hello underground creatures of the internet, if you've stumbled upon my account.
I post funny silly Marvel related shitposts, particularly Thunderbolts*, but I'm also hoping to post about my fav songs/bands, The Boys, other series that have caught my fleeting hyperfixation finder 2000
alt acc of @knoxy0rat, used to be a Scarlet Scarab blog so if that's why your here then I'm sorry to disappoint! pardon my autisticness if I get too excited or pissed, my mind is like a hamster in a spinning wheel
I hope to make intro posts for my OCs too, but the main ones you will hear is Embry; (Bob Reynolds gf, catgirl, powers: astral projection and possession) Jett; (John Walker's situationship bf, catboy, no powers other than being a cat demihuman) Peria; (Moon Boy's wife, tiger demihuman, ability to switch into a tiger form and understand cat language)
ALSO, just fyi, this is not a completely SFW account. i do post agere things in non-sexual ways, i do age regress in a non-sexual way. i do post suggestive and NSFW content, but never involving the agere community or any minors. if you have come to my page liking one of my agere posts, i just wanna warn you and say this so things do not get confused.
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sometimes Bob just. forgets he's invincible. like, he can get hurt when he's caught off-guard, but his super-healing is fast. he just forgets he's super-powered. random ass scenes below the cut (ft. Embry and antics from the Thunderbolts :3)
the Thunderbolts had a "mandatory vacation" to let off steam and chill tf out and were sent to a cottage by a lake. Ava and Bucky aren't the biggest fans of water, but Alexei, Yelena, Embry and John are always in the water. Bob loves the water too, but he was a bit hesitant walking in when the bottom was more mucky then sandy.
"I don't wanna leech to latch onto me" he complains. but above the water, "I don't wanna get bitten by mosquitoes :("
a lot of the mosquitoes get their probiscis snapped off because they try to bite him, but his skin is invulnerable. he does get a few though because he didn't realize they were on him.
when a barefoot John has been walking around the cottage after a swim, he tracks a tiny bit of blood. why? because a fat ass leech was latched onto his calf, and everyone else just thought it was just alge or something that was still clinging to his skin. well, Ava knew it was a leech but decided not to tell him.
Bob is very squeemish, so when John ripped it off, Bob's face was pulled into a sneer of disgust, his hands were twitching and his skin had that sensation of something squirming on it. Alexei offered to burn it alive, Yelena offered to chop it because she wanted to see "how much of John's blood would spill out" (John looked very alarmed) and Ava offered to drown it in salt. Embry ended up smashing it between two rocks, Yelena cheered, and Bob watched, horrified, through the window.
-- -- -- --
during a mission, Bob was caught off guard and shot. he was okay, of course, but it did still shake him up. he was worried, so just incase, him and Embry (who worked as an emotional support girlfriend) went down to the medbay. there was a bullet that had migrated to his stomach, but she assured him that by a few days his stomach acids would break it up and he'd be fine.
that night, it was Alexei's turn to make dinner, and he made an abomination of a meal. everyone else refused but Bob, being kind (and a bit of a push-over) had some. que to him vomiting his guts up in his on-suite bathroom.
(I have a hc that his body has a developed response to vomit things up that felt wrong. he's tried to overdose before, he's eaten a lot of things he shouldn't have when he was homeless, and his body now just rejects some food. sometimes it's the texture, sometimes it's the taste, he can't handle super spicy things because of that, and he just in general has a sensitive stomach and is squeemish.)
Embry, who has been holding up his hair and rubbing his back, and Bob, who was just used to ts, both went silent as a hard *clunk* hit the bottom of the toilet. that bullet that had been easily ignored and assumed "not a big deal" was vomited up. Bob has vomited up a lot of things, but this was new.
don't worry, Embry cuddled him for the rest of the night and his doctor said "that's one way to get rid of a bullet"
After living together long enough, the Thunderbolts essentially develop their own secret language. Not on purpose, mind you. And they donβt even realize how strange it is until they have to work with other heroes and everyone stares at them like they have two heads.
It starts with the others making fun of Bucky for using outdated slang from the 1930s. He doesnβt care to break the habit or learn the modern slang, but he decides he has to get back at them somehow. So he starts making things up. At first, theyβre close enough that only he can tell theyβre fake, but then he starts pushing to see how weird he can get before they realize heβs fucking with them.
Once she figures it out, Yelena follows suit by mixing made up Russian phrases with her real ones. Alexei soon joins her (after she had to explain what she was doing multiple times so he wouldnβt ruin the joke), then Bob and John start throwing out fake Southern phrases left and right. And Ava gets to join in twofold, because she adds in fake and real phrases from both England and Argentina.
It doesnβt take them long to figure out theyβre all doing the same bit, but it doesnβt take the fun out of it. They keep doing it, and some of the fake slang starts to stick. Eventually, theyβve created a mishmash of phrases pulled from across time and space, as well as from their own asses, that they all understand perfectly. Itβs more secure than any code any intelligence agencies have ever come up with.
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We need a thunderbolts* holiday special but instead of christmas like usual it's halloween and we get to see the shenanigans they get up to around october
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just thinking about Steven Grant. keep rewatching the first episode of Moon Knight bc i love him so much
Steven sleepwalking and sleeptalking. he already has trouble sleeping, and his body has this restless energy from his alters going on missions (but mostly because he just drank tea right before bed. but not the sleepy kind of tea)
just. imagine waking up to the sounds of soft shuffling and British jargon being murmured under breath, and when you peek up from your tangle of covers, it's just Steven. looking through one of his many shelves with half-lidded eyes and groggy, uncoordinated movements that tells you he definitely isn't fully conscious of his actions.
"Stevie, what're you doing?" you murmur faintly, half-asleep still
"I've gotta return this book," he grumbles, pulling a book from the shelf clumsily and nearly dropping it. he looks at the label like he's trying to read despite it being too dark to make out anything but the large title.
"I think you own that one, baby." you can't help but smile softly at his antics, but also prepared to jump out of bed if he starts stumbling
Steven looks up at you like you were trying to explain the the sky was green, his nose adorably scrunched in confusion. "no... no, love, I mean the library. gotta... gotta return it to the library.." you here his murmurs trail off, something about how the librarian will give pay back.
"mhm," you hum before flopping back into bed. you really didn't feel like arguing with a stubborn, barely conscious Steven. "come back to bed. we can return the book tomorrow."
Steven's nose stays scrunched, and he doesn't make a move to take you up on that offer. you can see him squinting, his mind trying to wrap around the idea of returning the book tomorrow, not right this second
"I'll give you cuddles." you call from under the layers of blankets.
you didn't have to tell Steven twice. with a low groan, he wobbles towards the bed before collapsing. his mind didn't even register that the book was still in his hand.
"there. isn't that better?" you chuckle, tossing the blankets over his slumped body. it was like there was a switch in his brain, and as soon as his body touched the comfortable sancuary of the bed, he passed out.
he didn't respond to you, but a bit later, he let out a soft snore into the pillow.
i see Steven's sleepwalking and talking like Ron Weasley's from Harry Potter. they are just silly, and he's confused as fuck but stubborn.
i didn't know how to fully capture this aesthetic, so i made a moodboard of it. like a green underwater observatory, but it have that calm feeling too. idk i saw a few pics of this aesthetic and i needed to put it all together.
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