The Raiblog

https://twitter.com/Oaidae

my art’s all over there lately, because social media sucks and I can only mentally handle maintaining one hellsite account at a time I guess.

blob adventures continues over on my website at http://entanma.com/nhimor/ (which is also linked in my twitter bio), although it’s been on hiatus for a little while now.

The space-buns totally freaked out when they saw my random scribbles! Their eyes lit right up and they made all kinds of weird sounds at each other that I didn’t really understand...but I could tell they were just as excited as I was about meeting someone! They took me into their spaceship, I got to see a bunch of neat shiny stuff, and then they gave me a bunch of food! It was the best day ever, and I wanted every day to feel like that!

I hung out with the buns all the time after that. Communication was a problem for awhile, but eventually I found out they were from the sky, and they were called Tconaras. For some reason the weird sounds they made started making sense to me real quick, the more I heard them...but I had no idea how to make those special noises back. I wouldn’t learn how to actually talk to people until like...years later.

The Zoincaillan language has innate magical properties that allow its meaning to be conveyed to all who hear it, even if they have not had prior exposure to it. However, speaking it is still a skill that must be learned.

Yeah, that’s why you hyoomans can tell what I’ve been saying this whole time! ...or at least, I really hope you can. Otherwise you’re probably really confused right now!

Anyway, the Tconaras were total newbies to the wastelands of Syndomera. Even though I couldn’t talk yet, they relied on me to guide them around as they explored the place. I did my best to steer them clear of dangerous stuff...but sometimes, the dangerous stuff finds you.

This is what I meant when I said a lot of other blobs aren’t very nice...if you meet an ozecium here, it’s almost always bad news. We can and will eat basically anything, but nothing’s more delicious than another living thing. The moment we ran into another blob, they just wanted to eat everyone!

We were all totally outmatched. There’s not a lot of stuff that can hurt an ozecium, and I didn’t have nearly enough biomass to absorb the other blob. But still...! There was no way I was gonna just let my friends get eaten alive...so I reached out to the other blob with my mind, and let my cells talk to the other blob’s cells. I wanted to tell them about how nice the buns were, and all the amazing things I learned about the world...and that maybe we could even be friends too...

...it was a really really bad idea! Remember how I said there’s not a lot of stuff that can hurt an ozecium? Well, this is one of those things! The other blob’s mind was so much bigger than mine...I started to lose myself, like, instantly. If I didn’t do something quick, every instance of me in the area was gonna become part of that jerk, all at once! 

...whew, well whatever. The point is I was living in a post-apocalyptic wasteland and it wasn’t great. The days all kind of blur together here, since you’re almost never gonna see the suns here anyway. Honestly it feels like I must’ve spent years and years on autopilot...

But you know what? While I was just sliding around from meal to meal, trying to survive or whatever...I started feeling weird after awhile. Like no matter what I ate, I was still hungry somehow. But not for like, anything I could see or touch. It didn’t make sense and nothing I did would make it go away! I kept wanting to just...look at things, and think about them, even if they weren’t tasty or currently trying to kill me. 

And then it happened...

PEOPLE!!

I couldn’t believe it...I didn’t even know what I was looking at! I was scared out of my mind!  I ran away before they could see me.

But that one weird feeling from earlier...it got stronger than ever, too! I was shaking, I was turning colors I didn’t even know existed! I watched the creatures from a distance for awhile...they had a weird shiny house that reminded me of all the broken stuff that’s lying around here, except not broken? I’m pretty sure I had never seen something that wasn’t broken before!

I couldn’t help myself...I waited until they were gone and then slithered my way over to their “house.” The weird squiggly lines on some of their stuff reminded me of the weird shapes I always saw carved in the ruins, and that gave me an idea...maybe, if I shaped myself like them and drew the best squiggly lines I could think of, they would think I was one of them! I found a piece of debris and got to work, eagerly waiting for them to come back...

I was so proud. 

You know, before I get too far into showing you this place, I think I wanna step back and explain just what it was like growing up here...cuz honestly? It’s like coming from a whole different world.

Hey tridenthead, do that thing where you can put what’s in my head on the screen! I’m thinking of something from a long time ago.

Linking with user [NHIMOR]...

Detecting mental images...

1 image identified. Displaying now.

Yeah, that’s the one. I landed my ship in the drylands today, but in this picture I’m somewhere much more wet and squelchy. 

Look at me there, I wonder if you guys can even recognize me! I was different back then...a dirtier, more blobby kind of blob. With no friends. Heck, I didn’t even know what talking was. There was no TV shows, no internet, no video games, no hot fairies, no cheese, no cats...

