Wish You Were Here

Nothing I’ve read has changed me more than “you do people a favor by accepting their help” like I repeat this constantly to so many people because it’s true!!! People like to feel useful, they like to feel kind, they like to feel like they have an ability to impact people’s lives so just let them!! Not everything is a thing to be owed back — accept people’s kindness without making a competition out of it

I figured out too late in life that refusing random help will more often make the person feel unwanted or not trusted : (

This is true on the interpersonal level and on the community level. Your friendsgroup/family/house/affinity-group/street will thrive so much better when people accept each others help. When there is a regular back and forth of people helping each other and people accepting that help, you get a generous community where needing help is not stigmatized. Accepting help is an essential component of that. You literally can’t have a functioning community without it.

This really is how it feels looking back, but I know that recovery is a slow, painful, non-linear process. It does get better ❤️

when i was a teenager it felt very revolutionary to be cruel to myself. like some kind of slow passive protest against how much everything hurt. i starved myself of sleep and food and tenderness because it felt right. it felt sharp and angry and radical and i wanted to be those things. adulthood is the realisation that the world is already working to cut into you well before you learn how to do it yourself. caring for yourself and others is the real protest