Fandom Related Nonsense, and Tumblr Book Clubs ✍️ RaeTheReader on ao3 ✒️ @writing-desk-rae for fanfiction shenanigans 😍 @thegallerybyrae for the art I like to share
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
an important thing to know about Count Binface is that he was previously Lord Buckethead, pictured here with Theresa May in 2017.
Lord Buckethead previously ran against Margaret Thatcher in 1987 and against John Major in 1992. Lord Buckethead ran for the Gremloids party.
Officially all Lord Bucketheads are the same Lord Buckethead who went away for a while and returned; however, it has come to light that Lord Buckethead (1987, 1992) and Lord Buckethead (2017) were two different guys under the bucket.
Following the 2017 general election the original creator of Lord Buckethead (not either of the guys who had worn the costume) asserted his legal rights over the character and 2017 Lord Buckethead acquiesced. and so, Count Binface came into being.
In the 2019 general election Lord Buckethead and Count Binface both ran against Boris Johnson, Binface as an indepent and Buckethead having joined the Monster Raving Looney Party. (NB this Lord Buckethead was a third different guy, not 87/92 Buckethead)
Lord Buckethead won the race (ie, got marginally more votes than Count Binface) but has not stood in an election since whereas Count Binface has been very prolific, running in two mayoral elections, two by-elections, and one further general election in 2024:
dunkbaelor fic (which i will start writing) that takes place after the sworn sword. dunk returns with egg to king’s landing, and after dunk gives baelor his report of what happened, baelor’s quiet and still.
dunk, nervously, asks what’s wrong, thinking he did something. still on a knee and trying not to fidget, dunk watches baelor come up to him and put a gentle hand to the new scar on his cheek, frowning.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
An AU I rotated in my head in the traffic on the way home from grocery shopping. Feat the gods, hedge magic, and DunkBaelor
Dunk doesn’t argue about the Trial of Seven. He accepts it with more grace than Baelor would have, if he had been in the knight’s place. And what’s more, if Baelor’s not mistaken, the hedge knights seems… amused. But that can’t be right, surely?
“You will find six men?” Baelor asks, just to be certain. Ser Duncan hums, his eyes glittering.
“I already have my six, your grace. I shall be ready come the morn,” the hedge knight assures him. Baelor feels discomforted. He’s missed something, he just doesn’t know what.
“Will you stay with me a while, Ser Duncan?” he asks, hoping to have the opportunity to try and weasel out whatever it is that he’s failed to pick up on. And, if he can convince the tall knight into his bed, well, that’s neither here nor there. Ser Duncan smiles, a soft, beautiful, terrible thing.
“Ask me again after the Trial, your grace,” Ser Duncan says, dipping his head before he turns and leaves without being dismissed. The sheer gal of this man is… well, it’s certainly intriguing. Ser Duncan has his attention.
--
Baelor watches with a furrowed brow as Ser Duncan rides forward on his horse, alone. His helm tucked under his arm.
“Could you not find six men to stand for you, ser?” Aerion calls, mocking. Ser Duncan merely smiles.
“Nay, my prince. You asked for a Trial of Seven, I have Seven,” Ser Duncan says, his voice starting to take on an odd, almost other-worldly quality. “The Seven Who Are One,” he states and there is a flash of light and six ghostly figures form from out of the mist, atop ghostly horses of their own.
“In the name of the Warrior,” a dead man calls, as Baelor stares at the ghostly figure of his once knight master, his great uncle Aemon, the Dragonknight. “I charge you to be brave.”
“In the name of the Father,” his own father says, the smile on his face the one he wears when he’s about to absolutely shred someone in council. “I charge you to be just.”
“In the name of the Mother,” his mother says, and gods, but Baelor had almost forgotten the sound of her voice in the years she’s been dead. “I charge you to defend the young and innocent.”
“In the name of the Maid,” Ser Duncan says, a vicious smile on his face. “I charge you to defend all women,” the knight says, his eyes blazing fire as they stare Aerion down.
“In the name of the Smith.” Baelor is relatively certain that one is his own namesake, Baelor I. “I charge you to mend what has been broken, put to rights what has been torn asunder.”
