Nade's Archive 🩷🎀

"I miss everything we do, I'm half a heart without you."

Dear Liam,

I know Liam, I know with all my heart that you are watching over all of us as an angel. Just like how you did when you were on this earth, even now, you still continue to change our lives with an impact, so much larger than life itself.

It's been more than 3 months since you left this earth, but we miss you every single day. It's one AM and I'm crying in bed again, how can this be real Liam? How can we ever let go of that messy haired boy who smiles with his eyes? But I know now, I know that you are not gone. You are everywhere. You are in the clouds, in the little signs that look like your arrow tattoo, in every song that plays and in the faces of thousands of Directioners. Every time I talk to another Directioner, I swear, you live through us.

And Payno, let me tell you something, I hope it'll make you smile... Even though most of us never left, we were quite scattered, but you bought all the Directioners back together, and now we hold each other a little tighter. we keep on listening to songs you guys made together, on repeat. And then you know what Liam? Your Zayn and Tommo found their way back to each other! You brought them back together. You always had a way of mending hearts, and somehow, even now, you're still doing it.

So here's my promise to you, from just another fangirl living in a quite corner of the world, but I know it matters to you. I promise to you Liam, I'll never let you go. Just like how Lou wrote, I'll make sure to live one life for the two of us. And I'm sure thousands of others who love you forever are doing the same. I will blast your favorite 1D songs, sing at the top of my lungs, and dance like we’re at a show again. I'll hold hands with my fellow Directioners and talk about every beautiful thing that makes you who you are and you gave us.

I know, you wouldn't want us to remember you only with tears in our eyes. You always brought happiness and light into every room, and I'm sure that's how you'd want us to remember you, laughing, sharing your jokes, watching your old interviews, and smiling at the happiness you created. So, yes our dear Payno, that's exactly what we'll do. You will live on forever through all of us.

Since I can remember, I have always been a girl longing for the times that passed by, holding on to nostalgia. I don’t know, is it just me, or do you also feel that bittersweet longing for the early 2010s?

Maybe we cannot turn back time, but we can recreate those simpler times. Here’s how I’ve been making this 2025 my new 2012 lately!

🩷 Mood boards and curating image collections had been a huge part of my teenage years! It may sound like a silly little hobby of a teenage girl running after aesthetics, but trust me when I say that curating these little boards and collections, finding connections in visuals, brings so much inspiration. Back in the WeHeartIt days, I had thousands of collections that I used to get inspired to create OG characters, little stories, and poems. I miss dear old WHI (my typical nostalgic self), though we don’t have her anymore, we have Pinterest, or any other alternative you prefer. Just spend a few minutes a day adding inspiration to your collection, just like the good old days!

🩷 Listen to nostalgic playlists. One Direction, of course, is a must if you are a Directioner like me. Old Taylor’s songs, Ariana, and Demi Lovato are ruling my nostalgic wanna go back to good old days? playlists.

🩷 Room decor is another important thing. I said goodbye to boring beiges and browns and now embrace pastel colors again in my room. I put up 1D posters along with posters of my favorite TV shows and movies. Put on some fairy lights, too, and add pastel pink to appease that inner teenage longing for the best days I ever had.

🩷 Yeah, I know it’s good to avoid "superficial things" (whatever that even means!), if you say so. But watching casual, lighthearted shows and reading YA books won’t hurt your soul. In fact, they might light up your soul more than you’ve ever guessed. I paused my reading of Wuthering Heights back in December 2024 (I might pick her up again after some time, for sure) and thought of rereading the books I used to enjoy, without guilt. I dusted off some books on my shelf, such as Eleanor & Park, Fangirl, and The Fault in Our Stars (and please suggest more books to spark the teenage self in me again!!). Of course, as dystopian as it is, fangirling over The Hunger Games is still important. So is Harry Potter.

🩷 Fangirling! Remember that you are never too old to be a fangirl. Maybe this post is your sign that it’s time to fully embrace your fangirl self (or maybe fanboy) once again. And please, never let her go again. No matter how much you have to deal with the adult world and all its responsibilities, I truly hope you’ll find some time to fangirl over your favorite things guilt-free. Not sure where to start? One Direction, The Hunger Games, and Harry Potter are my favorites, so I suggest them to ya!

🩷 Bring back your old media. Last week, I went on a Barbie movie marathon and felt my heart become full from the good energy they give. I also started rewatching nostalgic TV shows like Merlin (BBC TV show), Once Upon A Time, Gilmore Girls, Pretty Little Liars, The Vampire Diaries, and Wizards of Waverly Place!

