we all know that law chronically does not sleep but what if another insomniac joined the crew and what if that sleep-deprived person was you?
the polar tang is always unusually quiet at night. the crew have mostly settled into their respective bunks and the only sign of life left is the constant reassuring hum that seems to be vibrating through the ship's walls at all times.
except there is one last other thing left or rather one person, and that person is you.
you have always had trouble sleeping. it started back when you were a teenager, and now that you're older with new struggles and more worries, it only keeps getting worse. it's not that you don't want to sleep, you crave it desperately, maybe more than anything else, but lying in bed wide awake every night is probably the most infuriating experience you have ever had. (even more infuriating than playing cards with shachi who keeps cheating very badly every single time.)
now, you know that leaving the comfort of your bed might not help you fall asleep any faster but you've never done well with time that feels wasted and so you've gotten into the habit of busying yourself until you feel like it's worth another try to enter dream land.
the crew sometimes jokes about the helpful ghost that seems to be haunting their ship because they keep waking up to things they swear were broken when they went to bed last night suddenly fixed.
no one really mentions it, apart from the occasional jokes, because even after five months of sailing with them, no one's really sure how to approach you about it. but it's an unspoken agreement that whenever someone finds you passed out on the floor next to a boiler that was causing trouble the day before, a wrench still in your hand, they let you sleep. it doesn't happen every night, but usually you manage to catch up on at least a few hours like this. sometimes someone even drapes a blanket over you. (you've tried to figure out who it is, who cares enough to go get a blanket from somewhere and come back to carefully place it on top of your sleeping form, but whenever you mention it to anyone they act like they have no idea what you're talking about.)
you're not sure how your captain feels about you missing early morning meetings from time to time, when you've finally managed to fall asleep and no one had the heart to wake you up - the ever present shadows under your eyes telling them that you desperately need the rest - but the crew insists they can brief you about everything at lunch anyways.
it's a delicate balance you and the others have settled into and it's what keeps you sane through those countless sleepless nights.
the only issue is that lately there hasn't been much left to fix anymore.
at first, you think that maybe there can't be something broken all the time, maybe you've finally caught up on all the little emergencies that are always going on.
but you live on a submarine with like 20 other people. two of those people being penguin and shachi. there's always something that needs fixing.
and you could've sworn that the coffee maker wasn't working just this morning, but when you enter the kitchen at 2am sharp, toolbox in hand, you notice that the little yellow light signaling the machine is doing it's thing is glowing again, and someone has put a jug into the compartment that is already filling with steaming hot black coffee.
before you can even begin to wonder who on this ship has decided to make coffee in the middle of the night, you hear someone clear their throat behind you.
a little startled you glance back to find law standing behind the door. he's leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, casual as ever.
(was he.. waiting for you?)
"i've been wondering how my crew manages to get so many tasks done lately but i'm starting to think that it's not the crew."
he pushes himself off the wall.
he looks at you with what you interpret as a contemplating gaze, but if you're being honest you have no idea what's going through his head. it's always hard to read him.
a silent moment forms between you while you consider what to say. your brain isn't working right at this time of night. you inhale to say something, anything, to not make this situation any weirder than it already is but he beats you to it. you let out your breath, relieved that you don't have to come up with an excuse right away.
"why are you doing this?"
and for god's sake, that's an even worse question to answer.
you try to collect yourself and start stammering something, random words quietly bubbling out of you. you think you hear yourself mumble something along the lines of "just- uh, doing my job", but before you can form a coherent explanation, law stops you again.
"you know that you don't have to prove yourself, right? you have already earned your place on this ship."
you look up in quiet surprise.
he spoke in the same voice as always - sharp, controlled and direct, not leaving anything up for interpretation. but in his eyes, and along the sharp structure of his face, lies a softness you're not used to seeing on your captain.
something about it makes you incredibly nervous. but it also drains the tension out of your shoulders and you notice yourself relax a little.
does he think you stay awake every night to impress him? and what's even more important: is he concerned about you?
"i can't sleep", you blurt.
you don't want him to worry about you - about this.
"it's really not that deep, i've always had issues falling asleep and i just like to use the time i'd spend lying awake in my bed anyways for something useful instead."
law gives you a half-smile.
a smile just tiny enough to be gone the second you see it.
then he moves over to the table and sits down before patting the space next to him.
"tell me more. i'm a doctor. maybe i can help."
he looks up at you expectantly.
you realize you're still just standing there, by the coffee maker, with your stupid toolbox and you hesitate for a moment before you rush to put it down and almost stumble over it as you go to sit down next to law at the table.