“In the name of the Crone,” his grandmother says, eyes dark as they look upon Aerion, flickering to Maekar, and Daeron, then back to Aerion. “I charge you to light the way forward, a shining beacon for all to follow after.”
“In the name of the Stranger,” a hooded, figure states, head bowed. Their voice is ambiguous, neither male nor female, neither young nor old. “I charge you to uphold these vows until your last breath leaves your body, and you come into my halls.”
“This is ridiculous!” Aerion exclaims, but when Baelor looks at him, he can see the terror in his nephew’s face, in his eyes. Baelor cannot blame him. He would not want to be facing the might of the Seven, either.
“You asked for a Trial of Seven, little one,” Baelor’s mother says, the smile on her face is all teeth. It’s the smile she used to wear when she has planted traps and just seen someone willingly stick their foot in one. “Is it not all that you hoped it would be?”
“No, if he knew the truth of his favoured ancestor, he would have been smart enough to recant,” Baelor’s father says, cocking his head to the side.
“You see, little fool,” grandmother says, a dark smile on her face that Baelor doesn’t think he ever saw in life. “Maegor died on the field that day, but he was not one of ours.”
“No,” Baelor I says, inclining his head. “Maegor followed the Fourteen, and they were still so strong then. Alive, not quite thriving, no, but certainly still a force to be reckoned with.”
“And, let us not forget, there was the Great Balerion, too” the Stranger says, annoyed. “The Great Dread funneling his life into Maegor's, even as I tried to snuff it out in my hand.”
“Do you have a dragon, little Maegor?” Mother asks, laughing at her own question. The sound one Baelor doesn’t think he’s ever heard. “No. You have no dragon and you do not follow the Fourteen, you do not even follow the Old Gods, little monster. You’re ours and ours you will remain, even if we choose to let you crawl from this field like the wretched creature you are.”
“I have not decided yet,” the Stranger says, cocking their hooded head to the side. Baelor can just make out a pair of glowing embers hidden in the hood. “Let us dance, little Maegor, and I shall see the true worth of your heart and decide whether I allow you to see another dawn.”
“Wait, wait-!” Aerion exclaims, but Aemon snarls.
“If you retract your accusation now, without even a token effort to fight, I will brand you a coward and personally deliver your heart to the Stranger myself. Stand and fight or die in the mud as you deserve, little Maegor,” Aemon states. Aerion shivers then bows his head.
The Trial commences. Ser Duncan handedly beats Aerion to a pulp, before turning to the Stranger to wait quietly for his judgement as Aerion yields.
“The Mother wanted him to craw off the field, our Maiden,” the Stranger points out. Ser Duncan hesitates for a second then drops Aerion to the floor. “Crawl, little dragon. Crawl away like the cowardly, wretched, little thing that you are. I will weigh your life in my hands every morning for as long as you live. If you are found wanting… well, I’m sure you can figure that out. Afterall, I caught up with Maegor, too, eventually,” the Stranger declares, then turns and steps into the mist.
“Aerion of the House Targaryen, you are forsworn. You are not now, and never shall you be, again, a Knight of the Seven. Never call upon me ever again,” Aemon says, before he, too, turns and steps into the mist. One by one, the other Seven turn and step into the mist, until there is only Ser Duncan and Aerion’s seven in the mud of the tourney field.
--
“How did you do that?” Baelor asks, as he pushes a goblet of wine into Ser Duncan’s hands sometime after the end of the Trial.
“Hedge knight magic,” Ser Duncan says, with a little hum. “So long as the knight under Trial can represent an aspect of the Seven, they can beseech the others to make their will known.”
“You could have failed?” Baelor asks, Dunk inclines his head.
“Yes, but if I didn’t have the favour of the Seven anyway, then what would be the point?” Dunk asks. Baelor sighs, then he furrows a brow.
“You represented the Maiden?” Baelor asks, Dunk laughs, his cheeks flushing.
“Well, it was fitting, given the whole reason for this stupid trial in the first place, but… only those who are still ‘pure’ can represent the Maiden,” he says, smiling. Baelor blinks.
“Is that… why you told me to wait until after the Trial?” he asks, flushing even against his best attempts not to.
