relate to simi you ask? well. that’s the same gp seb debuted in aka the gp where they properly met the first time. yk when kimi took it upon himself to not treat seb like he was treated when he came into the sport. and then seb was consequently always there for kimi, even in other ventures (like the finland rally in 2009)? yeah. if that doesn’t scream ‘soulmates’ idk what does…also kimi went to the end of the year’s party that redbull hosted and definitely fucked se[GUNSHOT]. also… yeah i just need you all to know that also happened. his sun came to rescue him :)))

rip sun tattoo. you will be missed for your silliness

2008: ok from here we have SO many good moments so buckle up. beginning from the fact that these two were ALWAYS together doing drivers parades. which would be like normal if you didn’t consider the fact seb was literally a rookie this year and kimi was the reigning champion…and yet they were literally always together. you want examples? sure. valencia. spain. silverstone. canada. hungary, look at them being so iconic with their fuckass glasses <333. you think i’m done? no way. have baharain and the most iconic one of them all. china <333 (something so personal about simi and china. but i guess we all know this don’t we)

2009: idk how this didn’t come up in the last simi 101 but SPA 2009!!! aka first podium together :) (of many ofc. tell that to 2010 seb because i KNOW he is yearning for them) (and yes there is two links there. thank me later). oh and let’s not forget the post race ;) also did you know that in 2009 while he was fighting for his first championship seb said he thinks about kimi’s situation and that no one thought he would win but he wouldn’t give up? (oh baby you have sooooo much coming your way <333)

2010: kimi was asked about who was going to win the wdc this year. he said it hard to say but he was going to award it to who he liked. i think you know who that is (yes he said seb of course he said seb. and seb won in the end. sobbing a lil bit). also did you know seb was thinking about kimi while winning the title? yeah. YEAH… also this is the year when they got the matching bikes <333

2011: since autosport has already been said last time: did you know that even tommi knew seb had a crush on kimi because he said he knows seb is happy about kimi returning even if they didn’t really talk about it? i love how seb sometimes tries to be subtle but like everyone and their mother knows they are queer asf. gotta love my favorite kimi simp <333

2012: idk how to tell you this but when i said literally the whole season… I MEANT IT. these idiots were attached. to. the. HIP (by which part? i think you can tell. when i said crotch to crotch i was serious). which means i get to share two of my favourite bits of info about them this season! first of all we all know about seb going up to kimi’s room with the secret elevator, BUT before that, him and kimi did a lil challenge together (puzzles and table football, there is a lot to say about this one as well but we will not think about it for the sake of this post) and then seb talked about it after in his personal diary and let me tell you. if that is not giving “guy with a huge crush on his best friend that he can’t talk to him about just writes it down on his (not so much in this case) secret diary” and i think that’s beautiful <333. and then…there is the 2012 fia gala…now, remembering that these two were, in fact, in different teams, i’m going to tell you that not only seb went to kimi’s table to talk to talk to him beinng all silly and smiling BUT also when seb got his award kimi smiled at him. in the era where every single other driver (apart from michael. sorry king i love u) hated seb’s guts with a passion and that award means that they didn’t win. i will forever be in love with the way kimi was always so supportive of seb, and i think everyone else should be too. goals!!! get yourself a man like kimi!!! <333

2013: there is so much so say about this year. like that one time kimi touched seb’s ass while he was casually walking (*cough cough*) and that one time they got married on a flight (iykyk). or there is also that one time seb could feel kimi coming. or maybe that one time that the chinese fans printed out photos that depicted them as a married couple and made them sign them (sidenote but round of applause for the chinese fans on this because they have always been the GOATs of simi. remember the banners and gadgets they had about them‼️). or that one time kimi offered seb and heikki a ride in his buggy and seb immediately jumped (ya get it?) on the opportunity (yes ik i’m the funniest person ever (in my dreams)). oh and did you know that seb chose a (seemingly) random photo of him and kimi together in korea as one of his favorite photos of the year? (link missing for this one, if anyone has it PLEASE let me know). we still don’t know what that means but if we had to guess then they fu[GUNSHOT]

2014: again, the whole season is FILLED with stuff BUT oh my god the last race was acc insane. the fact that they asked seb how he sees the collaboration with kimi and he does this SMUG ASS SMILE because he KNOWS kimi is insane for him and him alone. absolute cinema. never change king <333. AND THEN after the last race of the season, when redbull decided seb couldn’t test for ferrari, and so he took it upon himself to be the best wag ever? kimi is truly a blessed man. also there is so much of seb reassuring everyone that him and kimi would be great teammates and they would be good and they would be loyals (yeah i’m sure you are loyal you have been waiting for this moment since you came into f1 sldksk)

