Riff-Raff

****

It took La’an a week to notice that something had changed in Una’s usual behaviour towards her. She became more tactile, sought her out more with the most ridiculous excuses and there was of course the Cheese Thing. Una had this notion of trying some new cheese types and asked La’an to join her in her quest. La’an agreed of course but she felt there was something she couldn’t put her finger on related to the topic.

Not that the increased attention was unwelcome, La’an had been craving it since their Enterprise bingo night which took place a lot longer ago than she would care to admit. And that was the exact reason she wasn’t gonna say anything lest Una might stop including her.

So there they were, meeting up day after day, week after week, doing various activities ranging from watching musicals to sparring – which La’an really enjoyed since she could go full force against Una’s enhanced strength – with the ever present addition of some type of cheese. And La’an started to look forward to the experiments, even if she did not like all of them. Not every experiment is a success, nor it should be.

Some weeks into the project though, La’an felt that Una started to get anxious and frustrated and she worried things would go back to the old normal which has been nice at that time but after getting a taste from the new normal, La’an really didn’t want to lose it.

She couldn’t ask Una though. No way. What if she said something wrong? What if she did something wrong? But she needed to ask someone. Someone who understood people – especially Una – and could keep a secret. The only one matching this description was the Captain himself, so however much La’an dreaded the coming conversation, she knew she had to do it.

****

“Lieutenant,” the Captain’s greeting felt somewhat distant but La’an might be imagining it, as he was going through some files and only half paying attention to La’an being there, “Is there something to report?”

It’s either now or never.

“No, Captain… Chris,” Pike’s head snapped up immediatelly, concern in his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Pike looked at her quizically. “Something’s wrong but I don’t know what and I thought you might be able to help me.”

“Of course, La’an,” he said, warmth coating his voice, “Although I am surprised because you usually go to Una with things that are bothering you.”

“Well it’s about her actually…”

“Oh?” he seemed puzzled but had his full attention focused on La’an, “Alright. Go on.”

“I feel like I did something wrong but I don’t know what it could be,” she blurted out finally.

“La’an… I don’t think there is anything you could do that Una considered wrong.”

“You can’t really believe that, Ca-- Chris,” she said and Pike stayed silent for a few moments, examining her, then answered.

“But I wholeheartedly do. Una holds you very dear, La’an.”

“That may be, but she has been acting frustrated and anxious around me, like she regretted the decision of spending more time with me,” the barely controlled pain and fear creeps in between the seams of her carefully crafted uniform.

“Just an idea, but… Have you considered that it’s not the time she has problem with, but... Something else?”

This felt like a riddle beyond La’an’s expertise.

“I don’t understand. What else could it be?”

“I’ve been watching you two for a while now. You are very special to each other, it’s always been like that. But relationships sometimes change.”

La’an felt like a deer caught in a headlight. Chris knows. But wait.

“What?” La’an asked in surprise and Chris smiled at her.

“Ask her. Trust me. You are the most courageous person I know. Use that famous bravery and go to her.”

La’an sighed, nodded and left.

****

Bravery or not, it took her some time and multiple detours before she found herself in front of Una’s quarters. She pushed the chime before she changed her mind. The door slid open to reveal a sleepy and a bit disheveled Una in her old King Jr t-shirt and that was the moment La’an realised it was the middle of the night. Before the guilt could fully settle in though, she noticed that various emotions crossed Una’s face, starting with delight and ending with worry.

“La’an,” her name flew from Una’s lips like an arrow, easily piercing her heart, “What do I owe this midnight visit?”

“Sorry,” she fidgeted with her fingers, “I lost track of time.”

“Come in,” she said, sidestepping from the door, “You look like you could use a tea.”

“Thanks.”

Even though La’an got a few minutes to think before a mug of steaming tea was placed in front of her which she couldn’t identify, she still didn’t know what and how to ask.

“It’s an Illyrian blend to ease the mind,” Una said as if she read her thoughts. Not that showing up unannounced in the middle of the night wouldn’t warrant the idea in itself.

So she sat down on the sofa and sipped the hot liquid quietly for another few minutes and she indeed felt some of her tension ease away. Una waited patiently, her recent frustration was nowhere to be found, only her ever present care for La’an, and beneath it something La’an hadn’t noticed until now. Maybe that was what Chris was talking about. Trusting her age-old reflex that Una would never be unkind to her, she decided to just ask what has been on her mind for days now.

“Did I do something wrong?” Una’s gaze grew softer still and she put down the mug she was holding, that probably contained the same Illyrian tea La’an was sipping.

“No, of course not,” she said, “But I think it’s my fault you feel that way,” she sighed and La’an stayed silent as if asking her to continue.

“I should have told you a lot sooner but I was a coward,” La’an wanted to interrupt her but Una held her hands up, “I know, not a word that usually describes me. But this is different. My courage fails me when there is a possibility of us hurting each other.”

La’an didn’t know what to say so she waited and Una seemed to get an idea how to explain to her.

“You know how strawberries symbolise our friendship,” she started.

“Sure,” La’an said without even thinking, strawberries have fond and not so fond memories attached but they definitely symbolise their connection to each other.

“I wanted something like that but for a different meaning.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I saw this… This silly thing Nyota showed me.”

“Okaay,” she said wondering where this might lead and she saw Una was hesitating. La’an was sure it was about the cheese but she just couldn’t connect the dots yet.

“I think I’ll just show you,” Una said, clearly nervous, but still she got up and brought her PADD back to the sofa with her. She seemed to be searching for something and when she found it, she just handed the PADD over to La’an, “It’s an exerpt from a 20th century book about spells and witchcraft,” which made La’an freeze and her brows almost reached her hairline.

“What,” she said, not like a question but more of a demand.

“As I said, it’s silly, but you’ll understand in a minute.”

La’an took the PADD and read the indicated line out loud.

“You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese."

She felt like the puzzle pieces she held inside her head slowly shifted closer to each other and where she only saw distance before, the pieces held together started to look like they fit.

It was Una’s turn to remain silent and anxious while La’an processed what she read. Her deduction skills were nothing short of legendary but still she wanted Una to say her thoughts out loud. However, she knew now that Una was afraid of saying things that could alter their relationship just as much as she did, and La’an now also held a crucial piece of information Una was not privy to. So even though Una only half said what she said, La’an might be the one who had to say it out loud first.

“You could say I am quite fascinated. Not eactly by the cheese though, just… By you,” she emphasized the last word, and the immediate change in Una’s look from nervous to hopeful fed her bravery, “Speaking about cowardice, I might be also guilty as charged, as I think I never would have told you what I did now. What I want to tell you plain and simple,” she watched as Una started to slowly shuffle closer to her and that made her smile while she delivered the truth she had been harbouring inside herself, “That I want to be with you.”