“Maybe?” Dunk says, putting the wine goblet down, and leaning forward towards Baelor, his eyes glittering. “If you’re still interested?”
“Oh, Ser Duncan,” Baelor says, setting his own goblet down with a thunk. “The gods themselves could not douse the flames of my interest,” he says, crossing the room to press his lips to Dunk’s own.
“Well,” Dunk says, as he tugs and Baelor suddenly finds himself in Dunk’s lap. “I figure, next time, I’ll be the Warrior,” Dunk says, before his lips are back on Baelor’s and Baelor doesn’t have thought for anything else.
Prev tags love it!#do the seven appear the way they look to Baelor because that's how he perseves those aspects?#or did they just pick forms that would resonate with the most people on the opposite side?#essential what I'm asking is: is the image of Dyanna dayne telling Aerion to go fuck himself?#little maegor holy shit
Yes, the image of Dyanna is currently telling Aerion he ain't shit XD He's taking epic emotional damage rn. He will never emotionally or financially recover from this.
So I’ve seen a bunch of fics where Lyonel’s peacocking and dancing and having Duncan wear his antlers is, like, Stormlander proposal / wedding traditions, and Duncan is blindsided by Lyonel essentially making him the bride for his shotgun wedding.
But I think it’s even funnier to imagine a world where all of the dancing and feeding each other is, in fact, the hedge knight equivalent of getting married.
So the Trial happens as in canon- except, of course, that Baelor survives- and everyone expects that when Dunk is asked to join the Targaryen retinue he will accept, or at the very least decline so that he can return to his hedges.
And then Dunk’s like, “sorry, I have to respectfully decline, I’m going home with my new husband.”
And everyone is like “husband??? new????? When did he have the time???”
Only for Dunk to turn around and point at Lyonel like “yeah, we got married my first night here. He pulled out all the stops- I didn’t know Lords would have any idea about hedge knight traditions but damn he pulled them off well”
Anyway, idk, just have Dunk hit the Lordlings with weird hedge knight traditions every now and then, it would be so much funnier
An AU I rotated in my head in the traffic on the way home from grocery shopping. Feat the gods, hedge magic, and DunkBaelor
Dunk doesn’t argue about the Trial of Seven. He accepts it with more grace than Baelor would have, if he had been in the knight’s place. And what’s more, if Baelor’s not mistaken, the hedge knights seems… amused. But that can’t be right, surely?
“You will find six men?” Baelor asks, just to be certain. Ser Duncan hums, his eyes glittering.
“I already have my six, your grace. I shall be ready come the morn,” the hedge knight assures him. Baelor feels discomforted. He’s missed something, he just doesn’t know what.
“Will you stay with me a while, Ser Duncan?” he asks, hoping to have the opportunity to try and weasel out whatever it is that he’s failed to pick up on. And, if he can convince the tall knight into his bed, well, that’s neither here nor there. Ser Duncan smiles, a soft, beautiful, terrible thing.
“Ask me again after the Trial, your grace,” Ser Duncan says, dipping his head before he turns and leaves without being dismissed. The sheer gal of this man is… well, it’s certainly intriguing. Ser Duncan has his attention.
--
Baelor watches with a furrowed brow as Ser Duncan rides forward on his horse, alone. His helm tucked under his arm.
“Could you not find six men to stand for you, ser?” Aerion calls, mocking. Ser Duncan merely smiles.
“Nay, my prince. You asked for a Trial of Seven, I have Seven,” Ser Duncan says, his voice starting to take on an odd, almost other-worldly quality. “The Seven Who Are One,” he states and there is a flash of light and six ghostly figures form from out of the mist, atop ghostly horses of their own.
“In the name of the Warrior,” a dead man calls, as Baelor stares at the ghostly figure of his once knight master, his great uncle Aemon, the Dragonknight. “I charge you to be brave.”
“In the name of the Father,” his own father says, the smile on his face the one he wears when he’s about to absolutely shred someone in council. “I charge you to be just.”
“In the name of the Mother,” his mother says, and gods, but Baelor had almost forgotten the sound of her voice in the years she’s been dead. “I charge you to defend the young and innocent.”