2015: and again, this the season where seb was in his internalized homophobia phase AND YET they literally almost kissed AT THE FIRST FUCKING RACE OF THE SEASON. CAN YOU TWO BE NORMAL ABOUT EACH OTHER FOR ONCE??? (no). also i cannot reiterate enough how much what kimi said in singapore 2015 causes me emotional damage because wdym “this yeas is the best i’ve ever had in any team” and “i would prefer he is here and wins and i’m in third than he is in another team”. kimi what the FUCK. but dw guys seb was NOT better. they try REALLY hard to be normal about each other and they fail every single time it’s crazy

2016: did you know that seb and kimi went to a motocross event together and kimi went like the day before getting married (no i’m not joking) amd wasn’t there the whole weekend but you know who was? seb. and you know who on the day of kimi’s wedding slutted out on that fucking even? sebastian mf vettel. he was truly telling kimi who he should have married that day and yet 😔 also that one time a fucking hungarian sports journal discovered simi or the “no more brangelina but at least we still have seb and kimi’s bromance” like. everyone knew what was up

2017: “seb is happy with kimi as a teammate it’s clear to everyone” and once again they fail to be subtle about how much they love each other. INSANE. also there DEFINITELY was something in the air in hungary bc THIS is also them in that same gp (although you COULD argue there is something in the air in every gp. and you would be absolutely right). also don’t you love that they never leave room for jesus? no bc i do. very much so. and btw this was the year when seb decided to fully commit to ferrari because he thought kimi would be his teammate for the whole time, with kimi being a crucial part to him staying. if that’s not soulmatism idk what is honestly

2018: the fia gala the fia gala OH MY GOD THE FIA GALA WAS FUCKING INSANE. ik this is probably cheating but i’m begging look at this post like. kimi’s protective mind at work is something that is SO important. sososososo important <333 also that one time they adopted a kid together jk jk but it’s adorable and also we all know kimi went more than willi g bc seb and he loves kids <333. also they are married, they just are and we LOVE supportive husbands <333. more on this later

2019: ”we didn’t lose him” and “it won’t be the same let’s put it that way”. sebastian please. PLEASE we know you two are in love but why do you have to rip my heart out like that. and if you think kimi is better, THINK AGAIN. they just both are like that™️. also, did you know kimi is very handsome? no bc seb REALLY wants you to know that. oh and remember, nothing wrong with the germans (seb pls do not put him in the dog house he did not mean it like that. and he said sorry!!!

2020: there is not much this year (again, possibly the year they decided to be more private about their relationship plus well. covid) but have this lil thing of them talking :D

2021: return to (relative) normalcy means them returning to be MORE gay with their many meetings in drivers parades or even during the anthems (ook at seb still holding the umbrella for both of them <333 some things really never change <333). they truly fascinate me like no one else does. and this is also the year when kimi was being a particularly supportive husband <333

2022: kimi retired but NOT in seb’s heart (him starting to say bwoah too). and the beyond the grid episode for those who have not seen the transcript!!! also did you know that the vettel household watched kimi in nascar??? i just KNOW he is the favorite son-in-law 😩

bonus round! : listen call me delusional how much you want (and you are. possibly right) BUT there has been many instances of them being in the same general place together at the same time. which could mean nothing. also seb started kimiposting (FINALLY BTW THAT TOOK SO LONG)

oof, that was a long one, wasn’t it? sorry i know it’s a lot (and again, this is most definitely NOT everything about them there is), but this time i REALLY wanted to do them justice. my name is not raikkonenvettels for nothing, after all!

but apart from all of that, if you have reached this point, thank you SO incredibly much for reading this! i most definitely appreciate it because this one was a little monster to do (worth it tho, for sure)

AND very importantly i want to say a BIG thank you to @backmarkerr for having the most organized blog in this fandom, without it i wouldn’t have even THOUGHT about doing something like this! so very very very big and sincere thank you, grazie mille davvero. and also, big thank you to every single person that has created something about simi (especially if one of your posts is here <333) or is simply just here for the ride. thank you all for existing, dear similians <333

sorry for the sappy ending there, let me end with a visual representation of me doing this post