If you wanted a house, your best bet was to find little crevices among all the old crumbling debris that’s all over the place here. I remember I was always curious about where this stuff came from, because it was all just kind of 'there', you know?  

Many of the artificial structures and objects found on the surface of Syndomera are the remnants of various Neraphine civilizations that had once lived there. Legends and historical records allude to years of war and strife following the fragmentation of an ancient kingdom called Caelestis.

Hey, it’s me again! Since you last saw me, I just landed my ship on a whole new world...except for me, it’s not new at all. 

That’s right, I decided I’m gonna show you my home planet next! Remember way far back when I was walking in the rain on Alakinec and I talked about it a little? I showed you a picture of it and everything, it's called Syndomera and it looks kinda like this:

Warning! The surface conditions of planet Syndomera are hostile to most forms of life. Exiting the ship right now without proper safety equipment may put you at risk of fatal irradiation, lung damage, suffocation, eye damage, skin damage, nausea, mental assault, mercury poisoning...

For the last time, I’m an Ozecium!  Yeah I know my home world sucks, and yeah my track record for not following safety warnings and then getting immediately owned has been kind of high lately. But I literally lived here for years! This is where I came from!

Acknowledged. Disabling safety locks.

Current environment is hostile to my systems. 

Engaging personal PSI shield, at setting 3e. 

Breathing has been set to filtered mode. 

So, this is the place where I grew up! Well sort of. I mean blobs don’t really grow into anything specific, and I didn’t actually grow up here in particular, but I think you know what I mean. 

Anyway, Syndomera’s a big dump with lots of ruins and wastelands. It’s still got...some stuff, though. Like those red plant things, those still grow in a lot of places. Some scientists said the plants feed off of radiation instead of sunlight, cuz the sunlight here sucks. I guess they also don’t need much water, cuz right now we’re in the drylands where there’s no water and the ground flakes and crumbles apart like way-too-burnt cheesebread. You get tired of how the red plants taste after awhile but in a lot of cases the other options for a blob to eat are dirty water or just plain dirt.

Yo everyone, what’s up? 

...trick question! I’m up, baby!

I’m at the groundport! It’s like the airport but it takes you up to the ground instead of the sky. After I freaked that professor guy out by growing a new head, I found some other cute cats who were heading to the surface and now I’m here!

 You’re talking about cute cats like you’re not one already, man.

Hehe, yeah you make a great kitera!

Awww, you guys are making me get all pink on camera!

Hope that’s a good thing. Kiteras can’t see that color, so I wouldn’t know.

Definitely a good thing! I’m finally back on the surface again and I had no idea how much I missed the sunlight! And there’s still so many cool places and people and stuff to show everyone!

You tell ‘em, big guy!

Wooooo! See you two later, I’m gonna go to space again!

This is all interesting stuff, but I’m kinda just now realizing something...

I’m starving! I’ve been wandering around the underground for like forever, and the last thing I ate was that one fish I caught back when I was on the surface! You got anything I can eat?

Oh, hrm...I do have a leftover granite and tourmaline wrap from earlier. I suppose you can have it if you want. It’s, ah, sitting next to that stack of books over there. 

Wow, this looks delicious! Thanks so much!

No problem! I ordered too much food earlier, but now I won’t need to worry about it going to waste.

Are you sure you can eat it though? We kiteras have a rather unique diet among the people of Zoincailla. The main ingredient in that wrap is... literally rocks, with some lettuce and tomatoes and meat mixed in.

Nah, don’t worry about it. Ozecia can eat almost anything anyway. Organic stuff usually tastes better and dissolves way faster, but I was on Alakinec earlier and one of the restaurants there served me a cube of soil, and that was still pretty good!

Mmmmm...wow! That really hit the spot!

I should get going before Ban-Ban misses me too much. Have fun, you two!~

Alright, see ya later! Thanks for the lift!

Right, so anyway...you wanted me to contribute to your documentary, yes? What would you like me to talk about?

Well, me and my squid already showed the hyoomens those ruins you’ve been studying, but they don’t really know much about actual kiteras yet!

...and actually, *I* have a question I wanna ask first. How come some kiteras walk on all fours like you, but others walk around on two legs?

Ah, that’s...a more basic question than I was expecting.

In any case the answer to that is simple: kiteras have a unique form of sexual dimorphism. Males like myself are typically quadrupedal, and possess strong forelimbs with hard mineral plating on them. 

Meanwhile female kiteras typically stand upright, supported by two strong hindlegs with tough plated feed.

So if I wanna look manly and cool in front of a cute cat, I should try standing on four legs?

Ah? Uh...yes, I suppose in a sense you could maybe say that...

