Eight years ago and Zoe wouldâve never believed this was possible; her and Rafe sitting next to each other and having an honest conversation where the topic wasnât something like âten ways I would slowly kill you if I had the chanceâ, but something real, something that mattered. There was a bit of bite to both their barks, and maybe it was the things they shared in common that had both made them such great âenemiesâ once upon a time, and such great friends now. Of course, June had played a deciding factor in Zoeâs aversion to him at the time too, her friendâs broken heart enough to make her loathe Rafe without having to try really hard.
             But things had changed since thenâ- the man Zoe saw when she looked at Rafe now versus the one she saw back in Los Angeles, they were two completely different people. He had grown, and maybe Zoe had too; just about enough to make her realize how much they had in common, and now, how much they both cared about June. Stupidly enough, the brunette had never really delved into the idea that just because Rafe had made a mistake, it didnât mean his love for the blonde hadnât been real. Clearly it had been, and Zoe was finding it hard to convince herself it wasnât still.
             She laughed at his joke not just because he deserved it, but because he was funnyâ- heâd probably always been, but sheâd refused to see it or acknowledge it for a long time now. âYouâre a terrible person,â she said, recognizable amusement in the tone of her voice. âAnd for the record⌠I canât imagine you getting married anytime soon, so I guess we wonât have to worry about that, right?â It wasnât meant as a jab, but simple fact; Rafe as a married person? Heâd probably pull it off, surprise everyone like that, but she didnât think that was something he was even remotely interested inâ well, that was until the words âThought I was gonna marry herâ tumbled out of his mouth in reference to June, Zoeâs chest tightening for a prolonged moment for her friend, both of them even.
             Looking at him and seeing flickers of unrestrained emotion, of honesty and nothing less, it was more than sheâd prepared herself for, her eyes unwittingly glazing over and her gaze lowering to the ground. âGod,â was all she could say first, the word barely there, caught somewhere between audible and just being a thought inside her head. âWhat the hell happened?â The question was rhetorical, it felt like that too, and yet not at all as it sat between them, lingering in the air as she wiped at the corner of her eye with her fingertip. âI know Iâve given you so much shit over the years, and honestlyâ- Iâve felt justified every damn time; I mean, Iâv hated you, you know that? Not just because I had to for June, but because I just⌠I really didnât think you cared. I saw you on magazine covers with random girls all the time, and I saw what that did to her, and I just⌠God, I fucking hated you so much, you know? But you⌠you loved herâŚâ The last three words emerged like a statement, but one riddled with wonder; with confusion.
              âAnd sheâŚâ Her bottom lip quivered for a moment, the words suspended in thin air and the brunetteâs head shaking from side to side, gaze faltering to trembling hands, the sentence forever infinite. âI donât get it. I donât understand what the hell happenedâ how itâs almost been a decade and you sit here and you say that shit to me like it was yesterday, and yet⌠youâre both strangers to each other?â She wanted to point out that Juneâ June was the same; sheâd had the same look in her eyes, the same urgency that wiped away a decade like it was nothing; like she loved him today the way she had then. However, it wasnât Zoeâs place to tell, and all she could do was marvel and wonder, look at him with eyes incredulous. âI want to, like, grab you and shake you, you know that? What the hell happenedâ why didnât you fight for her? Why didnât she fight for you, for your relationship? Why are you both like this?â She shook her head, not stupid enough to expect any answers, but frustrated beyond anything that what was essentially two of her best friends had ended up like this when there was so much there; so much unsaid, and so much still lingering.
              Pushing her fingers through her hair, combing it away from her eyes with a shaky exhale, Zoe stretched out her legs in front of her and looked straight ahead for a beat or two, silence shrouding the two for a moment. âIâm gonna let you off the hook; I donât wanna force you to talk about this, but I⌠Iâm glad you did.â She turned to look at Rafe, really look at him. âIâm just sad itâs like this for you. For the both of you.â
+ As much as theyâd exchanged stories and lighthearted banter -- the kind often mistaken for genuine distaste -- itâs the first Rafeâs been able to speak so candidly with such raw honesty with all his emotions in place. Heâs grateful for itâs the first time heâs heard his truth leave his lips. Perhaps it feels easier to be so open with someone like Zoe, whoâd thought the absolute worst of him, because sheâd respected him enough to do the same a year ago.
It takes some time for everything to settle in. After unloading all of that he expects the weight of his statements to feel heavy, but itâs quite the contrary. It feels lighter. But thereâs a hushed utterance, barely audible, and it brings his brows together, gaze hardening with concern. Did he say too much? Worried, he stares back at her, heart beating at an increased pace as he notices her finger. He manages a small nod of acknowledgment, muttering a low âwell deservedâ to not appear to have turned to stone. Until further into her explanation, he felt like heâd done something wrong. At those three words, a small sigh of relief escapes him, easing the tension built up in his shoulders. She believes him now. It didnât matter then, but it matters to him now.
âWhy would she fight for me, Zoe? I cheated on her.â He answers both questions with one answer. âIt shouldâve been me doinâ the fightinâ, me doinâ the begginâ, but I didnât. I was young, and stupid, and had too much pride. And then, by the time it all hit me, it was too late.â A light, humourless chuckle leaves him as he recalls the moments of Zoe standing by her door, smugly telling him June was out with a guy, a good guy, and then his final visit when he found out she left for Europe. âDonât blame you, obviously. I wouldnât have taken me seriously either.â
Seeing Zoe as frustrated as she is doesnât feel good for Rafe, and if anything makes him want to sort it all out, if possible. In a small town like Lanford, an issue between two people often affected everyone around them. âLook, bottom line, I donât know her anymore.â One night wasnât enough to catch up on everything theyâd missed. Yes, theyâd said things to each other that night that still felt like yesterday, things that couldnât be repeated elsewhere, things that maybe shouldâve have been said, but they hadnât actually talked. âMaybe if I did, I wouldnât have this problem. Or maybe itâd be worse. I donât know. But Iâll figure it out. Worse comes to worst, and I still shit my pants every time I see her, Iâll just move back to LA.â He says with a shrug, small smile on his lips. âBut Zoe,â he reaches out for her shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. âItâs actually been really fuckinâ sweet talkinâ to you. Might not feel the same way tomorrow morninâ when I recall everythinâ I just said out loud, but-- you a real one. I appreciate everythinâ that you are, Zoe Foster. Thank you.â
There are very few yet pivotal moments in your life where you have been touched by someone and without them you canât imagine where you mightâve ended up. More often than not, itâs as simple as a lend in hand. Had Rafe not gotten all of these things off his chest, who knows what he mightâve done, who he mightâve hurt, bridges he mightâve burned. âMy ma wouldâve liked you, yâknow. Youâre both crazy strong in ways I just donât understand. One bad thing happens and I spiral like a little bitch,â he thinks out loud, never having forgotten everything Zoeâd been through and how sheâs held herself together despite it all. She reminded him of his mother. âSpeakinâ of, anythinâ you wanna get off your chest? Might not get a moment like this for another year now...â