humans are space orks: brushing our teeth
Alien: (Walks in on their human crewmate while they were at the sink in the public ship bathrooms.)
(Dont ask. It makes sense, it does)
Human: (Looks over with their toothbrush dangling out of their mouth, foam dripping.)
Alien: "What are you doing? Is that spit?"
Human: (Simultaneously continues to brush their teeth, laughs, and tries to answer at the same time, ultimately failing.)
Alien: (Waits patiently for the human to finish and explain themselves. They're disgusted, not rude, come on.)
Human: (Wiping the leftover water from their lips.) "I was brushing my teeth."
Alien: "You brush those? Like hair?"
Human: "Ahhh, no. I use a toothbrush, see?" (Holds it out for alien to see.)
Alien: "Respectfully, get it away from me."
Human: "Fair. Anyway. I have to brush my teeth twice a day. I can't believe you didn't know this."
Alien: "But I thought you said teeth were bones."
Alien: "You brush your bones?"
Human: "Yes, but... but no. It's - it's different."
Alien: "Why only your teeth? What happens to the rest of them?"
Human: "I've never really thought about the rest of them. I guess I can't reach those."
Alien: (Whispering) "You have dirty bones."
Human: "Oh, my gods, I'm going back to bed!"
Alien: (Fully intended to annoy them and is happy it worked, calling out as they stomp away.) "Sorryyyy, don't be mad in the morning!"
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