🐑

i trust girls with literally everything but if a boy asks me like what my favorite color is im like what the fuck are u trying to do…….

don’t!!! fake!!!! your!!!! interests!!!! to!!!! make!!!! someone!!!! like!!!!! you!!!!

why do old people have to grab your entire phone when you try to show them a picture like you do not need to feel every square inch of this device in order to see the screen just use your eyes i promise that’s exactly how seeing things works. like whenever i show someone my screen and they start to reach their hand out i’m like nvm bye bitch

Fun fact: There's nothing fucking hotter than neck kissing and whispering in my ear exactly what you're about to do to me

absolutely everything in the world can be referenced back to an episode of spongebob

i can only handle so much socializing until i get tired and start getting irritated towards everyone and want to go home and sleep or lock myself in my room and go on the computer

Gay marriage and straight marriage is like bikini tops and bras: they’re the same exact thing but only one is socially acceptable in public.

*drops mic*

This is my favorite episode

It’s like a Renaissance painting