“In the name of the Maid,” Ser Duncan says, a vicious smile on his face. “I charge you to defend all women,” the knight says, his eyes blazing fire as they stare Aerion down.
“In the name of the Smith.” Baelor is relatively certain that one is his own namesake, Baelor I. “I charge you to mend what has been broken, put to rights what has been torn asunder.”
“In the name of the Crone,” his grandmother says, eyes dark as they look upon Aerion, flickering to Maekar, and Daeron, then back to Aerion. “I charge you to light the way forward, a shining beacon for all to follow after.”
“In the name of the Stranger,” a hooded, figure states, head bowed. Their voice is ambiguous, neither male nor female, neither young nor old. “I charge you to uphold these vows until your last breath leaves your body, and you come into my halls.”
“This is ridiculous!” Aerion exclaims, but when Baelor looks at him, he can see the terror in his nephew’s face, in his eyes. Baelor cannot blame him. He would not want to be facing the might of the Seven, either.
“You asked for a Trial of Seven, little one,” Baelor’s mother says, the smile on her face is all teeth. It’s the smile she used to wear when she has planted traps and just seen someone willingly stick their foot in one. “Is it not all that you hoped it would be?”
“No, if he knew the truth of his favoured ancestor, he would have been smart enough to recant,” Baelor’s father says, cocking his head to the side.
“You see, little fool,” grandmother says, a dark smile on her face that Baelor doesn’t think he ever saw in life. “Maegor died on the field that day, but he was not one of ours.”
“No,” Baelor I says, inclining his head. “Maegor followed the Fourteen, and they were still so strong then. Alive, not quite thriving, no, but certainly still a force to be reckoned with.”
“And, let us not forget, there was the Great Balerion, too” the Stranger says, annoyed. “The Great Dread funneling his life into Maegor's, even as I tried to snuff it out in my hand.”
“Do you have a dragon, little Maegor?” Mother asks, laughing at her own question. The sound one Baelor doesn’t think he’s ever heard. “No. You have no dragon and you do not follow the Fourteen, you do not even follow the Old Gods, little monster. You’re ours and ours you will remain, even if we choose to let you crawl from this field like the wretched creature you are.”
“I have not decided yet,” the Stranger says, cocking their hooded head to the side. Baelor can just make out a pair of glowing embers hidden in the hood. “Let us dance, little Maegor, and I shall see the true worth of your heart and decide whether I allow you to see another dawn.”
“Wait, wait-!” Aerion exclaims, but Aemon snarls.
“If you retract your accusation now, without even a token effort to fight, I will brand you a coward and personally deliver your heart to the Stranger myself. Stand and fight or die in the mud as you deserve, little Maegor,” Aemon states. Aerion shivers then bows his head.
The Trial commences. Ser Duncan handedly beats Aerion to a pulp, before turning to the Stranger to wait quietly for his judgement as Aerion yields.
“The Mother wanted him to craw off the field, our Maiden,” the Stranger points out. Ser Duncan hesitates for a second then drops Aerion to the floor. “Crawl, little dragon. Crawl away like the cowardly, wretched, little thing that you are. I will weigh your life in my hands every morning for as long as you live. If you are found wanting… well, I’m sure you can figure that out. Afterall, I caught up with Maegor, too, eventually,” the Stranger declares, then turns and steps into the mist.
“Aerion of the House Targaryen, you are forsworn. You are not now, and never shall you be, again, a Knight of the Seven. Never call upon me ever again,” Aemon says, before he, too, turns and steps into the mist. One by one, the other Seven turn and step into the mist, until there is only Ser Duncan and Aerion’s seven in the mud of the tourney field.
--
“How did you do that?” Baelor asks, as he pushes a goblet of wine into Ser Duncan’s hands sometime after the end of the Trial.
“Hedge knight magic,” Ser Duncan says, with a little hum. “So long as the knight under Trial can represent an aspect of the Seven, they can beseech the others to make their will known.”
“You could have failed?” Baelor asks, Dunk inclines his head.
“Yes, but if I didn’t have the favour of the Seven anyway, then what would be the point?” Dunk asks. Baelor sighs, then he furrows a brow.
