Mad Med

Today is the day that I all I ever wanted to do was to cry, puke my guts out, and kill myself because of the dread that I will actually fail this rotation- anxiety is a frenemy, I know, and even though I already prayed, this day became the worst day yet.

Counting all my extensions and how many times I fail myself today in secret...

Let’s never ruin this creation.

I had the chance to dive for the first time today and I thought I’d really panic and swim up the moment I’m in the water- but instead, I felt so calm, contented and happy I though I’d never want to part with what’s under the sea again.

I have never seen anyone more entitled than a man owning any driving vehicle. They are so engrossed in it that they think they’re kings of the road. They could do no wrong when they drive. But they can- they do.

Most of them are complete assholes. If they see a slow moving car in their lane, they’d immediately think it’s a woman driving. If they’re correct they’d smirk, when they would know it’s another man, they’d provide reason, or excuse his slow driving. When they see you backing up on a busy street they’d fucking still cross that street. You’d have to wait until they pass to back up again. They’d honk your ears off when you suddenly have to restart your car. If they make you wait, they’d fucking tell you to wait but you can’t tell them that because you’re just a stupid girl driver.

I have a classmate who didn’t get to take a girl home one night and he fucking went ballistic. It was a highway to hell moment for all of us but thankfully, we were not with him. Lol

When in crossings, I would think that they’d be chill as fuck but the moment you rev up your engine they’d taunt you with their start stop stupid maneuver. They’d go a little bit so you could stop, put you in a very difficult maneuvering position, stop at that stupid distance, and they’d wait for you to adjust. What. Kind. Of. Stupidity. Is. That.

There was one time, I was taking a right turn when a taxi driver hit my car from the back because he didn’t see me taking a turn. How can he not see me when I saw him 400m away? He denied overspeeding but witnesses saw he was driving approx more than 60mph in a fucking lane designated for turning? And I got to be blamed for it because I was turning? What the fuck is that shit.

Now let’s talk about motorcycles. They are the bane of my existence. I never liked riding one nor am I accepting the drivers’ really, really shitty attitude. You want to turn right, you should give a fucking signal, mister. If you want to cut lanes, give a fucking signal. If you want to overtake, giva a fucking signal. Why are they not giving away anything? Is it because they’re small? Is it because they’re fast? Lol. Putangina.

Most people can be inconsiderate sometimes. Studying in co-working spaces or in cafes would, most of the time, bring you to an unavoidable circumstance of sharing a table with a stranger. Surprise!

Then they start banging their calculators, drinks, and pens on the table. I curse. Can I ask them to be more gentle? Are they immune to what they are doing? Are they doing this on purpose? I wouldn’t know. My head is already pounding. I blame myself- why can’t I study at home? At home is not peaceful too. Why can’t I study in my room? I’d sleep.