🪽Havenescence🪽

20 [147, bm! 22.3]

sw 165

cw 145

cgw 140

gw 135

ugw 125/120

[2026 july updated]

cw 129/130

cgw 125/120

minors dni 🖤

ill literally want to throw up and i love them but I just cant right now.

im doing a 7 day diet

its only 7 days, so i should be able to stick to it.

tuesday, 1 can tuna, lettuce wrapped, with cucumbers, bell peppers and tomatoes.

thursday, I will be keeping my intake at or under 1200-1500 calories, as to not concern anyone. consider this a metab day, as ill likely be going out to eat, omading.

wednesday, the 8th, ill be having black coffee, teas, 0 sugar drinks, and for dinner I will have a miso soup, and if i get hungry again I will drink chicken or vegetable broth.

friday, I will have only 1000 calories, in vegetables protein and healthy carbs.

saturday fast

sunday broths, vegetables and low cal drinks , keeping it under 800 c

Monday, 500 c of whatever.

repeat if possible.

it feels like sabotage. I feel like i can lose and hit my gw of 120-125 , but its going to disgust everyone around me? idk

I want to move away and just honestly focus on myself atp. my bfs understanding but even he seems to realize he only sees me eat with him and never any other time

I ate a bunch of food the past week, but i was at 134 yesterday. im wondering what im at now, since the past 2 days have been binge eating days .

hitting 120-125 is literally my goal.

shes like "dont get any thinner" but im SO close???

thats not fair???

and whats worse is that she herself doesnt have healthy eating habits to the point where its causing HER health issues so why can she say something?

it didnt matter when I told her

"hey, you doing *this*,*this*, and *that* triggers me"

or even just telling her I was starting to struggle mentally with it.

I was met with "well do you really, youre not starving, you dont look like youre starving"

calling me selfish and stupid for it when shes selfish and stupid too, just on the opposite side of the scale??

then shes like "not thinner, just sicklier" like????

fuck you, ok?

I know im def bigger rn but I need to eat like a 400 -800 cals a day and fast 2 days out of my weeks just to see what I can do.

my "fasts" (liquid) will either be accompanied by 5-10k steps, or ill sit at home doing nothing but sleeping, drinking low cal drinks, maybe having fruit if needed.

then, on my regular days, im going to be hitting 10 to 12k steps, eating no more than 900 - 1000 c of protein and clean foods, and hitting the gym 3 to 4 times a week, prioritizing cardio, arms, glutes and back.

essentially

fast~

fast~

1000

1000

800

500