Fandom Related Nonsense, and Tumblr Book Clubs ✍️ RaeTheReader on ao3 ✒️ @writing-desk-rae for fanfiction shenanigans 😍 @thegallerybyrae for the art I like to share
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When Egg asks Dunk to be his squire at the Inn, Dunk says no. Not because he doesn't want to, necicerally, but because there's paperwork and a fee attached to squiring and the apprenticeship scheme, and that's money he just doesn't have right now. And where would he even get the paperwork from anyway, in an inn in the middle of nowhere?
But Egg follows him to Ashford anyway, with enough coin to cover the cost of signing up to the apprenticeship scheme in his pocket. He claims the money is his by right, not stolen, and Dunk, lonely after the passing of Sir Arlan, chooses to believe him.
(The coin is Eggs, technically. His families at least. So that wasn't a lie... It was stolen from a drunk Daerons purse, but that's another matter.)
So it's a matter of paperwork.
And Dunk may not need vouching for as a knight, he has the paperwork. But finding someone willing to provide and cosign apprenticeship paperwork is a whole other matter.
And that's where sneaking into the castle to speak with Baelor comes in.
Dunk doesn't need someone to vouch for him to enter the lists. He has a certificate of knighthood, cosigned by a master and a septon from a small village just outside Oldtown (since the citadel and the starry sept wouldn't be interested in officiating a hedge knights apprenticeship), which he carried on him at all times. And his name was on the official list of knights, that the citadel updates and sends to all noble houses twice a year.
He is officially, undeniably, a knight.
That does not make him welcome.
The steward sneers as he adds his name to the lists. Landed knights turn away from him in the practice yard, unwilling to train or warm up with him in preparation. Noble knights don't even look his way, beyond what his extraordinary height guarantees.
You can't fake knighthood, so it's not a concern like in canon, but apprentice hedge knights are a rarity, seen as odd, and lesser than their degree counterparts.
They might not stop him from competing, but they don't want him there and it shows.
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How is your takeaway from this "oh no! They are banning asexuality!" They are banning being LGBTQIA+. They are just using a modern woke version of the acronym to define who they persecute. De facto they will only go after asexual people that go to pride parades or start advocacy groups or something. They're not gonna arrest you for not filling your sex quota lol
I’m going to respond to this with the assumption this was NOT!! originally posted with bad intent, but we’ll see if I can keep up that line of thinking.
Firstly, the OP of the tweet just happened to cut off the name of the subreddit this was posted to. Turns out it was posted to r/Asexual. You know. The subreddit dedicated to talking about asexuality and related things. It makes sense that the original poster and a mod of that very subreddit would emphasize the inclusion of asexuality in Niger’s article 25.
Here’s a link to the actual Reddit post btw
Secondly, while all persecution of queer identities is evil and unjust, it is significant to point out asexuality being included. Most of the time laws don’t go into specifying more than gay or trans identities when it comes to trying to bar rights to individuals. This article has go so far to break down and specify the meaning of every single letter in LGBTQIA and call them all an “act against nature” to justify punishing anyone under the banner. It makes sense to, again, emphasize that asexuality was also included when this was posted in the r/Asexual subreddit.
And thirdly, and this is kinda the most important part imo, this means ANYONE CAN BE ACCUSED AND PERSECUTED UNDER THIS CHARTER. People in the subreddit and even the OP of the tweet are asking “how can you even prove that?” And that’s the thing. You can’t. So it makes it that much easier to just accuse someone of asexuality in order to force them into a heterosexual relationship or punish them.
Think about it. What’s stopping a bitter ex or an abusive spouse from accusing their partner of “denying sex due to their asexual tendencies” in order to punish them? Maybe someone is career driven or just not interested in a relationship at the time. What’s stopping a business rival, a jilted flirt, or an obsessed stalker from leaving an anonymous tip that the object of their ire is an asexual deviant? Absolutely nothing.
Taking this post and dismissing it as “no one cares you don’t want to fuck” is completely missing the point on why this is exceptionally dangerous. And acting like a mod of the r/Asexual subreddit is being silly for putting emphasis on the dangers to their community is rude at best.
The fact that everyone with a queer identity now can face prison time and ridiculous fines is terrifying and it breaks my heart to know more and more countries are baking these laws into their charters and constitutions. But we should be bringing these things into the light and condemning the people pushing for this kind of cruelty, not throwing stones at each other for pointing out a specific part of the article that affects us personally.
Uplift your fellow queers. Don’t do the CIA’s job for them and try to tear our community apart with useless infighting.
Modern Knighthood AU part 2 because I am having thoughts
Jousting
Traditional jousting is highly regarded and very official, with laws, and paperwork, and therefore highly regulated. You can challenge someone to a joust over honour, or maybe as part of a trial, all overseen by officials. And if you're throwing a big party/festival/tourney then you may have jousting. But you need, like, permission. It's a big thing.
