bea.
Β Β Β Β Β are you sure youβre okay ?Β she wasnβtΒ .Β she wasnβt even closeΒ .Β she was scaredΒ ,Β she was confusedΒ ,Β she wasΒ lonelyΒ .Β she absolutely wasΒ notΒ okayΒ .Β she wanted to nodΒ ,Β advert her attention towards the groundΒ ,Β brush it off as she always didΒ .Β notΒ thinking about their current situation or the fact that the future wasΒ unknownΒ was her way of coping with itΒ .Β she began to do just thatΒ ,Β one simple nodΒ ,Β her eyes connecting with hisΒ .Β she needed someoneΒ .Β someone to know that sheΒ wasnβtΒ okayΒ .Β her nod stops halfway and her head shakes softlyΒ ,Β the fears that had burned themselves into her brain were nowΒ rollingΒ down her cheeksΒ .Β Β βΒ no ,Β iβm -Β iβm not okay .Β Β βΒ she admittedΒ .Β Β βΒ iβmΒ terrifiedΒ and iβm β¦Β alone .Β i donβt -Β i donβt fit in anywhereΒ .Β i -Β i spent my entire life trying to make people proud .Β thatβs all i did ,Β thatβs all i was .Β and now that theyβre gone ?Β iβm nothing .Β Β βΒ this was the first time sheβd verbally expressed her thoughtsΒ ,Β the first time sheβdΒ criedΒ since the tripΒ .Β Β βΒ i should have disappeared with the rest of them .Β Β βΒ @svntiagos
heβs prepared to back off -- everyone always answers that way, it seems, eager to prove that theyβre fine and, in some cases, sneering at him for even implying that they arenβt.Β but when she stops mid-way and backtracks, santiβs eyebrows draw together in concern, recalculating for a moment as she admits the TRUTH. and in moments, sheβs crumbling to pieces faster than he can catch her, and he swallows thickly in an attempt to buy himself enough time to compose himself.Β β i-i ---Β β he begins, but isnβt sure how to continue, her display of emotion acting like a magnet for his own, pulling the agitation and fear thatβs been steeping in his veins over the past few weeks straight to the surface. the subtle itch under his skin is an unfortunate side-effect, and he scratches at his arm idly to soothe it.Β β iβm scared, too, β he admits, just barely above a whisper as his eyes lift to meet hers. his own are watery and reddened, blinking rapidly in an attempt to stifle any tears from falling.Β β but -- but youβre not NOTHING, bea. donβt say that. thatβs not true. β he reiterates it multiple times to fill the silence, afraid itβll suffocate both of them if he lets it linger.Β β youβre not -- youβre not nothing. you matter. you matter so much. β he shakes his head, sniffling as the first few tears claim their victory over his flushed cheeks.Β β i-i ------ itβs -- itβs so hard, bea. i can barely do this without georgie. i ------ β he hiccups slightly, moving a hand up to wipe at his nose, dry his eyes.Β β ----- i-i couldnβt -- i couldnβt do this without you. i canβt. β











