Not everything done in the dark is shameful

i’m just

She could see him blush. It was hard not to notice, given how acute her vision was. Was it just from the alcohol or was it because of something else? Part of her really wanted to ask, but now didn’t seem like a good time. “Thank you, Rafa. That really means a lot to me.” In fact she wasn’t sure she’d ever felt more grateful in her life. Losing her job at SVU wouldn’t have been the end of the world, but she liked working there. And the consequences that would come with the revelation that she was Hawkgirl were almost too immense for her to imagine. Plus she didn’t want the squad wrapped up in that kind of mess either. Benson had enough headaches to deal with on a daily basis. “You know, I’m starting to wonder what the hell I’d do without you.”

It would be a lie to say she wasn’t relieved when he couldn’t think of any immediate questions. She was still tired, and she was sure that he was still trying to process all of this just as much as she was. After agreeing to his plan, it didn’t take them long to get through the rest of the bottle. Truthfully she could have kept drinking. Exhaustion finally won out and she cut herself off, agreeing to meet Rafael back at the bar tomorrow night once she was rested and he had thought of some things he wanted to ask. Getting back to her apartment seemed like a welcome relief. She didn’t hesitate to go straight to bed, trying not to focus on the day’s events. They could talk about them more tomorrow.

The next night, she headed for the bar the second she got off of her shift at the precinct, sending Rafael a quick text to let him know she was on her way. She spotted him at the same booth they’d been in last night and she was grateful it provided them with some form of privacy, even though she was subconsciously dreading what kind of questions he was going to ask. When she sat down across from him, she pulled out the feather he had found in the bunk room yesterday, sliding it across the table. “You might as well keep that. It’s not doing me any good.” Trying to swallow some of her nervousness, she gave him a faint smile and leaned back in her seat while they waited for their drinks to arrive. “I know you’re probably curious, but you can’t ask me anything about the League. The last thing I need is another lecture from Batman.” She’d take a hundred IAB interrogations over that any day. “So…ask away.”

"Of course, Shay," he said, and he meant it, too. This must have been hard for her, keeping a secret for so long, doing her best to fit in. Whatever sort of magic or alien biology allowed her to hide her wings and other form must have taken a lot of willpower or exertion, it couldn't have been easy...no wonder he'd found her like he had earlier. He wasn't going to tell anyone because frankly, as well as he knew the law, he wasn't sure there was really anything they could do at the moment. Yes, she was technically an illegal alien--literally--but there were a lot of loopholes for someone who was also a member of the Justice League. He'd look into it as quietly as possible, but until it came out in a way she could no longer hide, he wouldn't bring it up. Rafael smiled at her, "Well, if not for what I know now, I might have said crash and burn, but with that new knowledge....perhaps still crash, maybe a little less burning." 

The drinking was a silent, gentle event, and if there was any awkwardness in the air, it wasn't coming from him. He wanted her to be comfortable, even though he knew what had to be her most deeply guarded secret. She'd had such a long day, she deserved to have a drink and go home and get some sleep. Once he'd gotten her into an uber, he called a cab for himself and threw some microwave meal in, ate it while watching a rerun of some legal drama and nodded off mid-way through before actually going to bed. 

So. Just. yeah hi I’m here I’m just a Tired Boy™