lionhearted

“Glad to know you’re enjoying it so well.” Lucy drawled from the doorway that she was leaned against. She’d love to say that she hadn’t rushed over the second she heard that Robyn was home, but that’d be a lie. Lucy tried to avoid lying unless there was no other option. “Really, it’s quite reassuring to know my gift has gone to good use.”

Robyn rolled her eyes and sank further into the couch she sat on. Although her trip to New Jersey had been relatively short, a brief assessment of the place she was soon moving to, she had missed Lucy. She was the only reason this was even happening, after all. “Give it time,” she said, amusement clear, “I’m sure I’ll get used to the ugliness.”

“I missed you too, asshole! Bout time you were on my side of the world. How are you?”

“It’s, like, twenty degrees colder and everyone talks weird. But aside from that, I’m good! At least I’m not on the fucking plane anymore. And you--how’ve you been?”

“High school was a simpler time. I can’t stand college.”

“I can’t believe it took you ‘til now to be disillusioned.”

“Downside of living alone is remembering food doesn’t just magically appear out of nowhere. You actually got to make it.”

“That’s why I rely on takeout, like, seventy-five percent of the time.”

“What’s with that face?”

It’s funny. I still feel like a little girl . I’m still looking around to check and see what other people are doing to make sure I’m not completely different; I’m still looking around for help, hoping for a quick nudge and a whisper of advice. But I can’t seem to be able to catch anybody’s eye. Nobody else around me seems to be looking around and wondering what to do. Why is it that I feel like I’m the only person who is confused and concerned about the choices I’ve made and where I’m headed?

but this is what she learned from her mother: always run before you get too close, conceal your talons beneath pale pink nails and a honeyed tongue until the moment is right, smile, smile, smile.

I know I’m not myself with people… But am I myself when alone? That seems unlikely, too.