Forgive me, I had...actually thought you were a woman, to be honest.

Huh...well, I think I’m a “he,” but in my species everyone’s kinda ladies and dudes at the same time anyway? We’re all just blobs and we can’t tell the difference!

Well in any case, ancient kitera society was largely matriarchal in nature. The twin pyramids you saw are the resting place of a pair of ancient queens.

Subjects identified as  Queen Seralda VI, and Queen Ihrmneb. As was tradition, a pair of queens ruled over the ancient Kitera of this time, believed to be the living incarnations of the sun goddesses that the kiteras worshiped. 

That’s correct. Their Highnesses were both central figures of society, and were revered as deities. It was also believed that one day, the Third Sun would be found in the center of Rhiotara, and from it would emerge a Third Pharaoh, who would unite with her fellow queens and bring us all into the True Surface, above even the sky.

Knock knock~ It’s me again! And I’ve brought another friend!

Yeah that’s right, Nhimor’s in the house!

Oh...well hello there. Another of Baanthie’s friends, I take it?

I mean, kinda? I dunno, Baanthie’s really cool but I don’t really see her very much. Mostly we just both know Lymia I guess. She’s also where I got the idea to make an educational internet vlog webumentary thing that I’m working on.

That sounds about right. She can be rather...elusive among her peers. I was surprised she’d even contacted me about this current expedition in the first place.

Aww, she’s a warm little softie when you get to know her though! She just has her own way of doing things.

I’ll...take your word for it.

So, you’re working on a research project of your own. Is that why you came here?

Yeah, I’m going around filming cool people and cool stuff and talking about how big and cool Zoincailla is!

And I suppose the implication here is that I’m one of the “cool people?”

Mmkay, we’re getting close to our destination!

Now entering Vaddel city limits. Population: 310,772.

...plus a blob, a fairy, and a computer-squid for now~

Look! You can already see a few Kiteras from here! They’re kind of far away, but still!

Man, it’s kind of crazy how much stuff they can fit down here. Whenever I hear about underground cities I think of cramped tunnels and stuff, but this place is as huge and open as any other city!

The air down here’s a little stuffy though, and there’s not really any air currents to ride on either. My magic helps me a lot when I fly so it’s not a problem for me, but for people who rely on just their wings it’s probably not so fun...

Still better than the atmosphere on my planet!

The coolest thing about going to all these places is seeing everyone living their lives, making it work somehow. This all used to be just another boring dark cave for dumb people to get lost in, but now it’s all lit up and alive!

Like their ancestors, modern Kiteras continue to utilize Electrite as an energy source. Other common energy sources include geothermal power in volcanically active areas, and hydroelectric power in areas with flowing water. 

Huh, that makes sense. No sunlight down here so they can’t use solar power, and everything’s all sealed up so they can’t get away with anything that puts gross stuff into the air either.

...yo Lymia, we’re going down. Are we about to land or something?

So are you and Lymia gonna take this mummy back to your house and put it in your collection of awesome ancient stuff?

Hah, not quite. First of all, I mainly collect magic items, and there ain’t any magic here - just some clever old technology. Usually nothing magical gets buried this close to the queen, since that’d make it more likely for the burial site to get found and disturbed.

Secondly, the Kiteras care deeply about their history, and wouldn’t exactly take kindly to me stealing one of their pharaohs. I just came here to locate and study these ruins, and then share my findings with some other archeologists I’m in contact with. I probably wouldn’t've even found this place without their help!

Besides, in exchange for finding these pyramids, they’re letting me borrow any magical artifacts I do find down here, so I can study ‘em and make working replicas of ‘em later, hehe.

Hey, I got an idea! If you wanna keep exploring this place and find cool magic stuff anyway, maybe me and Lymia can go tell your cat friends about what you found! I’ve been trying to get back to civilization anyway, cuz I’m supposed to be showing the hyoomens what Kiteras are like!

Oh, so you are doing that documentary thingy after all! I’m so proud of you, Nhinee~

I can totally take you where the kitties live! It’d be extra super quick for me to get over there, after all.

Hrm...I guess that would work out alright. Just make it fast though. Kite’s always got my back and I’ve got some protective artifacts with me in case of traps, but I feel a lot better down here with your expertise at my disposal.

Aww, you feel safer with me around... <3

Don’t you worry your cute little head, Ban-ban! I promise I’ll come right back!

Soooo, are you ready?

She’s gonna do the thing! Don’t blink, or you’re gonna miss it!

SUPERLUMINA!!

