Rachel

The child is cheered as he sings, "This my father knows"; and shall not we be comforted as we discern that our dear Friend and tender soul-husband knows all about us? He is the Physician, and if He knows all, there is no need that the patient should know. Hush, thou silly, fluttering heart, prying, peeping, and suspecting! What thou knowest not now, thou shalt know hereafter, and meanwhile Jesus, the beloved Physician, knows thy soul in adversities. Why need the patient analyze all the medicine, or estimate all the symptoms? This is the Physician's work, not mine; it is my business to trust, and His to prescribe. If He shall write His prescription in uncouth characters which I cannot read, I will not be uneasy on that account, but rely upon His unfailing skill to make all plain in the result, however mysterious in the working. He is the Master, and His knowledge is to serve us instead of our own; we are to obey, not to judge: "The servant knoweth not what his lord doeth." Shall the architect explain his plans to every hodman on the works? If he knows his own intent, is it not enough? The vessel on the wheel cannot guess to what pattern it shall be conformed, but if the potter understands his art, what matters the ignorance of the clay? My Lord must not be cross-questioned any more by one so ignorant as I am. He is the Head. All understanding centres there. What judgment has the arm? What comprehension has the foot? All the power to know lies in the head. Why should the member have a brain of its own when the head fulfils for it every intellectual office? Here, then, must the believer rest his comfort in sickness, not that he himself can see the end, but that Jesus knows all. Sweet Lord, be thou for ever eye, and soul, and head for us, and let us be content to know only what Thou choosest to reveal.

For the past week I’ve been in Thailand. For five days I was in a tiny village in North-West Thailand, near the Burmese border, called Go Baw Ta. It was an insane experience! I didn’t actually think it would be as difficult as it was. My church has a mission amongst the Karen people there and I went to teach English. It was exceptionally difficult for a few reasons: 1. Only one person in the hostel/orphanage in which I was staying spoke any English. The others could only say ‘My name is…’ 2. There was only a squat toilet and no shower facilities at all. 3. They use thin mats for beds and it felt like I was sleeping on concrete. I didn’t sleep well the whole time I was there. 4. The roosters and chickens wake up at 3am every morning and begin a continuous and very loud chorus of crowing and clucking until at least 5am every morning, at which time everyone gets up. 5. The house parents didn’t understand that we were there to work, and kept trying to treat us like honoured guests, which was lovely, but also frustrating as we wanted to help!

However, in saying all that,  it was such an honour and a blessing to teach those beautiful children a little bit of English! They were so intelligent and sweet  and picked it up so quickly.

I loved spending time too with my two friends and sister with whom I went. Time spent together laughing hysterically for no reason, planning English lessons together, sharing the difficult things, praying with and for each other and singing Psalms together.

This afternoon I finished reading a book called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. This book has been so challenging, but also encouraging, for me. I'd like to share a little of what it's taught me.

Ann's story begins because she is dared by a friend to begin a thanks journal and count one thousand things. It is the story of her journey into  eucharisteo (thanksgiving) which

gently slowed [her] down, opened [her] hand to purge [her] of [her] hold, [her]control, on the world. With each gift [she] had accepted and given thanks for, [she] let go of [her] own will and accepted His. (p. 209)

The foundational point upon which the whole book is built is that everything we receive is a gift of God and, because of that, we should be living a life of thanksgiving. This means giving thanks not only in the wonderful things that happen in our lives, but also in the monotonous things that make up the day-to-day and the hard things.

Often this means dying to ourselves and the things we want (Gal 2:20), being able to give thanks for the things that hurt; especially because we receive the benefits of the thing that hurt beyond our understanding or imagination.

Jesus offers thanksgiving for even that which will break Him and crush Him and wound Him and yield a bounty of joy...In the eucharist, in a very real way, in a digestible, consuming oneness way,  I'm celebrating a greater gain through great loss. The eucharist invites us to give thanks for the dying. To participate in His death with our own daily dying and give thanks for it. (pp. 36 & 37)

If we give in to the temptation to be bitter, angry, hurt, discontent, anxious rather than thankful we are giving in to Satan, we are blaspheming!

What compels me to name these moments of upheavals and annoyances instead of grace and gift? Why deprive myself of joy's oxygen? The swiftness and starkness of the answer startle. Because you believe in the power of the pit.

Really? Do I really smother my own joy because I believe that anger achieves more than love? That Satan's way is more powerful, more practical, more fulfilling in my daily life than Jesus' way? Why else get angry? Isn't it because I think complaining, exasperation, resentment will pound me up into the full life I really want?

Blasphemer.

Blasphemer.        (pp. 125 & 126)

This book challenged me to really look at the way I live. Is my life one of thanksgiving? One of trust and belief that my Father really is working all things together for my good (Romans 8:28)?

If authentic, saving belief is the act of trusting, then to choose stress is an act of disbelief...atheism.

Anything less than gratitude and trust is practical atheism.  (p.148)

Life can be difficult, or even just dull. It slowly wears at you, making you tired and resentful and discontent. But, as children of the most High God, we are called to rejoice! (Phil 4:4) To surrender all things, every worry, every hurt, every desire, to the wise, able and sovereign hands of our Lord.

Only self can kill joy.

I'm the one doing this to me.

Joy is a flame that glimmers only in the palm of the open and humble hand. In an open and humble palm, released and surrendered to receive. The moment the hand is clenched tight, fingers all pointing towards self and rights and demands, joy is snuffed out. Anger is the lid that suffocates joy until she lies limp and lifeless...The demanding of my own will is the singular force that smothers out joy - nothing else. (p.177)

Rather than living a life of selfishness, always looking for what will make me feel good about myself, what will bring me satisfaction and happiness, this book challenged me to give, to see thanksgiving as a verb, as a way of life.

Eucharisteo means 'to give thanks,' and give is a verb, something that we do. God calls me to do thanks. To give the thanks away. That thanks-giving might literally become thanks-living. That our lives become the very blessings we have received.

I am blessed. I can bless. Imagine! I could let Him make me the gift!

I could be the joy!   (p. 193)

In everything, in every part of life. In the job which is mind-numbingly boring, in the chores around the house that seem so thankless; in all things, if we give thanks to our Lord, if we use it as an opportunity to serve Him and others we are fulfilling our calling on this earth, we are giving glory to God! And more than that, we will experience the joy that only comes as we let go of self and cling on to our all-wise, all-knowing and all-worthy Lord and Saviour, giving thanks for all the ways in which He has so richly blessed us.

In saying how much I loved this book, there were a few things I feel detracted a bit:

The implication was that thanksgiving leads or contributes to salvation (salvation by grace + works [thanksgiving])

The way it was written, while very descriptive, was a little bit difficult at times as it was quite often grammatically incorrect. By the fact that it was very often, and consistent, I figured the author was intentionally writing that way but, for me, it made it a little more difficult to read.

All in all, if you want a book that will change the way you think, or at least make you realise you need to change the way you think, I would definitely recommend One Thousand Gifts!