So what do young, cocksure, testosterone fueled Sir BSc students do when they want to joust? Motorcycle jousting. It's three times as dangerous, but by being untraditional it's completely unregulated.
Just imagine Aerion on a sleek, black, expensive motorbike, rocketing lance first at a first year student from a family of landed knights with only a dirt bike to his name, after dark, his third year at uni. He'd be fucking feral.
Sir Dunk, as an apprenticed Knight, would not have a motorbike. He would have Thunder, whom he cares for diligently, and would only have ever jousted traditionally, on horse back. So imagine, he arrives at Ashford, and before the official jousting starts, he stumbles on the Baratheon camp, where everyone is feasting, drinking, and driving motorbikes at eachother at 100m/h to "practice for tomorrow". The man would be horrified.
Not sure how this would link into the rest of the AU, but the image came into my head, so here it is.
Modern fusion AU where knighthood is a qualification generally gained at University. And while it's offered as a complete subject by itself, most rich, lordly kids take it as an add on: politics with knighthood, business with knighthood, the classics with knighthood, etc. Meaning most modern knight have the title but have never really worked for it. It's just a title to show their status. Like having a BSc after your name. Sir whatshisface BSc.
Hedge knights do it the old fashioned way. They gain knighthood through an apprenticeship.
Dunk never would have been able to go to university. Dirty poor and street smart rather than book smart, squaring himself to Sir Arlan of Pennytree was the only way to do it. And Sir Arlan worked him harm and trained him harder, showing him what a knights service surely was on every road in the seven kingdoms, and at every holdfast that would take them. And when Dunk was ready for his teast, he would swing them by the nearest University (on maybe Oldtown, maybe all Knights qualify out of Oldtown as the holder of the citidel and the great sept? I'll come back to this point). And Dunk would earn his certificate of knighthood that way.
I'm wondering what the tourney at Ashford would be like in this AU. Just Dunk the apprenticed knight rocking up, surrounded by all these knights that are knights on a technicality. And if you thought Baelor (who double graduated, took knighthood as a complete course as well as studying statesmanship) was down bad for hedge knight Dunk, then oh boy, apprenticed knight sir Duncan is all his dreams come true
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people really just walk into horror movies and expect them not to deal with uncomfortable things despite the genre being dedicated to discomfort.
i saw so many people complain that lisa frankenstein, a movie where one of the leads is famously a rotting corpse, was too gross for them. when i walked out of nosferatu, i heard people say that the nudity was uncalled for... in a vampire film. nudity? in MY gothic horror?! unheard of!
a LOT of people really need to accept that maybe some genres just aren't to their taste, idk. not every movie needs to be cookie-cutter clean. sexuality is a staple of gothic horror, if not the wider genre horror in General. you don't need to enjoy it, but it doesn't make these things uncalled for.
I just saw the most Galaxy Brain gender take ever, from a cis man on reddit
[ID: a screenshot of a comment from reddit, with no username visible. The commend reads: This doesn’t make a ton of sense to me either. Setting aside the question of whether gender/sex is assigned or observed at birth, the gender I was assigned at birth was ‘boy.’ The gender I have now is ‘man’. Boys and men have different gender roles, and few adults identify as boys anymore. From this standpoint, every adult has a different gender than the one they had at birth. End ID]
Framing “girl” and “boy” as separate genders from “woman” and “man” is such an amazing take. it’s a framework that accommodates and explains so many trans experiences. Some trans people never were their AGAB. Some feel like they were their AGAB, but that that changed (usually when puberty hits, which is when you start “becoming a man/woman”. The accepted societal path is that girls grow up to into women, and boys grow up into men. But some girls grow up into men, and some boys grow up into women. This guy was a boy who grew up into a man, which generally works out pretty well for people. Some boys and girls grow up into people who aren’t men or women, even! It’s like this random cis guy skipped right over transgender 101, 102, 201, etc. and stumbled directly into Transgender Nirvana.
Second favourite headcanon to incorporate into every Baelor lives, Dunk/Baelor AU I conjure up is that Maekar is long-suffering because of those two lovesick fools
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I was in a writing mood so I wrote a bit of my idea of Dunk going back in time and fighting ( in which you can find here ) instead of him getting his hand chopped off or something else happening. The snippet takes place after the trial. I can’t promise that it’s good lol, but I like it. If there’s any typos please tell me.
Dunk sits down and trys not to think about the last time he finished up the trial. On the bright side he feels much better.
“Duncan! Dunk!” Raymun runs up to him, Steely Pate not to far behind. “That was- that was insane! Who knew you could fight like that?”