Come on, you don’t need to yell that out every time you--

This stairway is likely leading to a burial chamber, as in grounded pyramids Kitera queens are entombed near the top. The increasing presence of electrite in the architecture is not only for functional purposes, but also for ritualistic purposes, as it was considered a holy substance.

Oh yeah, I had my squid download a bunch of stuff about ancient Kitera ruins earlier. Maybe that’ll be useful!

Maybe, but I like to imagine my own expertise’d be more useful than random facts grabbed off the internet.

The cultural significance of electrite dates back to an ancient Kiteran ancestor race that lived on the surface and worshipped the suns. After losing most of their territory to the Glydros, these Proto-Kiteras moved underground, mourning their separation from their solar deities. When they discovered Electrite, the Kiteras called it Sunstone, believing it to be pieces of a third sun that exists at the heart of Rhiotara.

Okay, that passage’s ripped straight from a paper I wrote. You could’ve just asked me!

Besides, I’ll bet your squid doesn’t realize that there’s an electrical trap embedded in the wall just a few feet ahead of us.

Hey Lymia, wanna show your blob friend why I had you come along with me on this trip?

I was under the impression you wanted me to come with you just because I’m your bestest friend ever, but okay~

Alright everyone, just make sure to stay behind me!

Woah!

Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about!

Woahhh...that’s a fancy looking box!

It’s levitating without any magic! Electrite is sooo cool!

Yep, here we are. If me n’ my colleagues here on Rhiotara aren’t mistaken, this should be Queen Seralda VI’s tomb. They kept the sarcophagus floating off the ground like that so that the queen’s soul wouldn’t sink into the earth. And of course, since they thought electricity was a gift from the sun, they figured running a constant current through the sarcophagus was the best way to glorify their holy ruler.

Ohhh, so they needed to build it out of something that conducts electricity! That must be why it’s a sarcoppergus!

...anyway, we all oughtta keep our eyes out for any other traps just in case, though I’m pretty sure Lymia and Kite have things covered on that front.

Hi everyone!

I’m so glad to see you, Nhinee! I wasn’t expecting to find you allll the way down in these dusty old ruins! Are you on an adventure of your own?

Who knows? I’m a blob of many mysteries! All that matters now is that I’m here and we’re snuggling!

Reminder: flagrant flirting with the lepatoid is not conductive to the educational benefits of this program.

I Agree. We should remain focused on the task at hand.

Baanthie, I've located a passage leading upward from here.

UNIDENTIFIED CONSTRUCT DETECTED! INITIATING BATTLE MODE!

If you’re intending to fight me or my holder, you are making a grave mistake.

NHIMOR! Get a handle on your squid! Ya need to add my magic kite to that thing’s whitelist!

Yeah, be nice to poor Kite...

Uhh, right...! Tridenthead, that construct’s friendly! It’s Baanthie’s kite!

Understood.

Information for [Baanthie Dohmisha] has been updated to include [Construct: Kite] as an associated item.

Pheww...that could’ve gotten messy. Not all constructs work for the Cybers, y’know!

In fact I’m pretty sure Kite’s less likely to hurt an innocent person than your dang squidbot is...

Before this whole diversion, I was trying to tell you that I’ve discovered a passage leading to the upper levels of the pyramid.

Heck yeah! Come on, let’s get going already!

Mmkay! Are you coming too, Nhinee?

Object rapidly approaching!

Aah! Where?

FLYING HUG ATTAAACK!!

Nnnope! Not today! 

Blob hug counterattack!

Oh noo, you got me~

Alright, so here we are in the bottom of this undiscovered electric pyramid I totally meant to take us to. All that stuff about getting lost underground, and getting electrocuted and then crying on camera...that was just to...build dramatic tension, yeah!

Psst! You’re sure this is safe, right? These electric kill-rocks are everywhere!

Affirmative. The electrite crystals in this array are damaged, and do not generate nearly as much voltage as the sample you encountered previously. In addition, there is an insulating mineral casing around the crystals, preventing unintended electrical arcs from occurring.

Guess pyramids aren’t just for dead people after all. Well, unless someone’s trying to use the electricity to bring people back to life as zombies!

No zombies detected within the vicinity.

Now that I think about it...I wonder what this place is even for, anyway. These pillars go off in every direction as far as I can see!

Electrical energy is flowing upward through these pillars. The base of the pyramid might be providing power for the higher floors.

My data on the subject of [Ancient Kitera Technology and Architecture] is limited. Would you like me to download more information about [Ancient Kitera Technology and Architecture?]

Heck yeah, hurry up and do that! I have a sudden need for my squid to be well-versed in ancient underground cat technology pronto!

Confirmed. Commencing download...

!!!WARNING!!! Unidentified object approaching!