Jon Bernthal's Husband

Do you think you're out there or am I going crazy? See, before I started understanding that this life was mine, I lived for everybody else and somewhere along the way I got lost. I lost my sense of direction and fell too far off path, I started to question and my distrust grew. I no longer wanted to fit in or be social, I stopped hanging with friends and started finding the serenity in loneliness but I also tried staying positive, kept telling myself that you were out there somewhere, just a lost star floating about in space, waiting to brighten my constant night with your luminescent glow but what if there is nobody out there for me? What if the letters I write and prayers I say are for nothing? For nobody? What if even though I tell myself that one day this pain will stop, it won't? What if I die tomorrow, will anybody care? Will I be happy with what I've left behind in this world? Will I be leaving you behind? Future Children? Family and Friends? Will I have been healthy and happy at the time of my death?