"i don't mean to question your abilities as a doctor, but honestly i think i've tried everything", you sigh and rest your hands on the table before resting your forehead on top of them.
"it's quite frustrating, really", you turn your head so you can look up at him, putting your cheek on top of your stacked hands. "nothing seems to help."
"fixing the coffee maker at four in the morning will not help you fall asleep any faster either", he hums quietly.
"yeah, what's up with that by the way? i swear it was still broken at breakfast."
"i fixed it", he admits casually. "in hopes of finally making you go to bed on time."
you raise your brows in surprise.
has law been aware of your bad sleeping habits all this time?
he just seems to keep doing it tonight. surprising you. catching you off guard in the dimly lit kitchen at 2am, like some kind of weirdly concerned ghost.
you start wondering if your captain also was the one to fix the lights in the storage room two nights ago.
"but i see now how my strategy might be flawed", law says and has the audacity to sound slightly amused.
"thank you anyways", you mutter. "for trying." and then: "i didn't realize you cared so much."
now he seems to be the one surprised. which, in terms of law's range of publicly displayed emotions, is barely noticable, but you still do. you notice. you always do.
"what kind of captain would i be if i didn't care about the wellbeing of my crew?", he says in a tone you can't quite place. but then again you don't think you can place anything about him ever.
and yeah, you're guessing that it makes sense for him to care about the members of his crew getting enough sleep every night. and it's not like it stops there. he always makes sure you're all eating right and then there's the regular medical check ups. he makes sure you're all well taken care of in any way he can. and you're beginning to wonder if maybe you've just been imagining the way law always seems to soften around the edges when it comes to you.
"probably not a very good one", you try to joke but it comes out a little strained.
you watch him stare at something that isn't actually there, before his shoulders drop a little and he looks back down at you, with eyes that seem to be struggling with something unknown to you.
"i care about you", he says. "because you're part of the crew, of course, but also because you're-"
and it seems like he deflates a little as the words leave his mouth.
your brain starts working towards realizing what law just said in slow, agonizing steps.
you lift your head off the table, then lift yourself to sit up straighter. you tilt your head up slightly to be able to catch his eyes with yours properly. you open your mouth. then close it. you take a shallow breath, because your heart might burst at any moment now and your ribcage won't open properly to let in more air for a reason your brain is too slow to name.
you think you feel yourself smile but you can't be sure.
he didn't really say much. but it's law. law, who doesn't waste his breath for anything untrue ever. law, who chooses his words so carefully that every syllable he speaks is worth more than entire libraries ever could be. law, who only speaks when he deems it absolutely necessary. law, who, unbeknownst to you, hasn't told anyone that he cares in such a long time, that he almost can't believe he could still pronounce the words right.
something shifts. the air feels different. and law stands up.
is he leaving? he can't be leaving! you haven't even had the chance to say anything, he can't just leave you sitting here with all of these weird feelings and emotions coursing through you, it's like your entire body is screaming and you can't move, hell, you're pretty sure you've forgotten how to breathe at some point.
"let's go", he says warmly.
you look up to where he's standing by the door.
"what?", you hear yourself say. "where?"
"come on", he says and before you can say anything else he's already left the room.
of course you get up and follow him out of the kitchen, down the hallway.
you feel a little like a lost puppy, just trailing behind your captain like this. you could obviously just catch up to him, but the hallways are narrow on the polar tang and you don't trust yourself to be in such close proximity of him right now.
his words keep replaying in your head until they start sounding like a scratched record that your brain produced, and you get so lost between your whirling thoughts and rewinding the moment over and over again that you don't notice where you're going until you're there.
law suddenly stops and opens a door, before gesturing for you to go inside the room.
you do just that, only half managing to make your damn brain shut up, and then you look up and you stop in your tracks because you're standing in the only place you've never been to on the entire ship.
it's laws room. captain's quarters. the only door that's always closed.
and you can see his desk. and shelves filled with books. and his bed backed against the wall. it's honestly smaller than you expected. (the room. not the bed. the bed is fine. why are you thinking about the bed.)
you feel a hand on your lower back as law pushes you a little further into the room so he can come inside as well.
and in any other situation you probably would have freaked out about that little gesture alone, but you're too busy freaking out about literally everything else, this entire strange caricature of a night, that you don't even get to notice how his hand lingers before he carefully takes it away again.
