Hope Set High.

We don’t think much of our healthy bodies until we’re injured.

as a kid I never appreciated the comedic genius of my elementary school principal, who, whenever our school won against another school in a sport, would play what felt like 2 minutes of “we are the champions” over the PA during announcements, and just as it’s going “cuz we are the champions…of” he’d hit stop and his deadpan voice over the PA system would go “Brampton.”

We had a middle school dance dj who would do something similar with party in the USA. He’d play the chorus like “yeah yeah yeah it’s a party in the..” and then stop the music and just say “school”

this is so fucking funny

imma start telling guys “i know a spot” then drop them off at a therapist

The Grandma rule is a good way to determine if actions constitute as cheating in a relationship. If it’s normal to do that action with grandma, it’s not cheating.

If you study history far back enough, it becomes biology, then geography, then chemistry, then physics, and lastly mathematics.

It’s so embarrassing that people have met a version of you that isn’t you anymore

If you ever become a person of interest and the media stalks you or camps out at your house, just wear a face shield with the word “FUCK” printed on it whenever you go outside. Your face will get blurred out for you by the networks, or won’t even be shown at all.

Academic textbooks are a big fat scam, and the essence of planned obsolescence. They are designed to become irrelevant in only a few years, and are costly while actually changing very little.

Peppers evolved to be spicy to avoid being eaten, and it had the opposite effect.