“You represented the Maiden?” Baelor asks, Dunk laughs, his cheeks flushing.
“Well, it was fitting, given the whole reason for this stupid trial in the first place, but… only those who are still ‘pure’ can represent the Maiden,” he says, smiling. Baelor blinks.
“Is that… why you told me to wait until after the Trial?” he asks, flushing even against his best attempts not to.
“Maybe?” Dunk says, putting the wine goblet down, and leaning forward towards Baelor, his eyes glittering. “If you’re still interested?”
“Oh, Ser Duncan,” Baelor says, setting his own goblet down with a thunk. “The gods themselves could not douse the flames of my interest,” he says, crossing the room to press his lips to Dunk’s own.
“Well,” Dunk says, as he tugs and Baelor suddenly finds himself in Dunk’s lap. “I figure, next time, I’ll be the Warrior,” Dunk says, before his lips are back on Baelor’s and Baelor doesn’t have thought for anything else.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
All the cute jokes aside, Lyonel must be a terribly lonely man to imprint on Dunk like that
He’s sitting with all these people that drink and dance with him and kiss his ass and make noise but Dunk’s the only one that listens to him and opens his heart and has a conversation with him like a friend would and doesn’t ask for anything in exchange just enjoys his company
washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes
Okey so i said something about flea-bottom with Valyrian traditions in another anonymous prompt and I’ve had more thoughts.
So TL:DR Daemon Targaryen spread Valyrian culture to fleabottom (probably cus he was mad that Viserys married an Andal preaching the seven), so they now hold Valyrian traditions and the language etc etc. The Targaryens on the other hand have lost touch with most of their Valyrian roots cus Baelor the blessed thought them un-godly and burnt like all the books on it.
Okay anyway so ashford happens and Baelor survives- yay! Anyway now I have two ideas
1. Baelor ends up accidentally courting Dunk in the tradition of old Valyria, Dunk therefor is very quick to make his moves on the Prince; Baelor is confused and flustered but happy. (A very fun Crack idea)
2. Dunk starts courting Baelor through Valyrian means and Baelor not knowing that it is in anyway meaning full ends up essentially responding to this with an equivalent to “I accept that you wanna court me, and I’m not outright rejecting you, but you need to step up your game”. Dunk very much tries to do more and more but he always gets pretty much the same response and he can’t figure out why what he’s doing isn’t enough. It gets to the point where his health is seriously affected and he starts to wonder if he was wrong about the prince and he’s just being led on. (So much angst potential, like so so much)
Anyway I should really sleep now, I was literally on my way to falling asleep when this hit me so ye, if it doesn’t make total sense don’t sue me I’m broke. I might have to man up and actually attach my username to these prompts at some point cus otherwise they will probably be kinda nonsensical, if I keep expanding on them, oh well, we shall see…
(Bonus. The Valyrian gods accept Dunks “I’m your man” and Baelors “My man” as wedding vows, Dunk knows this and assumes Baelor does too, he does in fact not. )
I can give you your own tag if you want, as well! Sleep well, creative anon!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Can you believe that THIS SATURDAY 40+ new Baelor/Dunk fics are going to drop at once for @dunkbaelorexchange2026?? This knowledge is seeing me through the week tbqh
All these months later and I still haven’t seen anyone talking about the fact that when Baelor rode onto the tournament grounds during the Trial of Seven, that Maekar and Aerion likely saw the armor and rode over thinking that it was Valarr. That there was probably a split second where (before Baelor revealed that it was in fact him under that helmet) both Maekar and Aerion’s lives flashed before their eyes bc if Valarr gets severely injured or worse then Baelor is going to have both of their heads bc this whole thing is Aerion’s fault to begin with. Don’t get me wrong, I fully believe that, if given the chance, Aerion would swing on Valarr without a second thought. Absolutely would not hesitate. But, considering the circumstances, and the fact that he was sat atop his steed in front of not only half of the kingdom of Westeros, but also the eyes of his Very Influential and Very Loved Uncle Baelor plus the eyes of the Seven, if he took any targeted shots at Valarr, despite it being a tournament, his ass would be done.