CP.

Fuck having impostor syndrome, if I'm not entitled to be here they should've barred the doors better. If I'm doing everything wrong because of imaginary rules that nobody told me about, that's their problem, you should have made your confusing system more idiot-proof.

May this Season of Umoja bring joyful unity and righteous justice to our relatives, elders, organizers, and stewards from the ancestral lands of Congo and Palestine to the communities across Atlanta and Hawai’i.

Cowmooflage

It is absolutely crucial to understand that parents are no different from anybody else. "A pattern of seeking out emotionally unavailable people" can very easily still apply to parents! They don't become grocery stores just because they're parents. And in this case, your parents aren't a grocery store. They are not "out" of oranges, the oranges were never in stock and they were never going to be.

It's okay if you thought they were a grocery store! Parents are supposed to be grocery stores. It is not unreasonable to expect oranges from something you THINK is a grocery store, especially when everyone else is saying "look at these oranges I got at the grocery store, which is my parents." But at some point, you look around and realize-- wait, what the fuck, MY parents aren't a grocery store at all! no wonder I can't get oranges here! And then you stop expecting the oranges entirely.

That's what this is really about, at its core. It's about modifying expectations, not finding new ways to explain why they're still reasonable. If your parents are a grocery store that's just perpetually out of oranges, then you still have reason to believe this time might be different. They COULD have oranges this time; they're a grocery store. Maybe this time will be different. Maybe this time--

No. It won't be. Because the place where you are looking for oranges is fundamentally incapable of giving them to you.

It isn't fair that you got a hardware store when everyone else got groceries. You deserved to have oranges too, all the oranges you ever wanted. You know you deserve this, just like you know parents are supposed to be grocery stores-- it's why you keep checking! But at the end of the day, the simple fact is, you got a hardware store. It sucks and it's not fair and it's okay to feel whatever way you feel about it, for as long as you need to, but at some point...