what comes out of you doesn’t make you sick

Krisis na to ang tatapos sa akin

Hindi alam ng mundo kung gaano ako

There is no reason for me to stay anymore. There is no justification as to why I should stay any longer. I don’t see how it would do any of us good.

Staying for long would just hurt both sides, and that is and will never be my intention. It’s only gonna be counterproductive.

It has served its purpose, as I have too. Perhaps bittersweet for some, but this is where it ends. This is where I draw the line. And this is how I claim my freedom.

this is to free me. to save me, and others; to push me away from the tracks while the running train is still minutes away. while it’s not yet too late. I know it.

I refuse to look at this as a lacking on my end, as a suffering earned, as a a missed opportunity, as an attempt miserably failed one too many times, as a great loss. I did not lose anything.

in fact, this way, I would NOT lose anything.

Did you ever make it? I think hard to myself. Countless times a day.

Do you still miss me sometimes? I contemplate. No. I answer back. Quickly. Aggressively. I shouldn't even be delving in such foolishness. But what are the odds? The odds are as empty as this water glass beside me. Accompanying me in the wee hours of night. The odds are as clear as the day tomorrow. And tomorrow, the day will be.

Best.

Sorry that it was long overdue

Sorry that

my sorry was long overdue

Still, I say

and mean

with all my heart

and might

as I sit here in dim, warm light

melancholic tunes singing to me tonight,

as I think

ache

and long

for you,

that

And then I would go, “oh, that’s why.”

I get it now. I’m seeing things better.

missing you a little extra today. for some reason, this made me think of you, and of our good days together in the past. made me sad. really sad. and the rain is not helping at all.