"the sheets are fresh", law says from behind you, quietly. "i will let the others know you're sleeping in tomorrow morning."
you hear the door creak and you turn around so fast you get whiplash.
law's hand is on the doorknob, clearly meaning to go and leave you here. in his quarters. to sleep. in his room. on his bed.
"what?", you say eloquently.
"you. bed. now. captain's orders."
"i- but you.. where will you go?"
"i'll be fine." he walks over to you and gestures towards the bed (his bed!) again. "now go get some rest."
and you have the impulse to argue with him, you want to say something, you want to talk about that moment you just shared in the galley, and maybe also about how it really doesn't feel right that he's just leaving you here in his room all by yourself, but the only thing that comes out of your mouth is:
"uh, i mean- yeah, sure", and then a quiet "thank you."
law nods and then turns around again to leave the room.
you have to get a grip on yourself.
"law", you say and it's so quiet that you're surprised when he actually stops walking.
"hm?", he turns his head and looks at you.
you search his face for something, anything, any sign of whatever it is that you're looking for, because you don't even know what you're expecting to see, but there's nothing there, nothing at all for you to hold onto.
but it doesn't matter. law was honest with you and now you're going to show him the same kind of honesty in return. he deserves to know how you feel, too. you brace yourself before you let out the words.
"i don't want you to go."
you watch as your words hit him, and it's almost comical, because for a split second he actually looks like he got hit. there's the tiniest hint of motion, only a slight tear in his stoic demeanour, but it goes through his entire body, shakes him to his core, and you're pretty sure you hear his breath hitch.
for a long moment you just watch each other in your awkward and unsure, but all the while shared misery.
"can you say that again?", law then asks, he pleads, and you don't think you've ever seen him like this, never seen him so soft and open, never seen this side of him that is making you wonder what else this man is hiding.
and isn't that a clichΓ© if you've ever seen one? the cold and mean 'surgeon of death', hiding his softest parts behind a mask that he never takes off. who would've guessed.
"stay, please. i want you to stay", you say in all your honesty, because it doesn't matter anymore, you've already decided to be brave about this and there's no way back now.
he draws in a soft breath.
and he steps away from the door, quietly closing it behind him, and then he carefully crosses through the room, all the way over to you.
you see the exact moment he swallows down his hesitation, because then he's climbing into his bed and holding up the covers for you, waiting for you to lie down next to him.
and you take a second to be very really glad about the fact that he spared you the awkward moment of debating wether it was too much to actually share the bed.
and so you take the place next to him and there seems to be an unspoken agreement of some sort between you, that apparently both of you are too tired to make a fuss about anything anymore, and that this is a moment of much needed comfort for the both of you and so you barely hesitate when you scoot closer and he doesn't wait even a second before he wraps his arms around you.
you pass out within the same minute.
the next morning you wake up to law's even breathing and the weight of his arm that is still holding you close to his chest. you breathe in and almost choke because it's like you just inhaled an overdose of law. you're not just wrapped up in his arms, you're wrapped up in him, in his very essence, in trafalgar law in his entirety.
and then he wakes up and he starts moving and blinking and he looks down at you and your eyes lock and it's a moment that feels larger than life itself.
nothing happens. for a minute or two. you just stare. the air around you is so charged, you can almost see the electricity flicker in the corner of your eye.
law is the first to break the stillness, when he moves his hand that is still resting on your back, just a little. his fingers slowly, very slowly, trail down your spine and then back up, before the process repeats itself all over again. it's a small movement, but it's enough.
you don't know who leans in first, but the next thing you know are his lips on yours and your hands in his hair, and his arms pulling you into him, so tight around your waist you feel like you're melting and - oh god - now he's swiping his tongue against your bottom lip and you open your mouth, and suddenly the small room feels very hot, and you press your hand against the back of his neck to pull him impossibly closer, and there's a lip bite and a groan and it's all so beautiful and chaotic that you start wondering if you're still dreaming.
you immediately pull away.
"oh my god", you gasp. "oh my god, i'm not tired."
"for the first time in months i am not tired", you realize. "i slept through the entire night, i slept for hours on end!"
you look at law and shake his shoulders a little, as you beam at him.
he chuckles, actually chuckles, and nuzzles your head softly.
"oh my god, i'm so happy i could just-"
you stop, as a small realization hits you.
"could just what?", he asks, one eyebrow playfully raised as he looks down at you.
"i'm so happy i could kiss you."
a/n: this turned out way sappier than i thought it would, but i still think it's cute. soft law is good for the soul, or so i've heard.
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