soft as silk, sweet as honey

Natalia: i do vaguely know how to shotgun. i think?? is that the word?? i mean, i never tried it but i've seen people do it, so

“i  guess  so,”  natalia  hums,  shrugging  as  she  replies.  it  isn’t  that  she’s  not  excited  for  the  prospect  of  her  long-awaited  prom,  it’s  the  fact  it’s  another  unsupervised  party  with  alcohol  involved.  the  last  time  people  had  that  idea,  her  best  friend  died  ---  so  maybe  she  isn’t  in  the  general  prom  spirit  as  of  currently,  but  it’s  a  valid  concern  that  she’s  holding  onto.  “if  i  find  something  to  wear  in  time,  maybe,  but...  i’m  weighing  the  pros  and  cons.”  the  admittance  momentarily  feels  odd  coming  from  her  mouth,  because  not  unlike  many  younger  west  ham  residents,  nat  enjoys  a  good  party;  still,  there’s  a  bitter  taste  she’s  yet  to  fully  cleanse.  “what  about  you?  are  you  a  prom  sort  of  person?”

Natalia: considering i can’t exactly buy it

as  she  slips  the  gloves  over  her  hands,  only  then  does  she  notice  she’s  grabbed  her  dad’s.  maybe  a  subconscious  way  of  being  close  to  him,  she  doesn’t  know,  though  the  size  difference  is  more  comforting  than  annoying.  natalia  hesitates  for  a  second,  not  sure  where  to  start  in  this  newly  appointed  task  of  hers.  however,  before  she  makes  a  move,  she  sees  someone  approach.  it’s  mika,  and  the  genuine  look  of  surprise  on  her  features  is  likely  not  lost.  she  understands  his  choice  at  the  meeting,  she  thinks,  because  she  realizes  it’s  essentially  no  different  from  chance  or  isabel.  so  with  a  gentle  smile,  the  teen  finds  her  voice  to  speak.  “i’m  gonna  try  to  rescue  the  garden.”  it’s  tentative,  as  if  she’s  trying  to  stall  asking  if  he  wants  to  join.  it’s  his  garden,  too.  mika  helped,  although  begrudgingly  and  mostly  because  solana  made  him,  but  he  still  did  it.  “you  can  --  if  you  wanted  to,  you  can  help  me  ---  i  guess...  it’s  up  to  you,  mika.”

“you  got  me  a  knife?”  she’s  surprised,  a  bit  confused,  but  her  gaze  steadily  locks  onto  the  blade  as  she  picks  it  up  from  its  box.  it’s  sharp  and  sleek,  not  terribly  heavy;  the  knife  certainly  isn’t  like  the  ones  in  her  kitchen,  so  she  guesses  it’s  maybe  more  akin  to  a  dagger  if  anything.  regardless  it  has  a  good  grip,  or  at  least  she  thinks  it  does  as  she  continues  to  hold  it.  if  she  isn’t  careful,  someone  could  get  hurt  ---  but  half  of  her  knows  that’s  its  entire  purpose.  the  same  half  that  is  almost  mesmerized  by  the  gleaming  edge  and  the  oh  so  pretty  design.  “holy  shit,”  she  lets  slip  in  a  whisper.  “this  is  for  me,  right?  you’re  --  it’s  mine?”  natalia  has  to  ask  isabel  again  for  clarification,  because  she’s  never  had  something  like  this  to  herself  before.  she  thinks  she  likes  it  though,  if  the  grin  of  awe  tugging  at  her  lips  is  an  indication.  she  gives  it  a  small  test  twirl,  trying  her  hardest  to  be  mindful  of  her  flesh  and  surroundings,  not  wanting  to  cut  herself  or  have  it  fly  from  her  hand.  while  it’s  undeniably  clumsy,  it’s  as  if  something’s  awoken.  something  she  doesn’t  yet  have  a  name  for,  but  it’s  not  unwelcome.

how  does  she  think  it  went?  awfully,  although  she’s  lying  if  she  says  she  expected  otherwise.  natalia  has  her  own  hesitations  about  the  factions  forming,  and  it  took  a  solid  minute  or  five  before  she  inevitably  went  with  her  friends.  but  she  trusts  lane,  she  always  has.  while  to  an  extent  the  dichotomy  between  lane  and  odelia  is  semi-understood,  nat  still  has  hope  for  the  girl  in  front  of  her.  she  knows  lane  can  be  a  great  leader  if  she  was  more  forward  with  her  own  ideas,  and  not  seeming  to  settle  for  odelia’s  ‘yes  woman’.  natalia  doesn’t  want  to  possibly  sound  insulting  to  her  friend,  so  she  files  the  thought  away  for  now.  “it  could’ve  been  better,”  she  admits  gently  with  a  weak  laugh  as  her  arms  cross  loosely.  “i  guess  --  i  get  where  the  others  are  coming  from,  but  i  feel  like  it’s  gonna  make  things  more  difficult.  you  know,  for  all  of  us.”  groups  only  work  if  everyone  is  on  the  same  page,  and  after  that  meeting,  it’s  evident  that’s  not  the  case.  “but,”  she  begins  again,  trying  to  brighten  the  mood.  “i  really  do  believe  in  you,  and  odelia,  to  do  what  you  think  is  right.”  regardless  if  natalia’s  not  sure  of  what’s  right  or  not  anymore,  regardless  if  she  sometimes  can  feel  herself  struggle  with  being  the  light  that  never  goes  out,  she  knows  in  her  heart  that  her  friends  have  just  intentions  for  this  faction.  after  a  small  pause,  the  brunette  smiles  genuinely.  her  next  sentence  nothing  but  playful.  “though...  maybe  i  shouldn’t  say  that  yet.  it  might  boost  your  ego  too  much  and  let  newfound  leadership  go  to  your  head.”