Dunk breaths out. “I didn’t. I don’t know. Something clicked.” He’s lying. He’s lying to his friends. He sighs again. “It’s just how Ser Arlen trained me.”
Raymun laughs, slightly hysterical. “Ser Arlen must have been a beast. I mean, at least in war.”
“Yeah, I guess. Is everyone alright?”
“Yeah kinda. Aerions seven are… injured. But come on Duncan! You were insane out there!”
Steely Pate nods “You put on a good show for my armor.”
“I might have a set made for me.” This is a different voice. Baelors. Egg is trailing not so far behind. Dunk closes his eyes. Baelor is an old scar, a bruise that never healed, a broken nose on a man who lost his first fight. It’s a pain that’s always there, the kind you learn to live with. Egg though… all Duncan can think of is the man who went mad. Green and melting gold flash in his mind before he remembers there’s again (it takes a second to count) 11 people to keep alive and sane to stop that future from coming true.
Dunk opens his eyes once more when he feels Egg hug him. Egg looks up at him and exclaims “I knew it! I saw you and I knew you were the best knight! You beat the kingsguard!” Egg unlatches from Dunk then before stepping back and pretending to hold a sword. “You were like ha! Then ha! Then ha!”
The other adults look at Egg fondly, likely remembering themselves as children. Dunk smiles because it’s been a long time since he’s seen Aegon so calm and free.
(gotta think of a less clunky title for this one now, too)
Part 1 in a reblog from @toadtoru-deactivated20260517 (yes, you can't actually tag deactivated blogs, but it didn't feel right to not put something there) with the post that sparked the idea to begin with.
Baelor lives AU. The Second Blackfyre Rebellion has been put to bed.
Dunk would have taken care of the entire bloody thing himself, just to keep Baelor safe, but other people contributed, too. And now he's on his way back to King's Landing to be reunited with the king that he's been trying to protect (who happens to be the same man that he's been missing the whole time).
This won't be the last rebellion that Baelor faces as King, he's sure, but this one has been stamped out and his victorious men are heading home, with the leader in chains, but Baelor is far too busy considering a long-awaited reunion with Dunk to pass much of a thought for Blackfyre.
Baelor is waiting in the courtyard at dawn.
At least, that’s when Maekar (still employing my favourite Baelor lives to become king and makes Maekar his Hand headcanon) finds Baelor standing there. He wouldn't be surprised if he learned that Baelor has been standing out there all night, though. Fuck, he might even have understood if Baelor had been waiting right here since the ravens came in, letting them know the rebellion was over (for now), Blackfyre was in chains and everyone was heading back here. But that everyone included someone more precious to Baelor than he still quite understood so there was no question that he'd be anxious for that return even more than stamping out another rebellion (not that anyone would dare voice that thought). But there was someone precious to Maekar in the party too (Egg, his baby boy, was finally coming home again after years away). So he stood right alongside Baelor and waited, even if the party wasn't expected to arrive until well after noon.
Baelor having his eyes glued to the gate the entire time. Even with the unmistakable sound of an army marching home. Even with the trumpets announcing their imminent arrival. Even with the proclamations. He keeps looking at the gates anyway because he needs to know the second that Dunk is back home again. (Someone somewhere is telling him "Maybe you want to think about the leader of the failed rebellion instead.") He's scanning the crowd the second that the gates are pushed open, nothing else on his mind. And it takes far too long and yet is somehow also immediate for him to find the unmistakable sight of Dunk among the waves of people streaming into the courtyard and take his first deep breath in years. And then another half a second, max, before he's locking eyes with Dunk.
And then Baelor turns around and marches straight back into the Red Keep.
-
Dunk hasn't been listening to Egg for a while now. He's been at least partly distracted since they started the journey back home again, but it really ramped up when that journey entered its final day and since the first sighting of the city itself? Well, he hasn't been able to pay attention to anything other than getting home again. He knows that Egg is chattering away, his nervous energy coming out a lot louder than Dunk's own single-minded focus, but the only thing running through his head is "Baelor. Baelor. Baelor." He pushes his way through the crowd, wanting to get through the gates as soon as possible, even if there are more important matters to be addressed first- he doesn't really give a fuck about that right now though. And then he's in thr courtyard, scanning the welcoming party for a familiar face (it's been years, but Baelor's is a face that he's seen every night in his dreams and he knows that he'd recognise him, regardless of any change, in a heartbeat). And then there he is. Standing at the top of the stone steps, right next to Maekar. And--
--walking back into the Red Keep?
Dunk doesn't have the time to be confused or saddened or distressed because the next second, Maekar is right next to them, primarily to check on Egg for himself, but he has another purpose, too.
"He wants to see you." Maekar looking Dunk up and down in that way that still makes Dunk feel nervous all these years later. "I imagine he thought a private reunion would be best for all involved. He's in his chambers. I assume you remember the way."
