Exit Brain, Stage Left, Pursued By Thought

A Parody of "It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas"

(written last Christmas, posted in anticipation of the upcoming winter)

It’s beginning to look a lot like fuck this,

What’s with all this snow?

I'm trying to be bold,

But Jesus it is cold!

I really just would rather stay at home!

It’s beginning to look just like the Arctic

The snow, is piling high

I shovel it off the ground

But there’s more when I turn around

No matter what I try

I dig and I shovel

Pray for the sun while

More clouds come rolling in

I hock and I heave

And hope I can leave

Back to the warmth within

But that is when the snow plow drives down the street again

It looks like there's an ice wall

At the end of my drive

I barely got it clear

When the plow went driving near

I start to fear that I will freeze alive

I go get a bigger shovel

What else can I do?

My next door neighbour

Has a flamethrower

Wish I had one too

I chisel and hack

And throw out my back

And barely make a dent

I start to cry

Feel like I could die

That’s my whole day I've spent

Look at the sky, you'll never guess, what Mother Nature sent

It's beginning to feel a lot like fuck this

I give up for the day

If the weatherman says there's more

I’m gonna stay indoors