🩷 Be faithful to your hobbies! Maybe it’s taking photos and using over-exposure filters, or maybe it’s writing fanfiction that’s trashy to some. But please, never stop loving them. Once again, start writing, start living life carefree. Just like you did back in 2012.

These moments are slipping by, and I’ll do whatever it takes to hold on to them forever and ever. Trust me, you don’t have to let them go, especially those best years of your life!

This is just my fun take on each lad's Hogwarts house!

💙 Louis - Gryffindor. Of course, Louis has Ravenclaw qualities like wit and intelligence, but he always lets his brave heart lead the way. He is extremely mentally strong and always stands up for his friends. If that doesn't SCREAM Gryffindor, I don't know what does.

❤ Liam - I think, again, Gryffindor. While Louis is more of a Fred & Geroge-like Gryffindor, Liam would be a Hermione-like Gryffindor who would likely to start a "how to behave yourselves" workshop for the boys, to which none of the boys would attend! He's headstrong, bravehearted and takes the lead. If I have to pick between the other obvious choice, Ravenclaw, I sort our Payno into Gryffindor.

💚 Harry, Styles not Potter (I know, it's such a lame attempt at a joke but I couldn't resist 😭) - Ravenclaw. Yeah, I know. He's the kindhearted softie with so much Hufflepuff energy, but his intelligence and the way he embraces his individuality unapologetically makes me think of Luna Lovegood. So, I think our Harry is a Ravenclaw.

🤍 Niall - Hufflepuff. I cannot sort this sweet, church boy Niall into any other house! I can literally picture blond-haired Niall spending his time occupying the same spot to chill by the lake with his guitar while having a good laugh with his lads.

So… is it really over? I’ve been asking myself that question a lot lately. Liam’s passing has left a mark on me that will never truly fade. I know this stab at my heart will take years, maybe even a lifetime, to heal. I tried to gather my thoughts and find a little comfort by writing the following down, and I hope you’ll find some comfort in it too.

🩷 The boys may no longer make music together, but does that mean the impact they made on us is gone? Of course not. The connection we have with their music and the memories we made will always be part of the “story of our lives.” Instead of seeing it as the end, let’s think of it as moving into a new era. We’ve grown, the boys have grown, and our love for them has grown in new ways too.

🩷 Yes, it’s true that the years won’t come back, but we can revisit them anytime through their music and memories.

🩷 We can immerse ourselves in the nostalgia without guilt. Maybe we’ll rewatch This Is Us, scroll through Tumblr pages, watch their video diaries, fan edits, or interviews.

🩷 One Direction wasn’t just another boy band, they were a feeling. They shaped an entire generation without even realizing it, while the boys were just having fun. In many ways, they taught us how to laugh, dream, and connect with a community. That energy is larger than life and still lives in us.

🩷 We can always celebrate their anniversaries. The boys’ birthdays, their X Factor debut, album releases, and in doing so, we’ll always feel how big a part of our lives they still are.

🩷 We can treat the boys’ solo careers as a new chapter in their One Direction story. Their voices and essence are still present in each of their solo projects. The boys are living happy lives, still living the dream they worked so hard for, and we’re happy for them with all our hearts.

🩷 This fandom will always be a part of us. The joy, hope, and excitement we felt as Directioners shaped who we are today, and that part of us is never gone, it never will be.

🩷 Not everyone gets to experience something as powerful as being part of a fandom like this. We’ve been part of something magical, and we’ll always wear it as a badge of honor, a kind of talisman of comfort, joy, warmth, and hope.

🩷 Yes, we love the boys, and yes, they were a huge part of our lives. But we have to remember that life goes on and we have to participate in it, finding new joys and interests. Our love for them doesn’t have to fade just because life moves on.

🩷 In our own little ways, we can make this world a better place, maybe for just one person, making their day slightly better than it could have been. Just like how Liam always tried to. Even the “little things,” small acts of kindness, can honor Liam’s legacy.

🩷 We can create art, write poetry, blogs, poetry, we can journal about how much One Direction meant to us growing up and how Liam’s passing has stirred these emotions.

🩷 Embracing our fangirl or fanboy side unapologetically is another way to honor them. We can dive back into our passionate ways of fangirling while connecting with other Directioners in spaces like this. Without judgment, we can share how we feel in these little 1D communities. We can even contribute to fan projects to deepen our connection with this wholesome fandom.

🩷 Personally, I wrote a letter to Liam in my journal, talking about how much I love him. I even confessed how guilty I felt for not following his solo career as closely as I could have. I’ll always carry Liam’s memory with me.