And Dunk doesn't have the time to be embarrassed (the implication of Maekar's words is clear and it's not as if there weren't whispers before he left about the long hours he spent in Baelor's chambers either, but nothing physical happened, save maybe for one occasion of hand-holding, even if they were falling in love the entire time), not because Maekar is spiriting Egg away for a family reunion (maybe even Aemon is back from the Citadel for now, too), but because he's already taking off after Baelor, before Maekar has even finished speaking. He gets through the Red Keep, to Baelor's door, in record time and had to knock exactly one time before Baelor's voice is calling out:
"Enter." (Actually maybe Dunk isn't even done knocking before Baelor is inviting him inside, such is the faith he has in Dunk to follow him immediatel- there's no way it was anyone other than Dunk at his door).
Dunk throws the door open (probably hard enough to break something) and stumbles into the room and there's a moment that stretches into a lifetime where they just stare at each other (taking stock of all the differences they see in each other, but mostly still noticing all the ways they're exactly the same, the very person they've been itching to get back to all this time) before they move.
They mistime things a little, though, so Baelor is still half stepping forward as Dunk is sliding to his knees (the way you're supposed to do to offer deference to the king, not for anything else. Yet) so Dunk's head collides with Baelor's stomach, Baelor gets the wind knocked out of him a little, Dunk drops whatever he's still carrying, Baelor almost tumbles to the floor, but they remain upright, almost laughing at the absurdity.
"I'm sorry," Dunk mutters against Baelor's stomach, while his hands find Baelor's hips.
"Don't be," Baelor mutters back, while his fingers tangle in Dunk's hair.
(They haven’t talked about what all those late night talks and gravitating towards each other and all the ravens exchanged while Dunk was gone, but also they don't even really need to- they Just Know so the physical contact is almost on instinct now)
Baelor is the one who grumbles when Dunk pulls back, but then he's looking down into Dunk's eyes and he can't find anything to complain about. He runs his thumb over the scar on Dunk's cheek (maybe thinks about letting down Dunk's longer than last he saw it hair and running his hands all the way through it).
Dunk looks up at Baelor, taking stock of all the new grey hairs he's gained in the last few years (and maybe begins to think about the *other* implications of his current position and how he doesn't mind that one bit).
And then Baelor says something that neither of them are really expecting. "You're covered in blood."
And that kind of breaks the spell a little.
Dunk, tips of his ears and probably his cheeks too flaming red, stumbles to his feet, stammering an apology. "Lack of form, right? Should always try and fancy yourself up a little before going to meet a king. I can--"
Baelor, who has far more important things on his mind than the blood that Dunk is smearing on his clothes, manages to stop him by grabbing his hand (it works surprisingly quickly, which is information he files away for later, too).
Then Dunk is still bright red, but now he's smiling instead of frowning.
Baelor considers this a win and smiles a genuine smile before he asks about the blood again.
"If it's any help, most of it isn't mine."
And somehow that leads to Baelor having even more questions.
So Dunk launches into a series of stories. First, the blood that is his is only a couple of days, max, old and a consequence of him grabbing some jagged rock in the Kingswood (yes, it did lead to mockery from Egg and probably a bunch of other people, too). And then the specifics of every other drop of blood on his clothes (peppered with yet more apologies for his lack of cleanliness).
Baelor listens patiently to all of Dunk's stories (and reminds him that none of those apologies are necessary). And then he finally asks, "So did the jagged rock fight back?" Because he hasn't failed to notice that the hand he's holding, the one that bears the cut and the bandage that now covers it, also has bruised and scraped knuckles and Dunk hasn't mentioned anything about a punch.
And this is the thing that makes Dunk clam up a little and try to pull back.
Baelor won't let him, of course.
"I suppose it's bad form to strike a hostage."
And Baelor had genuinely forgotten that it wasn't just Dunk coming home, but this is the thing that reminds him that another rebellion is over and there's another Blackfyre in chains in the dungeons somewhere. He doesn't ask if Dunk struck him. He doesn't have to.
"He said some very unflattering things about you just outside the city walls. I couldn't let that stand."
Baelor doesn't asks for details- that can come later.
"I didn't want to stop fighting for you, just because he's in chains now. I don't want to ever stop fighting for you."
Baelor dropping Dunk's hand, but only so that he can reach up, drape his arms over Dunk's shoulders and drag him down, pressing their foreheads together. "Thank you." Because he knows that he's lucky to have a warrior like Dunk out there, fighting to protect his king through any danger the world throws at him, but more than that, he knows that he's lucky to have a man like Dunk love him. "But I would very much like for you to stop talking now."
Dunk probably panicking that Baelor is mad and about to kick him out and he'll never--
"I would very much like to kiss you and I think that would be much easier to do if your mouth wasn't otherwise occupied."