I have a cluster A personality disorder. I can barely experience pleasure, so what led me to the blackpill was the observation of the reality instead of active interaction with it. You seem like a fitting person to ask. When you say you find contentment in life, does it mean you take great pleasure in the small things? When you drink a cup of tea, do you feel really, really good? A big wave of enjoyment washes over you? I just feel… nothing. When you look at the sunset, what do you feel? Again, I feel nothing. I might as well look at the wall. I don’t get any pleasure from the nicotine. Alcohol makes me sleepy. I’m drug-resistant. Asexual. The only exceptions that bring me a bit of relief from the constant numbness are music and rarely a book, game, movie. So, once again: does pleasure feel really, really good for you – blissful, ecstatic – or is it just… good?
Interesting. Thank you for sharing how your experience shaped your beliefs. I find contentment in neutrality, and believe that I feel a regular level of enjoyment while engaging in certain activities. I’m actually quite confused when I encounter people who talk about how super pleasurable regular undertakings are. I’ll drink tea and think “yum, this is nice” but move on very quickly. Same for when I’m looking at the sunset. I do feel blissful when I’m out in nature or listening to specific songs, and I've felt euphoric and blissful when in the company of a true and loving friend, but that's a less common occurrence. Most of day to day life is just neutral, and I resonate strongly with ideas such as experiencing life with a level of detachment for this reason. Certain pleasure can be good, but they're not all encompassing. I find much of it to be overrated. I hope that you're able to find contentment as much as possible, and that life will be kind to you.
















