Rabid

adolescence is a great movie trust

Straight up forgot to post this here!!

I watched the Utena movie yesterday again, this time in movie theater (it's peak). Originally the mini Utena is going to be a car buuut it's too hard to draw.

I think I'm allergic to not paint the colors on top of the line art. So I just do the color first this time.

Her brother is dead. Her abuser is gone. The specter of him infects her world though. Anthy seeks out Utena. She brings the people Utena knows and loves into a miraculous school, and she goes to meet Utena, but then the moment is ruined. Utena does not remember Anthy. Even worse, Utena wears the Rose Seal.

In a world void of her abuser, Anthy realizes she does not know how to desire or be desired as anyone other than the Rose Bride. So she falls back into the role. She tries to seduce Utena as the Rose Bride. She tries to fit herself and Utena into a dynamic she is familiar: the naive Prince and the attentive Rose Bride. It doesn't work, and the body of Anthy's trauma rots beneath the roses until it's dug up.

I've always been confused about why Utena was so fixated on Touga in the movie, but on my most recent rewatch, it clicked. In the original series, Utena misremembers Touga as her Prince. In the movie, she is misremembering Touga once more, attributing to him promises and emotions she actually felt for Anthy. Touga is the violence Utena experienced in Akio's world and then forgot once she entered Anthy's world. It's another body Anthy did not account for.

When Utena has her breakdown in the rose garden, she acts in a way familiar to Anthy. She tackles Anthy and shoves her to the ground. White butterflies, associated with sexual violence, flutter in the background and Anthy gives into it willingly. She swears this is what she wants: to be Utena's even if it means being Utena's Rose Bride. But Utena surprises Anthy again. She doesn't hurt Anthy, she just mourns the fact that she never got to see the stars with Touga. And this brings directly to mind their most precious promise from the series: Someday, together, we'll shine.

Utena falls asleep, and Anthy is able to act against the role of the Rose Bride for Utena's sake. She stands, and she destroys her rose garden so that Utena can see the stars.

You got a fast car

Is it fast enough so we can fly away?

We gotta make a decision