here by the ocean

i'm not saying i expect them to know how much harder having albinism makes my life, but i would like to shed some light on the subject

the basics: my skin is super sensitive to the sunlight so i can't be outside for long and my eyesight is terrible (legally blind)

but people don't realize the effects this has on everyday life

physical things that suck:

my hair is naturally white and people stare if i don't dye it

my skin is unnaturally pale, and again, people stare

my eyebrows are white and since my skin is so pale it looks like i dont even have eyebrows

my eyelashes are white

i have a super high risk of skin cancer

i would sunburn super easily

i can't be outside for more than a little bit

i have to wear sunscreen no matter how short i'm outside

i'm always alone when my friends decide to eat lunch outside or hang out outside after school (like they do 99% of the time)

i can never go to outside parties (like pool parties)

i miss out on a lot of social events

i can't see where i'm going outside so i tend to run into things

i always have to wear sunglasses outside during the day even on the cloudiest days ever because my eyes are light sensitive since they're such a light purple that i pretty much lack an iris to shield me

i get extremely self-conscious from wearing sunglasses when it's cloudy and people make rude comments

i don't look like my parents because they have darker skin (indian) and black hair while i'm fair-skinned and blonde and it just make me feel out of place sometimes when people ask if i'm adopted (not that there's anything wrong with being adopted but i'm not and i just want to look like my parents)

vision limitations that suck:

can't read anything without a magnifying glass. this makes me extremely self-conscious especially at the start of the school year when people look at me weird

can't go anywhere without a magnifier really

can't see the whiteboard at school

can't see stuff on the projector

can't learn anything in math class in particular bc lessons are entirely on the whiteboard/projector and i can't see any of it

can't see details in video clips at school

can't read the posters on the wall when i'm bored

can't read dictionaries because they're too small

can't see my own handwriting very well

can't read subtitles in movies (even in huge theater screens)

can't really see pictures on phones

can't see videos on phones

can't read any phones (except iphone because it has a magnification feature)

can't see the school computers without holding a magnifying glass up to them which also makes me feel extremely self-conscious and which is extremely inefficient when i need to type and only have one hand to do so because the other holds the magnifier

can't read menus in restaurants

can't read brochures

can't see prices on clothes in stores

can't see sizes on clothes in stores

can't go to a store with my parents without them literally following me around to tell me how much everything costs/helping me find my size

can't look for books in the library because i can't read the titles

can't paint my own nails because i can't see them well enough

can't put makeup like eyeshadow on without a very high magnification mirror

can't tell what color eyes other people have because they're too small

can't see my friends in the hall at school until they are literally right in front of me which makes it look like i'm ignoring them a lot

can't see cute boys until they're right in front of me

can't see the symbols on laptop keyboards

can't see the letters when i'm typing on my iphone until i press them and they become big while you're holding them

can't see when i have food on my face in the mirror

can't see my own acne unless i use a magnification mirror

can't see if there are tissues in a classroom so i have to walk around awkwardly until i'm right in front of them and see them

can't find the trashcan in a classroom until i'm close to it

can't see the labels on car key alarms

can't read the buttons on the remote

can't read the buttons or screen on the microwave

can't read the time on the cable box

can't read the tv guide

can't read the clock in class

can't read every kitchen appliance ever like oven/dishwasher, etc.

can't see the labels on the laundry machine

can't see the labels on the dryer

can't see the text on board games (like the names of each place square on monopoly or what the cards say to do)

can't see cards in card games unless they're right in front of me (annoying in games where people put cards in a pile)

can't read shampoo/conditioner bottles in or out of shower

can't read labels on other beauty products like facial cleanser

can't read signs in public

can't see store names in the mall until i walk up to the store

can't read mall directories

can't eVEN DRIVE EVER IN MY LIFE BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS UNTIL WE'RE LIKE RIGHT UNDER THEM AND THAT'S THE ONE THAT GETS ME SO MAD AT EVERYTHING BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW I'LL EVER LIVE ON MY OWN

like the driving thing is what gets to me the most because im used to all the other stuff (not that it still doesn't irritate me) but like i'm 15 and all my friends are starting to learn to drive and talking about getting their permits and drivers ed and all that stuff and it just makes me want to cry because i'll never be able to do that. and i don't know what i'm going to do when i go off to college and live on my own because i'm so dependent on other people and i mean eventually i'll make friends who will help me out but at first it's going to be so scary like living on your own as an average person is scary but when you don't even have the means of doing things that normal people can do it becomes even scarier. i was thinking of moving to new york or somewhere with an extensive underground subway system but it's still hard because i can't read signs or anything and it really limits my options.

and compare all that to the list of benefits of having albinism:

getting a PE waiver because it's outside

my parents basically to have iphone/mac because apple has a low vision feature that lets you zoom in on things so they're the only products i can really use

 and i just really wanted to say that because i feel like al ot of pople are misinformed and just think "oh she's albino she gets light skin light hair and purple eyes how cool is that i wish i were albino" when really it just makes life difficult and i know it sounded really whiny but it's the truth and i'm just irritated and wanted to get that out.

and can people please stop sending me anon messages "are your albino/are your eyes purple" because the answer is yes and that isn't aimed at any one person in particular because i get it a LOT so don't feel bad if you asked because it doesn't offend me it just gets tiring