[ LISTEN. ]

when  his  hand  touches  her  shoulder,  nat  automatically  recoils.  her  forlorn  expression  morphs  into  one  of  uncertainty.  no  one  else  in  town,  save  for  a  select  few,  seems  to  care  whether  or  not  justice  happens,  so  she’s  struggling  to  fully  believe  his  reassurance.  “i  already  said  i  was,”  she  bites  out,  faintly  sharper  than  normal.  she  doesn’t  mean  to,  but  her  stomach  immediately  churns  at  the  thought  of  it.  “i  was  gonna  leave  the  party.”  natalia  admits  with  a  sigh.  “but  then...”  the  words  catch  in  her  breath  as  her  mind  begins  to  wander.  with  a  small  shake  of  her  head,  the  brunette  clears  her  throat.  “i  don’t  know,  it  happened  so  fast.”

“he’s  one  of  my  best  friends,”  natalia  responds  slowly,  confusion  evident  in  her  voice.  she  doesn’t  realize  she  says  is,  not  was;  she  watches  the  other  mess  with  the  notepad  for  a  moment.  with  a  deep  breath,  she  frowns  as  she  remembers  ---  no  matter  how  much  she  washes  her  hand,  she  can’t  forget  how  his  felt  in  those  last  moments.  “uh  --  yeah.”

“have  you  heard  from  anyone  yet?  your  moms,  my  dad?”  there’s  a  beat  of  silence  as  her  focus  then  flashes  towards  her  forgotten  phone  on  a  nearby  table.  “i  haven’t  heard  from  anyone.  it’s,”  nat  trails  off  with  her  signing,  unsure  of  which  word  to  choose.  there’s  a  lot  that  she’s  feeling,  and  while  a  lot  of  it  stems  from  more  recent  events,  not  knowing  what’s  come  of  her  parents  and  aunts  is  slowly  but  surely  eating  at  her.  “it’s  a  little  concerning.”  only  a  little,  because  natalia  doesn’t  really  want  to  scare  peyton,  but  she’s  lying  if  she  says  she  isn’t  slightly  unnerved  about  everything,  herself.

as  she  takes  a  sip  of  the  tea  handed  to  her,  nat  thinks  for  a  moment.  “we  can  if  you  don’t  suddenly  find  something  that  looks  potentially  better.  i  -  i  think  it  should  be  out,  anyway.  i  haven’t  exactly  been  keeping  up.”  she  pauses,  careful  not  to  spill  as  she  shifts  into  a  more  comfortable  position.  it’s  going  to  always  be  weird,  she  thinks,  not  having  everyone  here  in  their  hangouts.  when  she  dated  jake,  there  were  times  it  was  just  the  two  of  them,  but  a  lot  of  their  dates  somehow  ended  up  being  friend  hangouts.  not  that  she  minded  it,  though  everything  is  different  now  ---  way  different.  completely  separate  levels  of  different.  a  faint,  almost  inaudible  sigh  escapes  her  lips  as  she  glances  towards  santi,  hands  still  gripping  the  mug.  natalia  does  her  best  to  smile  at  him,  because  really,  they  need  this;  time  to  try  and  be  semi-normal,  without  grieving  overtaking  the  day.  even  if  it  doesn’t  work  and  they  end  up  having  a  feelings  jam  instead  of  mindlessly  binge  watching  netflix,  it’s  nice  to  have  santi  around.  she  soon  drinks  more  of  her  tea,  not  wanting  it  to  get  too  cold.  “thanks  for  the  tea  by  the  way.  it’s  actually  really  good -- what  kind  is  it?”  she  purses  her  lips  slightly  before  continuing.  “or...  did  you  just  throw  whatever  sounded  good  into  the  tea  maker?”

“c’mon.”  she  then  gently  smiles  again,  moving  out  of  the  way  to  allow  him  entrance.  “i  don’t  know  if  mika  is  home,  but  if  he  is  then  he’s  probably  locked  himself  up  in  his  room  or  something,”  nat  explains  to  harry,  shrugging  halfheartedly  at  the  thought.  she  hasn’t  really  interacted  with  her  step-brother  since  the  night  of  the  party,  before  everything  went  to  actual  hell,  but  she’s  acclimated  to  not  seeing  or  hearing  from  him  for  long  periods  of  time.  “we  should  be  good  on  no  interruptions.”  since  their  parents  aren’t  back  yet,  for  whatever  reason.